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What do you think about having the first baby in the early 30s? Any experiences?
I'm due with my first baby in June. I am 31. In my friends circle it's pretty normal.
I'm 32 and my first baby is due in June. This is pretty typical here in NYC, in fact, by city standards I am a young mother to be.
I am due with baby #1 in May and I am 33. I would not change a thing about the timing.
I think it all depends on how many kids you want altogether and how many years you want in between each child. some people have their kids very close together so they can start "late" but still be done having kids before someone who started earlier.
My mom had her first baby at 31 and a lot of women these days wait until their 30s to start having babies But personally I think the ideal age to start having kids is when you are in you're in your mid to late 20s. (25-29)
I'm a professional whose friends all went to grad school, so most women I know plan to wait til their 30s. I think I want to start just before that. As others have said, it depends how many kids you want total and how close together.
We want two babies and are planning on being pregnant at 30, starting TTC at 29. I think these days it's perfectly acceptable and normal in bigger cities.
My mom had me at 25 but I just can't even imagine having a baby 2 years from now (or less).
@bells: Why do you feel that way (and what part of the country are you from if you don't mind?)
I honestly can't imagine what my life would have been like if I got pregnant at 25. So many parties, so much champagne, so little time. Ack.
I'm turning 30 in January and don't have any children... so unless I have some kind of Christmas miracle, my first baby will be in my 30's!
Hopefully around 33-36ish ... but who knows. I also don't think I would mind only having 1.
I think it's pretty common these days.
I knew I wanted babies younger simply because I want to be done by my mid 30's and I don't want babies back to back. lol. Also b/c my parents and grandparents are still young enough to have them over... DS goes to my grandma's 1x a week and see's my parents quite often too.
Having kids is definitely something that you have to plan to work for you, your career/educational/life goals, and just when you're ready.... whenever that may be. =)
@plantains: Haha! Babies and champagne don't go well together.
I'll be almost 29 by the time we're married and unless we have an accident we don't plan on having chilren until I'm 30.
Well I'm not planning on trying until I'm 30. Ideally I'll have kids at 31 and 33/34. I find that people tend to wait longer to get married/have children in the northeast. There are tons of girls from my hs class with kids but they're all still in Florida.
@plantains: Agreed! At 33 I still feel like "how could I possibly be old enough to have a baby?". No way would I have been prepared in my 20s. I actually think getting married in your mid-20s is too young. Just my personal opinion.
And we plan to have 3 kids. (Maybe 2, I guess we'll see how #1 goes :-)
@bells: My mind set is the same as you age wise, for myself I mean. I see nothing wrong with being in your 30's.. I just always pictured myself being pg already right now actually (25) so TTC in a year or so is about as long as we'd like to wait.
I'm 31, 32 in February and trying for our first. Not unusual at all. I think that the early 30's are a great age to have kids.
I was born in NYC and I agree with you. I would like to have more than one child so thats part of the reason. Nothing wrong with having your first child in your mid to late twenties.
Today is my 30th birthday and we won't be TTC until after the wedding. So the earliest our first baby can arrive will be when I'm 31!
were I am from...It is the opposite. The normal age seems to be 20-25. some people even have muliple kids before 25. Also this follows with marrying young. I have seen ALOT of divorce as well.
I am 23 and So is 24 we get nagged daily about when we are getting married and starting on children. My answer is usally marriage will come when The time is right and babies not for another 6 years. people look at us like we are crazy... I only have one girlfriend left with out babies.
SO and I have discused when we want children..we bothed agreed 29-30 was a great age... we can both have a lot we would like to accomplish before children.
I have herd so many times...your body doesnt bounce back as fast when you have babies in your 30's.... you don't have the energy you had in your 20's.
@Dolcebabe: your body doesnt bounce back as fast when you have babies in your 30's.... you don't have the energy you had in your 20's.
This part I can kind of attest to b/c I had DS when I was 19 and now at 26 I can say that this pregnancy is much more tiring and harder in quiet a few ways, even though my ms and weight gain is ALOT less. DS is already 7 so I'm out of the stage of running after him constantly and he's pretty self sufficient but just body wise, I definitely feel it more this go round than the last. sigh =/ lol
@candy11: Hey, I don't have children yet but thought that I would add my two cents :)
I am 31 (turning 32 in February)... We will be TTC with our first child in July....which would mean (Lord willing), I will be 33 when we have our first.... we do want more than one and understand that we cannot have a huge gap in between (I am 5 years younger than my brother and he is 5 years younger than my sister....which means I am 10 years younger than her), we definitely can't do that so we will probably start on number two when the first one is 1.5 years old......
Anyways, I used to think about my age and the fact that I don't have kids yet.... BUT that has changed and I can't imagine it any other way... I have my degrees, partied, traveled all over, have a great job making good money, a house, etc....... I am just READY now to be a mom (and so is the FI)... We are SUPER excited about starting and we talk about it ALL the time...
Good luck to you!!!
I'm currently pregnant with my first child and I'm 36. Looking back, there is NO way I was ready to be married and have a child at 25! I was still in grad school at that time. I didn't even want mariage or kids until I met my husband and that wasn't even until I was 32. It really is whatever is best, timewise, for you and your partner.
I'm 31 and our first baby is due in May (I'll be almost 32). Very common in our friend circle and region to wait until 30 to have children.
We started trying when I was 31, and I can't imagine having started any sooner. I will be 33 when this little one is born in April. I do plan on having at least one more. As far as any age-related difficulties, I have actually had quite an easy pregnancy in almost all respects (minimal MS, normal blood pressure, etc., and lower weight gain). We will see what happens after, but I am not overly concerned about having difficulty getting my body back to somewhat normal. I would also say that early 30's is average in my circle.
I'm 33 and we are expecting our first child in July. :) We want more than one child so it's going to be back to back pregnancies. I kinda wish I could have started a little earlier, but I don't regret waiting, I'm very secure in my career and I had a great time partying in my 20s with no responsibility.
I am 31 and probably will not have my first kid by 33 or 34 and that bothered me a little bit because I feel I will be 2 old for my kids when they get a little older. I wanted to wait to have babies with the man I would spend the rest of my life with.
I'm 30 and the baby is due 3 weeks before I turn 31. In college, I thought I'd start having kids in my late 20s, but life can't be planned! We plan on having 2 because I want at least 2 years between #1 and #2, and don't want to have kids after 35.
We hope, God willing, to have three kids, and I don't want to have them after I turn 35 either. I am 26 almost 27, and we decided to wait a few years (to finish grad school). I also want to have them 2 years apart. I hope all turns out well for all the moms to be and anyone TTC.
I am pregnant and will be 33 when I have my first. Totally normal where I live in LA, especially for professional women. There is no way I would have been readt to have a baby in my 20's - I wanted to finish grad school, party, I lived abroard for a couple years and did a ton of travelling with my friends and hubby. We are also much more financially secure now (a few years after finishing grad school and being in my job for a few years) and finally have a house with a backyard to raise our first baby in.
Maybe my body won't bounce back as quick as it would have if I had a baby in my 20's, but I totally disagree that I don't have the energy that 20 year moms do. I run 3-4 mile per day and am very active, so I think I will have enough engery to chase around a toddler!
Also, having a baby around this age is totally normal in my group of friends.
@mwitter80: because in my personal situation I want to have atleast 3 year gap between each of my babies and i want 3 babies So if I have the first one hypothetically at 26, I couldhave the second when I am 29 and then have the last at 32. I prefer to be done before 35 because over 35 is considered higher risk.
And I am not in the south if thats what you are thinking lol. I live on the east coast, near NY in a big city. I spent a lot of my college years and some of my childhood in England.
My mother had me when she was 36. We had a lot of fun (I'm an only child) but I can say that me going through puberty while she went through menopause was absolute HELL for the both of us. I'm in my mid-twenties now and we are still slowly rebuilding our relationship. (We love one another and support one another, but we grate on each other like you wouldn't believe. I'm proud that we can actually have ten minute phone conversations now!) This could certainly be just our personalities clashing or her methods of parenting, but I'm hoping to have all of my children born before I hit 33, just to help avoid some of the emotional maelstrom.
I'm 32 and currently expecting my first. It had always been my intent to not get married until at least 30 with kids then to follow and I am so glad it actually worked out that way.
With waiting, I was able to live the 20s of my dreams - I lived abroad for 4 years, travelled the world, obtained my master's degree and did a whole host of things I wouldn't have been able to do had I gotten married early and had kids at a young age. That's just me though and those are things that were very important for me to accomplish at a young age - I know it's not for everyone.
I also look at several of my friends who had babies in their mid-20s and as their kids are all in school full-time now, they're starting to feel a sense of 'what have I actually accomplished with my life?' Again, I know this doesn't happen to everyone but it makes me even more grateful that I did what I wanted and lived my own life in my 20s before settling down.
ETA: My mom had her three kids at 30, 31, and 33 (I'm the middle). I have never felt a sense that she's an 'old' mom. In fact, I was glad she was a bit older as I know several people who had young moms who tried way too hard to be their child's 'friend' when we were all teenagers. That creeped me out and I knew I never wanted to be like that. And now in her early 60s, Mom still has loads of energy and will be a very hands-on grandma.
I'll be 30 (almost 31) when our 1st baby is born. Amongst my group of friends, this makes me a "young" mom. I've seen plenty of our friends have babies in their late 30s, and everything worked out great for them too. It does take longer to conceive the farther you get into you 30s, so that is something to be aware of.
I'm 30 and will be 31 when our baby is born. In a perfect world I probably would have liked to have started trying sooner but that didn't happen and I wouldn't change the way things are now for anything in the world. I feel ready and relaxed about the process now and I know that wouldn't have been the case even a few years ago.
We didn't start TTC till I was almost 30 and I'm almost 32 now. By the time we adopt/TTC again I'll be almost 33. No way in hell did I want children in my 20's; even if I knew then about my infertility. I enjoyed my life, traveled and became grounded in those years. People have less energy in their 30's? Absolutely not true. I'm in the time of my life and have plenty of energy. I think some people still have the mindset that 30+ is old and we can't do things a 25 year old can. Well I can assure you I could probably run circles around you!
I didn't want to have kids in my 20's. If truth be told, I'm nudging my mid-30's and if not for my biological clock, I probably would want to continue life as is now. I can't say I did that much with my 20's. I didn't party that much, I didn't get to live in another country nor did I get to do many things. But I lived in the city I've always wanted to live in, made good friends, went to law school, worked, shopped like a fiend etc. Many of my friends just started having kids in the last year or so and we are about in our early 30's but that's more a NYC thing. It might be younger for folks outside my geographical area.
I'm 30, almost 31, and we plan to TTC end of next year. In a few ways, that is later than I would have liked-- we want 2 kids, and there is always the fear that it could take a long time, but you really need to be ready for it to happen on first try! But overall, I'm really comfortable with our "plan". We got married when we were both 29 so this works for us.
However, when I was younger, like 20 or so, I really thought I would be married around mid twenties, and have at least my first kid before 30. Then I got to those ages and realized I wasn't ready for those life changes, and H certainly wasn't!
And, in my circle in the northeast, it seems like my friends are just starting on a round babies-- we had a couple of friends with happy surprises a few years earlier, but the first planned babies are just on their way now. We are all roughly the same age.
If we have a child/children, it won't be until I am in my 30s (I'll be 29 when we marry in October). I can't imagine doing it any other way. My fiance and I bought our home together two years ago and we have a significant amount saved. We also have great jobs. We've traveled together and taken some really amazing vacations. None of these things would have been possible if we had married earlier and started having kids. If we do decide to have them down the line, it will be entirely on our terms and we'll be more than ready for them financially/emotionally. I wouldn't want kids if it meant having them any other way.
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