Post # 1
I will be the first to admit I didn’t do as much homework as I should have before hiring someone to help plan our wedding. I am 5 hours away from our wedding location & my parents are 1 1/2 hours away, so I need help.
First of all, she never returned a signed contract to me & the copy she has has our previous date on it (had to switch dates). She promised a list of preferred vendors, which has never been provided. I’ve sent 3 emails asking about a tux recommendation- the question has never been answered. When I spoke to her on the phone a week ago (after no communication from her for over a month) she couldn’t name her preferred vendor when I asked & was vague about the location.
She only had the name of one DJ in the area (Omaha isn’t exactly small town). I randomly checked out the knot’s boards and there was a post asking for contact info for the very DJ she mentioned to me the day before. When I checked out the poster, all her previous posts raved about her wonderful wedding planner. This persons user name just happens to have the same initials as the wedding planner said poster and I hired. When she did get back to me, she told me the guy was booked as was one other option (the two rec’s she got on the knot) and told me it would be at least $300 more for a DJ than the one I ended up booking. After doing the research I should have done, I found out she is relatively new to the area. She told me about several different weddings she had planned & the first idea she pitched to me- which I did like- I have learned over time was based from her own wedding.
After stressing I really wanted a trolley for transportation, she told me my budget was too limited and tried to talk me in to a limo. Limos to accommodate the number of people we had would have exceeded the trolley cost wise, so I took care of booking the trolley myself.
Against my better judgement, I emailed her last Monday asking about table sizes at the venue, what size linens I should rent, & her rec for vendor for as I wanted to take care of that when I’m home for Thanksgiving. She did not return my email for 3 days- and then said she didn’t know but would get back to me in a few days. I emailed the venue the evening before her response and got an answer from them before she could say I don’t know. She then apologized and said grad school was keeping her busy and asked for a list of vendors….but I’ve emailed her every contract or decision I’ve made.
I looked at the contract and it only addresses cancellations- which states that I’d have to pay her entire fee; obviously firing isn’t addressed. She gets rave reviews from weddings she has done day of, but right now she is beyond not impressing me. I’ve got a casual friend who does interior design & we have similar taste who is making my veil, jewelry, and some decor…she’s offered to be the day of coordinator if I want. What would you do?
Post # 3
It sounds like she is very unprofessional and more of a headache than a help. I think you have enough to worry about without dealing with her.
Post # 4
Sounds like you’re doing most of the work yourself. Have you tried talking to her about it? If you tell her you don’t like her work so far she might change her tune. I’d give her a warning and then tell her you’re thinking of bringing your services somwhere else. You’re not cancelling your wedding, you’re releasing her from work she hasn’t done.
Post # 5
Wow. That’s some bad service. I’d say it’s time to let her know that you won’t be needingher “assistance” planning your wedding.
Post # 6
Since she never returned a signed contract to you and this far you have proof that she didn’t provide you any of the services of a planner, my advice to you would be to outline all of that to your wedding planner and let her know that because of all that has taken place, you no longer need her services as she is not fulfilling her duties. Formally request in writing (not e-mail) for any funds you have paid to her to be refunded and get delivery confirmation or better yet tracking on the letter so you can verify that she received it.
You might as well save the money since you are basically doing everything yourself anyway.
Post # 7
i definitely agree… everyone is busy, but her first priority should be to her clients not grad school. and she definitely should not have told YOU that grad school was keeping her too busy! ick. i would definitely send her an email letting her know that you’ve decided to part ways with her and I would ask for your deposit back since you’ve never gotten a signed contract. It doesn’t sound to me that she’s done any research at all other than knot recs. I have heard that sometimes planners don’t focus on weddings that are really far in advance, and i personally think that it’s a load of bs. because the early bird catches the worm (and the best vendors). if you have your photographer, and venue booked, definitely ask them for recs on dj’s etc, they probably have a list of folks that they usually work with. you may also want to put out an add in the omaha craigslist for dj’s to see who responds (include your budget in there and that you will be in town to meet with them) that way you can see their portfolio, etc.
Post # 8
I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time. 🙁 I think you should dump her. If she’s not performing her duties as promised, you should just get rid of her. You seem to be managing things pretty well, so you shouldn’t have to pay her for work you’re doing yourself. 😛
If your friend really does seem eager to help, I’d probably take her up on it and have her help make sure the day-of runs smoothly.
Post # 9
I agree with crebre. Not only has she not provided an updated contract, she’s always not following through on her responsibilities. I would e-mail her and be honest. This woman needs to know that she can’t run a business like this, especially while still in school! There’s just no way she can focus on both, and I think we all know that a wedding planner has to focus on his or her clients all the time!
If it were me, I would say, “I’m really sorry to have to say this, but FI and I haven’t been happy with your services and we don’t think you’ve followed through on many of the responsibilities we hired you for. It seems like you have a lot going on with graduate school, which is and should be your number one priority. In the future, we hope you have a sucessful business, but at this point, we’d like to politely ask for our deposit back and go our separate ways so that we can continue with another planner that has more time to dedicate to our wedding.”
Post # 10
I agree with the others get out now. My Brother and SIL hired a coordinator and she was awful to deal with. We got the same kind of response as you are having. Well they didn’t fire her because she was a co-worker of the MIL. At the rehearsal I ran the whole thing because she was clueless has to how people walk down the asile and where they stand. Are you kidding me? And then the day of the wedding she calls me on my cell to see if I had bought my shoes. I’m yes I was the MOH that ordered everyones online for them. Did you forget that? The tables at the reception were not set-up right. In my opinion that’s what she should have been overseeing. The marriage contract went missing at the end of the night and come to find out she had it and never got the Pastor to sign it. Again are you kidding me? My brother and SIL ended-up driving and hour to meet her and get the contract and then and 2 hours to meet the Pastor.
So the signs are there now. You don’t want the stress we had the week of and day of the wedding!
Post # 11
If you’re asking the question now, the answer is yes, fire her. She sounds like no help and an additional stress.
Post # 12
- Wedding: April 2010 - Marie Gabrielle, Dallas
I think it’s worth it to talk to her about your concerns and give her an opportunity to change. If she is new at this, maybe you all can renegotiate your fees, and/or her responsiblities. Not saying that she isn’t acting shady, but I might point out specifically where she’s let you down before you fire her. If nothing changes after that, it’s worth it to work with your friend.
Post # 13
Wow! That does not sound like any wedding planner I’d want to keep. Granted, she might do fabulous the day of. IT sounds like she has issues in the “planning” department. I’d talk to her first, because legally, you might be obligated to pay her fee regardless if you use her. Can you budget handle that? Of course, with every contract (written or oral) you can take her to court and say she breached the contract; but who wants to deal with all of that. Unless of course your wedding budget is in the 6 figures and we’re talking about thousands of dollars in fees. IN any event. COMMUNICATION. Call her first and then follow up with an e-mail. That’s her notice that you’re not happy. If she still fails to get her act straight, then you should let her go and do ask for your fee back or deposit back. She should return it if she is aware that she has not met your standards. However, might be unlikely if she feels she hasn’t done anything wrong. Always, always, call her and communicate and then follow up with a writing. Keep a paper trail so that you have everything thing on paper if you decide to let her go. Sounds like you’re doing her job.
Post # 14
Thanks for all of the good advice. I feel better that people have the same general reaction to the situation that I’ve had. I am not looking forward to the confrontation, but I agree with those who say I need to talk to her and outline where things have been gone. At least its over the phone and not in person, so it will be a bit less awkward.
Post # 15
you can also definitely shoot her an email and let her know.
Post # 16
I would give her your thoughts on how you feel about her underwhelming performace and then give her an ultimatum. If she doesnt live up to it then fire her. period. Done deal (I would also make it very clear if she does NOT shape it up then there will be no $$ coming her way at all)