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I love children and am looking forward to the time after my FI and I are married to have a baby. So I completely understand why the baby board seems so popular.
Except we are waiting to try until I graduate from school and are more settled (I don't graduate until 2012 and then it will take some time to get a house, etc.)
Basically, it's really frustrating for me to see all the baby posts all over WB. I love all the wedding posts, but sometimes its just so depressing to see all the baby posts and realize that I can't have that yet...
You're only 23! You have so much time. I know its hard to wait... but you'll be glad you did :)
Well, it seems to me like most of the women having babies are older than 23 =]. So I always remind myself that they ARE further along in their lives and that it gives you something to look forward to. It's a natural tendency, it's just something that comes with time and accomplishing the things you want in life first.
Babies are so cute and squishy and pokey (excpet when they cry) and the baby boards had me thinking last night.
Then i went to microbio lab and the 18 year old in the back was at least 6 months along. This girl was YOUNG.
Kinda snapped me back to reality.
Don't worry—it's not a competition, and you still have a ton of time to enjoy that phase of your life. But for now, enjoy the phase you're in, because it's a pretty great one too!
I guess I kind of feel like I have picked a career over having a family. When I'm done with school, I am considering do a residency (2 years with very little pay) and then I will have to work full time for a long time to actually pay back all of my school loans (it's ridiculous how much professional school costs!) I never thought I'd be the mother who would have to work full time while having small children.
I don't want a child now - I guess I want to feel like it's a possibility though in the next 5-10 years. I'm sure it will all work out, but in the meantime, I find it frustrating. Not sure if that makes sense...
It definitely makes sense. I never really thought that I would be the mother who would have to work full time with small children either, but things don't always work out the way we want them to. If it helps you at all, I'm 29, and we still haven't started trying yet. You definitely have plenty of time! Get yourself situated with your carreer first. I find that when you're settled somewhere, they are much more flexible with your schedule around kids and giving you time off with them.
I know this might get some unpopular responses,but to be honest I am starting to dislike the baby posts (not the posters and not that they aren't important). I have 2 kids and get so distracted by the baby posts. I know this is completely my issue and now many of you are saying then quite ready them, but who can avoid a talking about babies. I find that I am not getting as much wedding stuff done because I am on the baby board.
i would also like it if there was a filter on the main page - i like using the main board so that i can see all of the new posts in each section, vs having to stay in a few sections to reply to new posts. If we could filter that'd be wonderful, since i have no interest in babies.
@Melissabegins - I completely agree! I love reading this website because of the wedding information and ideas, not because I want a baby right now!
This was my one worry with a baby board. When we just had a thread, I kept asking people if they were ok with it, and the response seemed overwhelmingly positive. Things are set up now so that people can click on Wedding related and only see those posts and ignore non-Wedding related as had been requested before the baby board even existed... It was a way to filter content so that people who were only interested in the "Wedding related" content could click that board and never have to see the "NWR" posts.
I'm sorry if it is distressing to anyone. If you have any ideas that might help relieve that distress, will you share them? Is there a reason that the people who don't like the baby posts aren't using the tabs to filter them?
@Mrs. DG - Does Weddingbee have plans to branch out into something like Babybee?
I personally really like the baby boards. I am also surprised so many people dislike them even appearing! There was a lot when I was planning my wedding that didn't relate to me on the main boards - so I just didn't read the ones I wasn't interested in.
That said, if so many people are really bothered by it, can the baby posts just be removed from the main view so only those that click on the baby or NWR boards see them?
Also for those of you who do love WB, and do want kids eventually, when that time comes you will be so happy the baby board is here waiting for you - because there is honestly nothing great out there!!
I like 'em. I think they're cute =]. But, i'm already married, and I agree that I may have found them distracting if it was far removed from my mind. As it is now, 18 months away isn't really *that* far off that I don't think about it occassionally. Mostly cuz i hate surprises =]
I kind of think this is stemming from something a little deeper (I may be completely wrong though). I know that I come on this website because I am in the process of planning a wedding. I'm interested in cakes and photographers and reception ideas, etc. I'm not interested in having a bundle of joy yet.
It seems like there are a lot of people though who are around after they get married (which isn't bad!) and of course their priorities shift to marriage-related things (including having kids!). If I were there in my life, I would probably really like the baby board - but I'm not - I'm just trying to plan my wedding.
I may be stating the obvious, but where you are at in life kind of dictates what your interests are.
I don't mind them, but I feel like sometimes it would hurt some people's feelings if I were like "yeah, they're cute and I love playing with them, but I also love giving them back to their parents when they cry"... I have NO desire to have kids right now, though. None at ALL.
@KM- I would hope that doesn't hurt anyone's feelings! I think everyone is entitled to their opinions about kids and I'm pretty sure there are A LOT of people who feel the same way as you lol
I also don't quite understand why people don't like the board since you can filter for just wedding related posts and this won't show up? There are a couple of other boards I don't necessarily like, but I just tend to refrain from reading the thread if I see it's in one of those boards.
I think I understand what your saying, but maybe from the opposite perspective. As someone who has already completed her wedding and is now pregnant, sometimes I find the wedding-related posts a little distracting. A part of me misses planning still, and reading about dress hunts and ceremony planning makes me a little nostalgic. I think that's what you're saying about the baby (and other NWR?) boards. It just reminds you of where you aren't in life, instead of getting you excited about the big things coming up for you right now.
I actually really like the wedding versus non-wedding filters Mr. Bee put into place. I still read the general board, but mostly I find that I just skim over post titles until something catches my eye. When I get sad about being done with my wedding, I switch my view to NWR, instead. I guess the obvious answer is that I could just quit WB and move on, but I honestly like the community here, and I feel like I've made a few friends on these boards. It's hard to leave such an awesome group of posters, even after you've outlived the purpose of WB. :)
I love the baby boards, but I too get a little sad and disappointed that I'm not there yet.
FI and I have been planning to start trying after our wedding since we're both ready. Then my sister got engaged and is planning a DW 1 year from mine. So we were going to take a break from trying to make sure I'd be able to go, but now we're talking about waiting until after her wedding to start trying.
FI and I both work full time in totally underpaid professions, and I have school loans so I have to work full time. Finances have been very stressful, and while there's nothing that FI and I want more than a baby, we just know we have to wait.
It's such a bummer to want something and not be able to have it yet, but I had a long talk with my dad and came to the realization that I'm still young (just turned 26) and it'll be better to be prepared financially and have a house before a baby is added into the mix. I know we could make it work, but I don't want to make it any more stressful than it needs to be. And I really don't want to raise a child in an apartment. Both FI and I were raised on farms with lots of land and things to do outside, and it just feels wrong to us.
So we're waiting also... One day though!
@DG - I guess i could just view the wedding related, but I do like some of the NWR posts. After all, I am not planning a wedding any more. I would just like to filter the baby board specifically. No worries to people that want to talk about it, but I have zero interest in it and find that the main board gets clogged up.
I love all the NWR boards, even the ones that don't apply to me like baby. I feel like we are a community of woman who have a common interest (weddings), but more than that we're just a community of women. It seems like this site attracts so many smart, thoughtful, wonderful people that I LOVE the opportunity to speak to them about all facets of life, not just wedding stuff.
it will probably die down some, but it's a new board and getting lots of traffic right now
I'm a young mom, had my son at 20. But FI and i are going to wait to have another for a long while too! I love my son and wouldn't take it back for anything, but its a lot of work. We want to wait until i graduate too and get a "real" job! there are times when I wish that we could have a baby sooner, but we still have a lot of time. and the baby board is nice for girls who haven't had a baby yet to get their "fever" out without bugging their SO (kinda like the wedding posts! :) )
Melissa- could you click on NWR and then the subheading that you are interested in? Voila! the baby board goes away?
I really don't get it. I mean I'm 28 and not having a baby for a few more years (even though I really want one right now reallllly bad!) But I certainly have no problem with there being a board for it - I mean for lots of people it kind of comes naturally after marriage, and we have lots of amazing bees that stick around after marriage, (which is great!) and I see nothing wrong with giving them a place to talk about it. It's like the monster thread stuff - if you aren't interested, don't read it! There are plenty of NWR posts on the board right now that I could care less about - can't remember any right off the top of my head at the moment, but I just don't read them.
*ETA: For example, someone might not work out or have a pet - shouldn't we filter the fitness and pet boards too then? I just don't see the big deal on filtering just the baby board.
Aww, I like the "baby bee" Board name!
I do agree, it's daunting enough trying to get in shape physically and emotionally for marriage that it is sometimes daunting to see the flood of baby posts... I LOVE the wedding bee community so I wouldn't really want to leave either, but this is WEDDING bee. Maybe think about how like the Knot as "weddings" and "nesting" and other sections that are relevant to engaged and then newlyweds.
I guess you could also look at it like, even though you don't want to leave, eventually we'll all be married and on the "newlywed" board together again!
@DG - I think the wedding/NWR filters have been very helpful. Like Melissabegins, I don't want to see the baby posts, and it's great for filtering them out. I don't spend much time reading NWR posts anyway, so this type of filter works well for me.
@DG - I guess i could do that, but it's just not typically how I would operate on the site. Like if i wanted to read wedding stuff, and newlywed stuff, I would have to filter myself a couple times... rather than click the header for Boards and just see what is popping up that day. I don't really want to be posting on dead threads, you know?
@honeybun - well, I don't have a dog either, but I don't mind seeing people's new puppy pictures. If I did not like puppy pictures and there was a filter, I would filter out puppies and babies. I think that more people would find this type of feature useful than not - I would probably lose a couple of boards, personally. But none jump out as much as the baby board, b/c it seems like newlyweds either have baby fever, or baby allergy. Usually people don't get questioned at every single family get together about whether they're keeping up with their fitness routine, but you get pested about baby stuff. So seeing an aerobics post doesn't make me cringe the same way.
I think the baby board is great, but not for me personally.
I'm 22 and used to have huge baby fever...until we moved into a building with lots of kids. Several occasions of being woken up by temper tantrums, babies crying, etc, as well as watching little kids give attitude to their parents in the hallway or elevator, I am mostly cured. I generally ignore the baby posts here (as in scroll down past them) and don't find that it really affects my weddingbee experience.
I can't wait to have children with FI, but I've also learned to appreciate being young and free to do what I like in terms of career, travel, etc. Once you have kids, so many doors are closed for financial reasons...so I am going to enjoy being young for now.
I guess I am confused why the baby board is so controversial. There are lots of boards I had zero interest in when I was planning a wedding and I just didn't read them. I was not an encore and there were a TON of encore posts. So? I wasn't planning a wedding outside NYC, but there were a ton of local posts. So? I agree that when a board is new it seems to explode, but then it calms down. I don't see why there is so much animosity to something that you simply don't have to read....
And to be fair, just because someone is having a baby doesn't mean they have "baby fever". Its like saying anyone who is interested in planning a wedding is obsessed with their wedding.
@Melissabegins - we get you have zero interest in babies, that is great! a lot of people don't want them. But your irritation seems to have more to do with your family/friends expectations of you having a baby and is being projected on a community here who finds this resource so valuable . Is your annoyance at having to skip over baby related posts so much greater than all the benfit those of us that appreciate these boards are getting? This is a community that supports each other in the end...Yes it is a WEDDING website, but doesn't everything evolve and grow?
The way I look at it all is that there are boards on here that aren't for everyone, not just the baby board. Some people don't have pets, but for those who do it's a great board to have or a great board for those thinking of getting pets, etc. I have no personal need for a baby board right now, HOWEVER, I'm learning SOOOO much from the board and all the ladies there that I'm ecstatic that we have one. It will also be a great resource for me when the hubby and I do have a little one on the way. I figure if there's posts that aren't related to me or I'm not interested in them, I just don't click into the thread and read further...I just keep chugging along.
@melissabegins - i don't know why, but your comment "If I did not like puppy pictures and there was a filter, I would filter out puppies and babies" totally cracked me up =)
The baby fever will most likely wane- I had it bad too when I was 22-24 years old.
Everyone's on different timing and that's a beautiful thing. Enjoy your time together because it will be 18+ years before you are alone and completely free to do what you want again!
Please move the baby boards to some other page! I am with the original poster; not ready for a baby at all (and I am 27, not 23, so age has little to do with it).
I come to wedding bee to learn and share about wedding related topics. I really feel that baby related stuff is a whole other site.
@teaandtoast-what a great idea for a seperate Baby bee site, I know some other wedding planning sites have done this as well and I think it is a great idea.
As many others have said that while using the bee as a bride they have made friendships and want to continue on sharing their lives with these people. the bee is such a great resource for women. I did have a complete "doh" (insert picture of homer in your minds) moment, I didn't even know how to use the filters. I've always just come to the main boards page. Although not all of the pregnancy related posts are on baby board this should help keep me focused. Other wise I could spend all day talking about my pregnancys and my kids.
@janna19 - that was very defensive. I don't have a problem with the baby boards - i just don't want to read about them. Or meet ups in Portland Oregon. Or whatever it may be. I am suggesting a filter to filter out the things I would prefer not to read about, which happens to be babies in this case. Would you have liked to filter out the Encore posts? Sounds like you'd be up for it. I don't know where the misunderstanding is coming from.
Sorry if it sounded defensive, I didn't mean to. I just didn't understand why people were singling out the baby posts when there are plenty of things on here that irrelevant to each person. I agree it would be nice to have personal filters - so that we each had a main page with those boards we liked to read - but its not that hard to just skip over the threads of no interest so I don't see this as a huge need, just a nice to have.
Melissa- I think it's because we just finished instituting a filter. People can click on Wedding related and only get that content or NWR and only get that content. Mr. Bee worked really hard to do a board reorganization precisely so people could customize to content that was relevant to them.
It takes 1 or 2 clicks to get any board to disappear for you. I'm hoping to understand why folks are not so hip to using all the neat new filter functionality :)
I think it is just new. I rarely went to a specific board unless I was looking for something in particular. Other wise I go the the main board page. Until people brought up the filters i personally never used them. I never really had a need to either.
I just find the baby posts (and the NWR ones) a lil distracting. Sometimes fun to read but I come to weddingbee for wedding related ideas and nothing else really.
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