First comes love, then marriage, then babies or wait???

posted 3 years ago in TTC
  • poll: First comes love, then marriage, then babies or wait???
    Yes, will start on family right away within first year of being married : (37 votes)
    26 %
    No, will wait a bit, a year, couple years, etc : (88 votes)
    61 %
    Already have children :) : (6 votes)
    4 %
    Not planning on having kids :) : (8 votes)
    6 %
    Other : (5 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    3994 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    We got married on NYE and it was amazing! We both want kids and will absolutely love being parents, just not yet. We plan on waiting about 2 1/2 years to start trying, so our first baby will hopefull be born around our 3rd anniversary or a bit later.

    Post # 4
    8720 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    We are on the fence about having kids. Right now we both don’t really want one but IF we decide to it would definitely be 2-3 years from now.

    Post # 5
    6166 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    i would say age has a factor in it too.  i got married at 32, DH 35.  we started right away.

    if we were in our 20’s, we would have waited a year or so before starting.



    Post # 6
    9137 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    @SamanthaLovesJames:  Unless there is a pressing time issue (i.e. you’re 40 and you need to start TTC ASAP) then I have always thought that spending your first year together as a married couple without a child or pregnancy is a good idea.  I think it’s an especially good idea if you’ve never lived together because learning how to live together takes some time.  Marriage shouldn’t change your relationship profoundly but there are some changes in the first year or two that I believe need to be dealt with before adding a baby to the mix because babies are inherently stressful the first year or two.

    Can a marriage work if you get pregnant on your honeymoon or during the first year (or before you get married for that matter)?  Absolutely.  But if one year just as a married couple can give you a more solid foundation for your relationship, I think it’s a good investment in your longterm relationship.

    Post # 7
    7664 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    I think it depends on your age and under what circumstances you get married. DH and I saved up for a house because that was our priority. Then came marriage… our next financial splurge. Now, as I begin my 30s and he finishes his 20s, we are preparing to have children. It seems like it’s all happening close together, but it isn’t… it’s happening as fast as our age and financial circumstances dictate.

    Post # 8
    2179 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2024

    I chose other because SO have decided to try for a baby soon, we aren’t engaged and currently have no plans for marriage. A baby however is something we are both on board with!

    Post # 9
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    We started TTC a few months before the wedding as we are mid/late 30’s.

    Post # 10
    1802 posts
    Buzzing bee

    It really just depends on where our lives take us in the next couple of years. If I get accepted to the grad school I am looking at which is located abroad we will be getting married when I am 22 and he is almost 24. If that’s the case we will definitely be waiting 5+ years to have children. If I don’t get accepted to school, and I end up going to grad school in the states or not at all we will probably hold off on getting married for a few more years then have kids a bit sooner after.

    Post # 12
    885 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    We got married in October, and are still on the fence about having kids, but if we do, we’d be waiting 5-7 years.  Even though I think about it here and there, DH and I have agreed not to talk about it too much, and just enjoy married life for now.

    Post # 13
    1362 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

    The plan is to wait a year or two, but we’ll see… 🙂

    Post # 14
    4762 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    We have been married almost 5 months and will probably go off the pill within the next 6 months. I’m 28 and my husband is 38, so age plays a big factor. We were also together for 5 years when we got married, so we didn’t feel like we needed to be married for years before we start trying.

    Post # 15
    1590 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I’ll be 29 when we get married, so I think we’ll start around the one-year mark. 

    Post # 16
    22124 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2011

    We’ve been married for two and a half years, and I’m still not ready for kids. We may reassess around five years or so. 🙂

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