Post # 1
So – neither he nor I want to do a first dance. No disrespect intended to those who do, but we feel quite strongly that this is not something for us. We are having a very casual, very DIY wedding (including laptop playlists instead of DJ) and we both assumed that once dinner had ended and the music had started that people would just get up and dance. Apparently not. We have been warned by our (quite traditional) family and friends on both sides that people will not dance before we have our first dance. Any ideas to get around this one? We will both be making a short speech, so we were thinking about saying that instead of having a first dance, we would like everyone to join us on the dance floor to get the party started… This has already been shot down as strange by Future Sister-In-Law. Any other suggestions? Should we just get over ourselves and do it??
Post # 3
Could you do what a first dance is traditionally supposed to be, and dance together for only a short time (like a minute)? Then your dad cuts in, and he goes off to dance with his mum, and the bridal party joins in, encouraging everyone else to join.
A "first dance" wasn’t originally a performance where everyone stood around and watched you (let alone followed by father-daughter dance, bridal party dance etc), so I think you can avoid it 🙂 Do you have a supportive bridal party who will lead the way and join in?
(I have nothing against first dances etc, will for sure do one myself. They’ve just morphed over time, is all I’m saying!).
Post # 4
You can avoid it – your parents are thinking VERY conservatively. Id speak to some friends beforehand and let them know you need them to rush the dancefloor as soon as the music starts. You could announce that the party is beginning and there will be no first dance, but I feel like the wording of that could get awkward or confusing. Id just have your friends and Bridal Party get to the dancing so nobody feels like "OH NO! We have to wait for the first dance!!"
Post # 5
I absolutely don’t think that’s strange, if it’s important to you stick to your guns! I honestly don’t even think I would notice if the couple didn’t have a first dance, as a guest I’m always just waitng for my chance to get on the dance floor. If you want to make a speech first explaining, that’s fine, otherwise ask some close friends to break the ice by getting out there.
Post # 6
Actually, fiances brother and his wife danced after dinner – and it was announced by the band, and before that everyone was dancing. I think it just all depends and if done right will flow. I watched their dvd and everyone danced the entire time.
Post # 7
I say there’s no "tradition" that you *have* to do at your wedding. It all depends on how you feel. I definitely think it would be fine to announce to your guests that you’re not having a first dance. Just let them know that instead of the First Dance, you want them to join you out on the dance floor to celebrate and then play something fun and upbeat.
Post # 8
Thanks so much for the comments – I just needed to hear that we weren’t being either selfish or strange! We’ve decided to go with how we feel and are not having a first dance. As some of you suggested, I’ll enlist a group of friends that I know will be itching to get out there anyway and then we can all hit the dance floor together.