First bridesmaid issue.. I really need some advice :(

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Seashells7:  I’d say just take the girls who can come and go dress shopping to browse.

If you find something you love and everyone agrees, majority rules and she will have to just try on the dress later.

Post # 4
Member
2209 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Seashells7:  Agree with PP; if she’s too busy, she’ll just have to wear whatever you and your other bridesmaids pick out.  You’ve done your best to accommodate everyone, and she’s had her chance.

You don’t need to order the dresses yet if your wedding’s in June.  When you go tonight, ask when they should be ordered by.  My guess is 3 or 4 months before the wedding.  She’ll just have to go to DB on her own time to order the dress, or get her measurements done by a seamstress and let you know so you can include her dress in a group order.  I would not randomly guess her size…baaaad idea.

Post # 5
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I think it is rude of her. You worked with her to find a date that she could make- taking into account her studying commitments. To go partying at the weekend and not have time to attend the appointment she committed to is poor time management on her part and is quite frankly rude! She knew in advance about the appointment- she even chose the date! To not attend is rude rude rude. Take the other girls and if a dress is chosen, brilliant. If A doesn’t like it, tough. She had her chance to contribute. She can go to the shop on her own and order the dress that you and the others chose. IT’s her poor time management that has led to this so it is up to her to make sure she sorts her dress order, not you

And you may get people jumping on to say that you can’t expect bridesmaids to put their life on hold, you should have no expectations etc etc, but expecting a bridesmaid to turn up to a prearranged appointment that was chosen by her is perfectly valid. I’d be livid.

Post # 7
Member
3084 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Ihavenottold:  +1. I totally agree with you. She shouldn’t have cancelled. I’d be annoyed regardless of what type of appointment it was. 

Post # 9
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013 - Callanwolde Fine Arts Center

@Seashells7:  I think your bridesmaid has to actually go to David’s Bridal and get measured by their staff for the sizing. That was at least how it worked at Alfred Angelo when my girls bought their dresses.

Post # 10
Member
802 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest

@Seashells7:  I would tell her that was going to be your approach (PP) and tell her it is a shame she can’t be there to choose for herself. She might quickly change her plans. 

I think you’ve been incredibly accomodating!

Post # 11
Member
6274 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Seashells7:  majority rules.  take the girls with you that can go and let them pick the dress.  you probably won’t need to order until 4ish months before wedding.  betweeen now and whatever deadline you set, tell A she needs to be measured either by DB or somewhere else and have them sent it. she will just have no input on the dress (if you are letting your girls have input)

 

 

 

Post # 12
Member
1290 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Seashells7:  It’s unfortunate, but you can’t force her.  If you find a dress that everyone else likes, then she can go back to David’s at any time and get measured and place her order at any DB store, not just the local one.  That is one nice thing about David’s for bridesmaids that live farther away – very convenient!  Just make sure to let them know that there’s another BM and they’ll add her name and the style/color that you choose to her account so all she has to do is get measured and place her order.

Post # 13
Member
1290 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Seashells7:  oh, and I totally think you’re fine for being mad.  You did everything you could to work around her and she blew it off.  But you can’t make her do anything, and you just have to be bummed for a minute and then let it go.  Unfortunately it won’t be the last time someone lets you down.  You can only control yourself though!

Post # 14
Member
2209 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Seashells7:  I kind of feel like she’s forfeited her right to an opinion by not showing up…lol.  But, if you still want to send pics, go ahead!

Post # 15
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Seashells7:  Just let your other girls pick the dress and let her come in on her own time to get measured. If she chooses to flake she loses her right to get a say so I wouldn’t text her esp. if she really is studying because she may just become annoyed.

@DomesticDiva:  agree!

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