Post # 1
This question is for people who lived with their significant others before getting married, but I am open to advice and comments from all. I’ve been feeling frustrated lately because our apartment is so damn small. I live in NYC where housing is very expensive so I am very grateful to be renting a place that is extremely affordable, with lovely landlords, in a lovely neighborhood. The only issue is that it is a small attic apartment and there is no space for entertaining guests… let alone storing our things. I can go on forever about how frustrating it canbe to live in a tiny apartment with minimal lighting. We tried looking into renting and buying but we simply don’t have the time or effort to put into that right now because we are planning our wedding (I sometimes wonder if we did everything backwards and should have purchased a house first). It’s tough because people in my family are constantly pressuring us to get a nicer place. They’ve even said things like we will be embarassed if people visit us in our apartment after having a nice wedding 🙁 I don’t even want to be bothered with a registry because we don’t even have anywhere to put things. So now I am wondering when/if everyone else moved into a larger space after getting married.
Post # 2
I just wanted to say I get where you are coming from. FI and I do own an apartment in NYC, but it 100% isn’t where we want to be forever. Actually, I’m pretty sure we’ll be out of here next year.
It’s really small. We’ve gone ahead and registered because we will eventually have a house and we’re just going to try to get creative about where we store and put things. Are you planning on staying in the city? If we were staying in the city I think we’d just have to learn how to deal with the lack of space.
Post # 3
futuremrsdeemac: We aren’t married yet, but our goal is to buy a house next year. Originally we had talked about getting a house before the wedding…but the thought of having a mortgage, house bills, and trying to afford a wedding stressed me out just thinking about it! So I was really glad when FI agreed with me on waiting. However; we did move from our 1 bedroom apt in LA (where we lived for 2 yrs) into a 2 bdrm apartment closer to FI’s family. That was definitely a nice upgrade…it’s in a much nice area…and FI enjoys actually having a closet since I had the closet in our old place..and now he has the guest bedroom closet all to himself lol
Post # 4
futuremrsdeemac: We are in a similar situation, our house isn’t tiny but it isn’t where I want to be living or raising a family so we’ll be buying a place, but not until after our wedding which is just under a year away.
We thought about whether to buy a house first but I felt like it would be such a huge stretch to pay off a home loan AND save for a wedding! this way we’ll get the wedding out of the way, start from scratch and hopefully buy 12-18 months after the wedding.
Don’t let other people pressure you, figure out your timeline and what will work best for the two of you and run with it. It will all work out!
Post # 5
my fiancé and I been living together for a 1 1/2 year and we have a big size apartment in new-jersey and we wanted to buy a house before the wedding after a lot of thinking and trying we realized it’s not the best idea to buy a house and finance a wedding
idk what part of NYC you live do you ever consider moving to new-jersey like Beyoncé edge-water Hoboken or jersey-city they have some pretty good size apartment and they are very nice
Post # 6
My fiance and I are moving in together this summer, renting a townhome or a house. I live in Indiana, so I’m not sure how different it is from New York, but I’m finding that once you look at a house and like it, the owners are very quick to move. We’ve been told since we want to move in June not to really look until May, because no one wants to lease that far in advance.
Post # 7
Chaedra: Thanks, that’s a good suggestion. We are thinking about leaving the city. I would have to figure out travel expenses though. Those bridge/tunnel tolls are brutal.
Post # 8
we got married in october. We lived together for two years before that. We live in a tiny duplex in a neighborhood we LOVE. We definitely can’t afford to buy a home in our neighborhood but we don’t want to live in a big house in the suburbs either. So we were going to wait. But then the place started to feel really small, and the market started to pick up, and we suddenly decided that it makes more sense to buy now before prices and interest rates get too high again. We managed to find a place that’s just a little bit in the ‘burbs but not too much. It’s not the neighborhood we love, but we like it well enough, can envision our kids growing up there (we’re 5 blocks away from the river!) and we have way more space to entertain. I think we made the right decision for us. But it’s all gotta depend on your financial situation and the market and what feels right for you.
Post # 9
futuremrsdeemac: I understand but if you live close to the city the path train is 2.50 a fair but you can get the montly pass for like 75 a month it’s something that can be added to your monthly expense they have some beautiful neighborhood in nj closer to the city if you ever need help I can help you I am a jersey girl
Post # 10
We lived in a 2-bedroom apartment before we got married. I thought we were going to stay there for at least a year after getting married, but we actually got a good chunk of change from the wedding, and that added to our own savings was enough for an FHA down payment! We literally went to talk to a lender 2 weeks after the wedding on a Wednesday (just to see if we had enough to afford a house and check out the rate we would get), met with an agent later that day, went out to see houses on Thursday and Friday, put an offer on a house on Saturday, and it was accepted on Sunday. It was nuts!!! We moved in 60 days later. We have been living here for not even 2 months. Crazy!!!!!!!!!!
It was the BEST thing ever for us and our cats! Especially after the wedding we felt SOOOO cramped. I was going CRAZY before the wedding because wedding things were taking over the apartment. We have had a lot of fun fixing up the new place, although it’s been a lot of work. We also used most of our savings for the down payment, and out extra income is going into fixing up the house, so we are not as well off financially for now, but I think it’s worth it. However, the cost of our mortgage is LESS than we were paying in rent. Totally worth it, and we are actually paying towards something now.
We were also like you and didn’t want a registry because we had no space to store things. I was secretly hoping for cash for a down payment, which is mainly what we got! We did have 1 small registry for people who prefer to give physical gifts.
We bought a rowhome in the city (Baltimore) so we have more of a townhouse feel than the apartment. And we have a basement, deck, and a small back yard area! Those also make the place seem much bigger. I’m happy we decided not to wait.
Best of luck!
Post # 11
Husband and I didn’t intend to buy so soon. But the market is blowing up where we live, and we were pushed into buying when they sold the house we were renting. The longer we look, the more I realize that if we didn’t start looking this last winter, that we probaby wouldn’t be able to afford to buy here in a couple of years. Which was going to be our original house buying timeline.
Post # 12
My fiance lived 6 hours away and moved to my city, into the house that I am renting. It’s 2500 sq ft so it’s plenty big for the two of us. I had planned on staying here another year after we were married and then moving somewhere else (he wants a few acres). Well, come to find out that my landlord hasn’t been paying the mortgage and my rental is in foreclosure. We made the decision to buy our house as a short sale and stay here for a few years. So we are in the process of buying it (short sales take months) while we are planning our wedding. Our house only has 3 bedrooms (I use one as an office) and a guest house (which can be rented out) so it won’t be big enough for us to have multiple kids here…but it’s a good investment for the next few years.
Bottom line is, I never PLANNED on buying a house right now…while we are paying for a wedding. I would have rather done one thing at a time so we wouldn’t be a stressed. If I were you, I’d stay in your apartment for 6 months-year after your wedding, adjust to married life, get a little savings, and then move. It’s so easy to get caught up in the fairytale of being married and having this cute little perfect home but take it one step at a time. There is no rush!