OMG. I totally get it. I do!!
First, I want to give you a virtual hug and tell you it WILL get better and it’s temporary. Second, I would like to suggest a book called “Emotionally Engaged”. I know you are married but it’s for engaged and newly married women. It talks about all the transitions we go through that no one ever tells us! It’s been a huge help to me right now.
I am in the midst of a huge transition with all this…I moved in with FI in Oct. He’s the third guy I’ve lived with so it’s not new to live with a man but to live with a guy on this level of commitment is different! Plus, he has a son, we see half the time and that’s been quite a change too. I cry a lot to FI that this doesn’t feel like my home. It doesn’t smell like “me”. So much is not me. I have had a really, really hard time with it. We are slowly repainting in things we like…okay me, but he gets lots of input. And I look forward to us registering because then it will be “our” things to look forward to getting. Here is what I suggest that’s helped me so far:
– Make/keep plans with your friends
– Pick up a new hobby or continue one you had even before you met FI
– Burn candles, have things that smell like you or stuff you like
– If you had towels from your previous home, use those. This helped a lot for some reason…they were comforting to me.
– Eat comforting foods/cook foods you love
– Watch movies/tv you would have watched before you lived together
– Cry when you feel like it. Just let it out. And if you like, journal how you feel
– Cuddle your stuffed animals, blankets…things that bring you comfort.
There have been times I’m so upset in this transition I get this strong urge to go “home”. Then I remember I AM home!! And I can’t go back to my apartment, in the part of town I loved and be alone. So I just cry. And I tell FI how I’m feeling. He’s watched me cry many a night. All while saying, “I swear I’m happy!” LOL!!! I was just having feelings about everything. When I would finish crying I would be so grateful for a man like him. And just know I was in the right spot.
I grew up in a house where it was boring and dull. Where my parents bedroom was beige with no personality. Guess where I live? In a house with a beige bedroom!! I cried and cried! Finally I told FI it had to go. And I explained it all. He understood and after the bathroom, the bedroom is next. So, I understand not wanting to be in a place that reminds of you of when you were a kid. I really, really do. Just try to make it your home and eagerly look forward to your new home.
I wish you the best. I can identify!