(Closed) First Dress Try On From Hell …

posted 5 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
42 posts
  • Wedding: June 2014

I went dress shopping by myself… I was the only person who didnt drag tons of people with me. i dont take other people jeans shopping so i didnt think twice about it. However, i went back with one friend to get her opinion before i actually bought the dress. 

Post # 4
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

The first time I went dress shopping it was with my mum, and only my mum. Which I hugely, HUGELY regret because frankly she had ALL SORTS of ideas about how a bride should look (and was basically living vicariously). And generally speaking we didn’t agree. 


The first shop we went to was deeply intimidating, lah-di-dah and basically stuck up. I was told I looked beautiful in things I knew looked awful (like a godawful mermaid number which  hugged my ample behind more than I liked). I ditched the shop after the first dress.


The second shop we saw that afternoon was actually really nice, and the Russian lady who ran it was happy to give me her honest opinion on how things looked on me. It was her, actually, who begged me to try on something which was totally not in my brief but she thought would look great – so I did, and I fell for it. I had had NO idea I would want a dress like that – I’d thought I wanted lace!


But that was where Nightmare Mother ™ came in. ‘Oh you must have a veil’ ‘oh you don’t need that, you want this’ ‘the veil needs to be very long and sparkly’. 


Anyone who knows me knows I never wanted a veil. My Maid/Matron of Honor laughed when I told her about it. But I felt so harassed, and frankly very aware that the dress (and veil, yes I caved and regretted it constantly ever since) was being paid for by money from my late sister’s estate that my mum was in control of. 


If there’s anything I regret, it was not being honest with her then and there. The veil has since been sold on to a bride who was desperate for one, and I have the dress I loved without the awful accompaniments (helped somewhat by the fact that my parents aren’t attending the wedding so I don’t have to worry about offending them…). Then there was a massive row with my Fiance who was upset that I let my mum pay for the dress (and wouldn’t tell him how much it cost) that really ruined the whole experience for me.


So yeah, I know EXACTLY what it’s like! Bullet points for new dress shoppers:


1) Be COMPLETELY honest. Don’t worry about offending people, this is YOUR wedding.

2) Be prepared to be flexible and try on other dresses from your narrow brief (if you have one)

3) Know who is paying and iron it all out beforehand. With everybody.

Post # 5
2640 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@RunningSphynx:  I went with Fi first time. It was accidental. I was on holidays in London so he was the only one available!! I was delighted in the endbecause I really value his opinion. When I went back with family they looked at me in the dreand that I had chosen and started offering suggestions to change it! I was so confused.., it was all sorted on a subsequent outing but for a long time I didn’t know if they even liked the dress!! To be honest I didn’t care because I loved it. Sounds like a major part of the problem you have is the shop and the assistant. If I were you I’d do some online research bearing in mind the parts of you you like and the styles you normally like. Also, research stores and call them to get a feel for how they treat customers. That might make your next trip more comfortable. Good luck ๐Ÿ™‚


Post # 6
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Ontario, Canada

First of all hugs!! I’m so sorry about your mum and you having to go through a horrid first time. I do want to tell you tht it gets better though, trust me. I live abroad from my family so they could not join me so for my first appointment I brought my bridesmaid with me. I was super nervous and felt really out of place. it was about 14 months before my wedding and to start with the receptionist was all “oh you have LOADS of time then” in a “OMG why are you here so early” kind of tone. The consultant then tells me that all their samples are a size UK 10 (US 6) so we’ll see how they look on me (I’m a size 8 so not larger it’s a huge difference) and then kept giving digs about how dresses will look different on someone of my size than on models and to keep that in mind. it was awful and left a really bad taste in my mouth. I decided that I certainly didn’t want to spend ANY money there. I then found another store and actually went by myself as I thought it has to be better elsewhere and they were wonderful and I found my (perfect) dress there. I have since been back twice, once with my family and once with my Future Mother-In-Law and bridesmaid and everyone on staff have been fantastic. 

Dont give up, put the experience in the padt and just go with your gut and find somewhere else that suits you and your personality where they will make you feel comfortable. it is out there and I think it’s so important. 

Post # 7
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I don’t have any advice, I just wanted to say I’m sorry it turned out like that for you!  It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now.  If you want, you could always go alone and then take photos to show your mother and sisters . . . and us! if you want some additional opinions or encouragement.

Post # 8
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@RunningSphynx:  first of all, hug, I went 1st dress shopping with my Fi, he waited outside because we engaged but didn’t announce to anyone yet. I didn’t have any high hope just wanted to try some dresses to see how I look, but I pointed the sales assistant the dresses I want to try on, and I never let any sales assistant to choose a dress for me, lol, because I dont trust them that they wont have incentive to push the sales in expensive dresses that I wont be able to afford. Later on I went with my younger sister but she has different taste in clothes than me completely so her job is only to take pictures – I actually like this and not taking anyone dress shopping because I dont want distraction. I would say takes lots of pictures and asking other bees opinions – I found it’s great idea making sure that I wont or I hope I wont have dress regret later on (if they dont allow just sneaking with your phone in the dressing room) and compare them later on, and do lots of research- I found looking at real brides’ pictures in this forum are a great resource , especially from brides have similar interest and similar body to me. I’m sure you will find some dresses that flatter your figure. 

Post # 9
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013


My first dress shopping experience was similarly from hell. It was during a trunk show, my consultant was trying to help 3 other people despite an appointment, she didn’t listen to my likes and told me I looked great in dresses that looked horrible 

Oh – and only my mother was around, my mother was more interested in talking with other moms – and didn’t really care how I looked. 



The way I changed it was I made another day of 2 appointments well in advanced. Asked certain ppl to be there with me and stressed why having them there was important (only my mother came, again – but atleast she was more attentive). 

I had a young consultant who I openly told my fears (“I’m not the smallest girl in the world at a jean size 10-12) and I wantd something that would flatter me above all else. 

Ultimately the dress I just had my first fitting in today was a dres smy mother pulled – she just had a good eye for what works 





Post # 10
6 posts
  • Wedding: September 2013

Aww!  I’m sorry to hear you had a bad first experience.  I don’t have much advice but I just wanted to chime in that they are totally not all like that.  You just got bad luck with a consultant and next time will be better!  I went to 4 different shops (so far haha) and there were varying degrees of helpfulness – maybe see if you can schedule it to have your sisters come with next time.  

Post # 11
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@RunningSphynx:  My first time was pretty bad… David’s Bridal. They didn’t listen to anything I said I wanted in a dress, but I found one I sorta liked. But I went back a couple more times (each time was awful in its own way… one consultant even made me feel like a cow, which was humiliating and embarassing beyond belief).

When I’d finally narrowed it down to a few dresses I liked but couldn’t decide between (none of them made me feel special, but I had just accepted that I was never going to feel that way about any dress, and by that point I just wanted dress shopping to be OVER with..).  I scheduled a “final” appointment and invited my bridesmaids, my aunts, and fiance’s aunt, because I wanted everyone’s input on my final decision.

Shortly before that final appointment, my aunt and I had a hugeeee falling out, and so the day of the appointment was soo unbelievably awkward and uncomfortable. She still showed up (not even sure why really), but barely looked at me (was glued to her phone instead), and left early, then called my other aunt and made HER leave early. So I was left with my fiance’s aunt (I love her so much!) and my friends, and I was just so sad that all of my own family just abandoned me… so I just picked a dress at random because I just wanted to get the hell out of there, and curl up and die.

Oh, on top of that, the aunt I was initially fighting with, before she left, she pointed out that a strapless dress is probably not great for me because I have scarring on my back/shoulders, so I should probably reconsider all of my choices.

YAY for feeling hideously ugly and totally abandoned.


I put everything wedding-related on hold after that (the fight with my aunt went much deeper than just dress shopping… it ripped my whole family apart, and caused so much heartache and drama and pain).


MONTHS later, I decided to stop in a little bridal shop near me… the woman was SO sweet and SO kind, and picked out beautiful dresses that were totally me, and the first one I put on was by Maggie Sottero, and it made me feel BEAUTIFUL. I tried a couple more Maggie dresses, felt beautiful in all of them, and knew I had to go with Maggie… I narrowed it down to two I liked, and this time, I brought my Dad to come see me in them and help me decide. I went with Maggie’s Jessie because my dad loved it as much as I did. ๐Ÿ™‚


Things work out, even if the first time wasn’t great… you’ll find something that makes you glow! ๐Ÿ™‚

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