Post # 1
So, my parents are paying for everything but we just got his guest list:96 def attending (he has a big family). I have a tiny family, only 26 attendees on my side. My fiancées parents haven’t offered to pay for anything except rehearsel dinner (I’m very appreciative!) but I feel like they should at least offer to give $ for flowers, honeymoon, etc. it’s not like they can’t afford it, his parents decided to take his three siblings and spouses and 7 grandkids on an all expense paid 5 star Cali beach vacation, three weeks before our wedding! Do I ask hMg fiancée if they plan to contribute Orr not say anything?!
Post # 3
Not say anything. You can talk to your fiance about if you two would like to contribute something so your parents don’t have to pay it all, and he may bring up asking his parents, but no, don’t say anything.
FWIW, our guest list is split about 50/50, but my parents are picking up most of the tab. His mom is giving us about 1/3rd of the cost of the rehearsal dinner. I would never dream of asking his side for money. If I didn’t want my parents to pay for a portion of it, I would (and am) paying for it myself.
Post # 4
You say, unfortunately, we have a limited budget and we are not able to accommodate your entire guest list. Which X (25? 50?) people would you like to attend? (Or you simply tell them who you will invite.) But you can’t “make” people give you money and in today’s world, it’s seen as the bride & groom’s responsibility now. (Sadly or I’d make my boss give me more money!)
Bummer about the trip though, if you weren’t invited I’d be feeling snubbed.
Post # 5
You don’t say anything. Tell them a number that they can invite based on your budget, and if they want to invite more, hopefully, they’ll pony up the cash!
Post # 6
You don’t say anything. It’s their money, not yours, and they can choose to spend it as they see fit.
Post # 7
@Eludke: ” it’s not like they can’t afford it, his parents decided to take his three siblings and spouses and 7 grandkids on an all expense paid 5 star Cali beach vacation, three weeks before our wedding!”
They probably had this trip planned for ages and saved up for ages! Some people have dreams of taking family on trips, but maybe not paying for someone else’s wedding. I see them differently.
If your FI’s siblings are going – are you two also invited on this trip?
I would not say anything. If they want to offer, they will, but asking would be kind of bossy and greedy.
Post # 8
Thanks for all the advice; the more I think about it, I am being a bit bratty. I should be appreciative for w everything I have! My fiancée and I were invited but it’s just kinda annoying bc it’s so close to our wedding. You all have made appreciative that a wedding is about love and I started getting caught up in the whole party part..