Post # 1
My fiance and I have been living together for two years now and engaged for a couple of months. We are nearing the point in which we are going to discuss our financial future (dun dun dun).
He makes around 15k more than I do, yet for the 2 years we have lived together we split everying 50/50. This split includes rent, utilities, vet bills, even dinners out.
For some reason I never really thought about that it might be a little unfair until now. If you make less than your SO, is it expected that he pick up a little more financial weight? Or do you still do 50/50?
I want to approach the subject, but I don’t want it to sound like that I’m asking him to support me now that we’re engaged – but there are things that I need like a new car (I’ve had mine for 12 years!) and I would need his help financially to do something like this.
I just want to make sure I’m not asking too much before I ask at all. Thanks girls!
Post # 3
We do 50% of our income into a joint account that pays shared bills.
Or you could think of it as % of your income per bill. so if he makes 10% more than you, he should pay 10% more of the bill than you. So it would be split 45/55.
Post # 4
My FI makes way more than I do! We see my money as “supplemental” and his as “crucial” He picks up on the bills where I lack… it isnt expected but its just how we do it. We split the bills before we were engaged but living together and then were more relaxed like we are now when we got engaged. I think it is just too much to split things when most of your things will be in joint names after you are married more than likely.
Post # 5
We don’t live together (yet) but our plan is to be completely joint and try and live off of our lowest income (currently mine).
I definitely don’t think it’s too much to ask – in fact, this is one of those topics that you SHOULD have before you get married! As a couple you need to decide if you want to continue each “paying your own way” or to be completely joint, or somewhere in between! Each couple is different, and without a totally honest discussion about each of your expectations, you won’t know where in that spectrum you fall!
That’s my two cents anyways :p
Post # 6
A lot of couples do things as a % of income. If he makes 60% of the income, then he should pay 60% of the bills.
Post # 7
FI makes a little more than me so he pays $800 of the mortgage and I pay $600. We then split the bills down the middle.
Post # 8
If you make less than your SO, is it expected that he pick up a little more financial weight?
for me the answer is no because i dont see how someone having a higher earning ability should mean they pay for more of the household costs
i will say i dont get how you go out for dinner and split the bill – i wouldnt be comfortable with that, sometimes i pay it and sometimes my hubby pays it – just depends on who gets their wallet out first
Post # 9
We split regular bills 50/50 … always. If we go out for dinner or on a date night, then he typically pays.
Post # 10
@eloping: that is how we do it. we do a “you paid last time. i’ll pay this time” sort of thing.
Post # 11
Before we combined our money we split everything 50/50, even though at one point I made about $15K more than him. However, I had/still have way more debt than him. Mostly in school loans.
You guys should definetly talk about it soon and figure out what works for you.
Post # 12
everyone is different – FI is in financial services – bless his heart – so i let him deal with budgets, which im terrible at, and i will pay the bills, which he is terrible at doing (on time) we are doing a joint checking so no more 50/50- its all OURS, all of it. i probably make a third of his salary. we have decided to “try out” living on his paycheck and completely saving mine. we will see how well it turns out.
it was never a question for us on how to do it, we were both on board for joint checking. as i said im a terrible budgeter…so tell me what i have to spend and im good. haha.
we get married in 10 days so we will see how it goes – up until now we have pretty much done things 50/50. or whoever has extra cash at the time. i get paid once a month – and he gets paid twice a month so there were times where i was low on cash and visa versa.
Post # 13
@eloping: I completely agree with everything you said.
My FI and I see our money as OURS 100% so there is no splitting of costs.
Post # 14
Well, we’re married, and all our money goes into one account and then we put a certain amount in savings and everything else we have to pay for comes out of our account. I make a little bit more, so I guess that means I end up paying for a little bit more of our expenses. Before we had combined finances we just split everything 50/50 regardless of who was making what. It never really bothered us because we have always viewed it all as “our” money, even before it all went into the same account.
ETA: I should add that now that all our finances are combined, it really doesn’t matter who pulls out their card to pay–it all goes on the same credit card, which gets paid for out of the same account. I vastly prefer this to our arrangement before, which was the whole “you paid last time, I’ll pay this time” thing. Too hard to keep track of. We even had a card in my husband’s wallet to try to keep it even. Ridiculous, I know.
Post # 15
My FI makes almost double what I make…but I still make a decent amount. Since he owned the house before we met and my name is not on the mortage at all it was decided that he would pay for that. I pay utilities, dog expenses, wedding expenses, etc. We alternate grocery weeks and when we dine out. I am not sure really what we are going to do when we get married.
Post # 16
Now that you’re engaged, I would talk to him about thinking about your money and his money as both of your money. His is yours and vice versa. It all goes into the same pot and you both decide on how and when to spend it. That might resolve the 50/50 issue.