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Although I haven't gotten that far in my finding the perfect dress process, I can understand a bit from where you are coming from. The first step I took to find a dress, I had tried to contact a few of my friends. Only one person had responded to me, and she wasn't able to come. The others had ignored my texts and phone calls. The two people I could depend on both live far away, and I had to face the inevitable. Going against all rules, my fiance came with me because I needed the support.
Even though you may not have anyone with you at your first fitting, make the best out of it. Take plenty of pictures and email it to those who are unable to come. I'm sure that they would love to hear about your fitting and see your beautiful dress. You will always have the support of your friends and family, even if they are further away. Of course you have the support of the weddingbee community as well.
Good luck at your first fitting!
I am still in search of but I've stopped taking my MOH and local BM dress shopping until I am close to buying the one.
Here's the thing and I just blogged about this last night: some parts of your wedding are deeply personal. It's an exciting and memorable day: enjoy it, connect with the ladies at the bridal shop - I've received so much good advice and made friends with my vendors. That wouldn't be possible with a group of women with me.
I completely understand being disappointed that your mom and MOH can't be there - if it's super important to you, would you like to reschedule? Do what makes you feel good but I hope whatever decision you make will lead to a wonderful memory of trying your dress on the right way for the first time :-) GL!
Hi Chela - I think you need to tell your sister that you need her. Sometimes my sister pulls that with me - she just doesn't realize when I need her. I could easily see her doing this to me (esp b/c I very rarely ask for help from anyone. not sure if you are the same way) and I would flat out tell her that I need her to show up. I know it's not ideal b/c you feel like she doesn't want to be there, but at this point who cares. You need her to be there so just ask her/make her be there. That's whay sisters are for!
have fun tonight!!
Habibi - I don't want to force someone to come along. I did respond to her message and said that I dont need someone there but would like someone there. At this point I almost want my fiance there more than her since I would want someone supportive at my side. If I force her she might be resentful.
Oh Chela, I'm so sorry you feel like she might be resentful! I guess I was hoping she'd just realize she needed to do this for you. Is there anyone on your fiance's side nearby that can come with you? Is his mom nearby?
Don't be too upset. I think we see all the hoopla on TV, i.e. "Say Yes to the Dress" and we begin to expect the same thing.
I picked out the dress with my FI's godsister and have gone to all my fittings alone.
His family is all in Wisconsin, my bridesmaids are all over the place, I reached out to one of them who goes to school in Queens, works in Manhattan and lives in Brooklyn. If she's in the area and isn't working or in school then possibly she can come.
Chela,
I'm sorry that you feel bad about not having anyone at your first fitting. I am an extremely busy bride, so I actually spent all of my dress shopping trips by myself(unless you count the attendant). All of my bridal party people are out of town, and so is all of my family. I have a hectic schedule that causes me to make last-minute appointments, and a mother who - believe it or not - HATES to shop. So, that all led to shopping by myself.
Honestly, the only time I ever felt bad about it myself was when my bridesmaids mentioned wishing they were there! I guess it's all based on your personality. I didn't want to bother anyone to drag them to multiple salons on multiple trips, especially when they lived so far away. Even though my FI has a sister-in-law and two stepsisters, as well as a stepmother, I just didn't feel it would be that important to me personally.
My mother did come to my first dress fitting, but mostly because I wanted her to know what the dress looked like, since otherwise she would see it when everyone else does on my wedding day!
I think it might be helpful to consider arranging your second fitting around your family and friends' schedules so that they might be able to come next time. As for this one, just take lots of pictures! I'm sure they'll be excited to see them and sorry they missed it!
I didn't even think about taking pictures. The problem is my camera was lost on a plane and someone took it instead of returning it to lost and found. I am waiting for it to be replaced. That just made me more upset. I think I'm just overly emotional, I'm sure it will be fine.
This is my first wedding break-down.
Try to focus on the positive. You are trying on your wedding dress tonight! That you love! And your wedding is at the end of the month. All good things...
I'm in the nyc area too, where did you get your dress?
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Yes! I tried on dresses a few times and went to a fitting by myself. It wasn't a bad experience. I had the seamstress take some pictures and just took my time.
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Like Angeldoc, I had to fit all of this in a busy schedule and most of my friends and family are out of town. At first I felt a little wistful that there wouldn't be a bridal bonding moment... but you know what? It didn't diminish the specialness of the moment to me.
I had the consultant snap a few cell phone pics just show I could show my friends, sisters and mom... but in the end, the most important part of the moment was that I felt like a bride.
Try not to compare your experience to the idealized experience of others. Real life has it's own challenges for all of us and rarely offers those "perfect Kodak moments".
And you know what? We'll all be with you in spirit and will be anxiously awaiting pics if you can get any!
I know it's not the end of world. Thank you ladies for helping me keep my perspective. I guess I just wanted to have one other person with me that I could gush over my dress with and help me make decisions on how to bustle. I wanted someone to provide emotional support. I wanted this to be fun moment with others something I can share.
No one has come with me to any fittings so far. I have had two and it is just me and the tailor. I might ask my MOH and mom to come to the last one to take pics and help me get excited, but I know they have better things to do.
Luckily, it isn't that important to me for someone to be there, but if it is to you, then you need to express that to them.
Thanks Doctorgirl, AmyM and all you other brides who did it on their own. It's nice to know that I wouldn't be the only one to have that kind of experience.
I totally second the taking pictures...I'm way across the country from my entire BP and my Mom. And since I'm having a custom dress, there's a lot of fittings. But to be honest, it was kind of fun to go alone to the first one (my mom may come out for the next one b/c she hasn't seen the dress yet). I would recommend seeing this as an opportunity to really soak in the experience in your own personal way rather than letting it get you down. You really can just revel in the experience of feeling like a bride :)
I'm planning on going to mine by myself. I think it will go much smoother without outside opinions. I really trust my seamstress, so her input matters most to me and I'm glad that's all I'll be getting.
I went to mine by myself. There was no one to go with me. It was fine. You will be fine! I'm sorry you're feeling upset :(
I agree with DoctorGirl - take pictures and post them on weddingbee! We'll be happy to gush all over your dress and bustle with you! The best thing is we're also pretty much a 24/7 hive, since we're all from different parts of the city/world! :)
I'm sure you'll look gorgeous, and just remember that we'll all be thinking of you!
Angeldoc, you are right about the whole hive thing. This is the first time I have felt of it as a community. As in we can depend on each other. I really feel supported by many of you right now. You should all know that my FH is being great about it too, and volunteered to come along if it was ok with me. I am a little old fashioned though and asked him to meet me afterwards.
I reached out to a friend that works in the city but she'll be at work till 7pm. I reached out to one younger cousin but she'll be in class. I'm holding out for one last bridesmaid, I sent her an email and text but if she's at work she wont receive either.
Chela, do you have a camera phone? If so, you can have your seamstress take pictures on the spot and send them to your bridesmaids and family. That way they'll still get the participate! Heck, send it to us! :)
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I have a raspberry, and I will see they can take pictures. If so I'll share!
I only had one person come to my second dress fitting with me. I didn't read into it. My mom decided to see my dress for the first time on the wedding day. The people who work in bridal salons are great and you will be fine!
I went to my first dress shopping alone too! Don't worry, you'll still get all teary and stuff. I wish anyone could have been there, but I made the most of it on my own!
My close friends and family are far, far away, so I went to some of my fittings alone, and some with my FI. It wasn't ideal, but it happens. I just had a lot of pictures taken so I could email them to my mom!
Somewhat ironically, my fiance is actually going to have to help me dress on our wedding day, as he will be the only one who knows how to fasten the back of my dress, and bustle my train. It wasn't how I pictured getting ready on my wedding day, and we won't get to have a big reveal kind of moment, but it will make for some cute pictures! There's always a bright side!
Yes, I did, and it didn't occur to me anyone should come, although it would have been nice. The appointments were during the week, and my family is not local and my two BMs who are have jobs....I had my MOH come to the final one to learn the bustle though :) Can you borrow a digital camera from someone to take pics? I took pics and shared them with my mom who lives in MI (I also live in NYC!)
Oh and the seamstress who was with me was so cute and gushy when I put it on, so that was nice!
I will be! I also bought the dress by myself... at first I was a little bummed, but i like shopping alone. I can take my sweet time in looking through the racks and no one suggested anything that I would have to turn down. Also! I want to go to the fitting alone, because now the dress is a secret from all!!! : D
I went by myself the first time - although I completely understand how you feel. Something about weddings makes you so overly emotional about things that would otherwise not bother you. I think going by yourself at least once is very beneficial because it will give you your own perpective of the fit/dress/etc without even your most trusted friends' & family's opinion.
You could always think of it this way... this is your chance to discuss with your seamstress what YOU want and not have other people trying to influence how the dress to fit. Then, when it fits like a glove for the first time, you can share that moment with your MOH or someone else close to you!
I was with a so-so friend when I found my dress. I always imagined that I would be with my mom and sisters and when I walked out in the dress, my sisters would scream, and my mom would start crying. Unfortunately, I got a half smile followed by a, "Are you sure? I liked the other one better. And this one is twice the price." But I love my dress, and I love the way I feel in it, and I know my fiance will love how I look in it and that's all that really matters.
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I went to mine by myself. It wasn't a bad experience at all, (the shop owners, seamstresses and others in the store will be oohing and ahhing!) but I had wished that my mom was there when they wanted me to make a decision on my bustle.
I wasn't emotionally upset though! Good Luck!
I left work at 4 to make my way to Pronovias for my fitting. The experience exceeded my expectations. The seamstress I had was very sweet, talkative and non-pushy. After five minutes were exchanging stories and at ease with each other. Also the dress fit which was a concern.
After I left the store I received a call from my sister. She had rushed to try to catch the last part of the fitting. What I thought was her not wanting to be bothered was just that she was busy at work. As soon as she could she left her job to try and meet me. That was very sweet. I got one terrible pic but I can't upload it here from my Raspberry.
Thank you ladies, this afternoon I was feeling low but you were very supportive and that helped a lot. I really appreciated it.
I'm so glad to hear that things worked out, and that you enjoyed your fitting. There's nothing like an experience like that to remind you that you're still the bride, and every moment should be treasured, with or without other people there!
I'm also glad you found out your sister did the best she could to make it to your fitting. I'm sure you felt much better knowing someone put so much effort into being there for you.
Keep us updated...maybe you can just upload a picture of your dress?? *wink wink*
Yes, we want to see your dress! I am glad your fitting turned out so well :)
I went to mine by myself. My matron of honor lives out of state, as does my mom. It was totally fine and maybe even easier because I didn't have to deal with others opinions.
I'm glad it went well for you, Chela. That's nice that your sister was trying to meet you.
I went to order my dress by myself because my mom was recovering from a heart attack. I was really sad that I wasn't able to share it with her, but it was still a nice experience. I made sure that I had my mom, sis, aunt and grandma come with me for my first fitting when my dress actually came in. Maybe your sister will be able to make it for your next fitting!
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I did ALL my dress stuff all by myself. It sorta sucked because I had to watch moms and their daughters together, but mine live 5 hours away and dragging them shopping with them all the time wasn't an option. But, hopefully the salesladies notice this and went out of their way to help you. The saleswoman at the shop I went to were SUPER helpful and paid more attention to me than anybody else, zipping me into my dresses, offering HONEST opinions, taking pictures while I sent them to my mom on my phone, etc. It was pretty easy, though, because I was able to go "yes" and "no" on dresses easily without an outside opinion influencing me. I didn't want to be one of those brides that bought two or three dresses...I simply couldn't have afforded it! Glad to see it worked out okay though!
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Today is my first dress fitting. No one is coming with me. My mom works, and lives an hour away, two of my cousins work late and live an hour away. One cousin works in NYC but she has meetings. My sister (MOH) sent me the following message: "If you really need me to go with you I will". Code for I dont want to go or would rather do something else, but if you are going to get all needy then I'll go. The thing is she knew about this appointment told me she would go, asked me a week ago to confirm the date and now....
Well needless to say, I feel horrible. I hate the idea of trying on my dress for the first time, I thought I would be happy and surrounded by people I love and instead I will be by myself. I can't change the appointment since it's too close to the date.
I guess I'm just venting. Did anyone else here go to their dress fitting by themselves?
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