First FIL and now SIL…

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

You have gone out of your way for this girl.  Sorry but I’d call her and tell her straight up , pink dress or no dress.  Give her an exact deadline (blame it ok printing program or something)  if she doesnt have a link dress by whatever date she’s out. I would definitely call though bc then there isn’t a paper trail…, she doesn’t sound very nice to me.  It sounds like she is extremely jealous and quite selfish.  

Post # 4
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@octoberbaby:  At this point, she is not being a team player. I’m sorry but as the PP said, she needs to find a dress by a certain date and if not she is not a BM. Go back to the original dress you wanted and have the wedding YOU want.

Post # 5
Member
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

@MrsOrange:  +1

DO NOT GIVE IN TO HER DEMANDS.

If she really can’t find a pink dress, point her in the direction of the original gray one.

Post # 7
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@octoberbaby:  If she can’t find a dress have your two sisters up there in matching dresses (the original one) and let her be there in her Navy dress.

Post # 8
Member
1112 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You told her it’s ok? Oh hunny *hugs*

I wouldn’t even have her up there…. she clearly doesn’t want to be a BM….

Post # 9
Member
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Why dont you search for light pink dresses and send to her? Maybe you can help find something similar to the navy dress she sent?

This is definitely not normal… especially her asking for colors other than the one you suggested. She should have just gone with the dress you picked in the first place and there would be nothing to be concerned about. I prefer the bride to choose the dress for me to wear…

Post # 10
Member
7286 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

She attends as a guest. The end. 

Post # 11
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

You’ve been more than nice to her. She’s the problem. Dress by deadline in your colors or no BM.

Post # 12
Member
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

It would never occur to me to challenge the bride’s decision on what to wear. If a bride wanted something specific, I would either do it (it’s ONE day at a wedding that I have to wear it) or I wouldn’t be the bridesmaid. I wouldn’t sit and have ridiculous conversations like these, demanding the bride meet my whims, then never following through on getting what I’m supposed to. The lack of etiquette some folks demonstrate is both appalling and amazing.

Unless a bride were asking me to wear something where everything I have is hanging out, I’d shut my mouth and go with it. Even if I thought it made me look fat. Unflattering. Whatever.

If your wedding is really September 1st, unfortunately your hand is forced. I wouldn’t engage her in the power struggle of, “Do it or you don’t be my bridesmaid!” Then you welcome a shitstorm at your doorstep just 3 weeks before your wedding and risk alienating all of your in-laws. She’s being absurd. But you also have to pick your battles – people will glance at her dress, find it odd that she doesn’t match your sisters, and move on. Or maybe they’ll just think you were trying to distinguish the two sides of the family. At the end of the day, it will be a mild nuisance that is quickly forgotten.

Clinging to the situation is only going to cause you more stress right before your wedding. Don’t let her have power over you. You do indicate she’s been nice in the past, so hopefully this is not a matter of course.

This woman stands to be your sister-in-law forever. The wedding’s for a day. I don’t advocate being a doormat, but this is a situation where an eyeroll and a sigh are your best methods of tolerating it.

Post # 13
Member
7286 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@CookieCreamCakes:  I don’t advocate being a doormat, but this is a situation where an eyeroll and a sigh are your best methods of tolerating it.

That really is the mature thing to do. Needless to say, I couldn’t do that LOL. Not after already accomodating her ridiculous back talk about the color of the dress. OP should have told her to kick rocks from them. At least that way she would have at least still her vision for BMs intact. Now she doesn’t and she has see another dress/color AGAIN. Hell no. Getting the dress is the #1 requirement of being a BM. If you can’t do that, clearly you have issues. 

 

 

 

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