Post # 1
Well Bee’s, I honestly thought (stupidly, I am seeing now), that I would get by with no guest list drama.
However, I just spoke to my aunt, who has informed me that my uncle will be losing his license for a DUI just before my wedding, and therefore my cousin and his girlfriend (her kids had not been invited, since I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve seen them in the last 10 years) will be driving them down. She has asked if they can attend just the ceremony, and then maybe the dancing part of the reception…. she says they can disappear for the dinner.
Well, I just think it would be incredibly rude of me to say, ok, out of all the guests, you two are the only ones who can’t have dinner, so I guess I am going to have to let them attend the wedding now. I just feel bad because she has two other sons, who are NOT invited. The younger one probably won’t care, he barely remembers me. The oldest one is the one I am worried of offending. However, I just can’t afford to keep adding people to our list. She says it’s not a problem, he will understand, but I still can’t help but feel bad.
I guess this more a vent than anything, but if you all have any ideas or comments, please feel free to share!!
Post # 3
@Baroness_Meg: …does she not drive? could they carpool with someone already invited? take a train? bus? etc.
i feel for you, it’s gracious of you to extend them an invite – lots of people (maybe even myself) would not. they would consider their transportation their business that has no bearing on the guest list.
so kudos to you – but i think the aunt was in the wrong to even advise you of this – her husband’s dui and their subsequent transport issues are not your issue and to ask for two invitations on behalf of her transportation is unfair to you.
Post # 4
@peonyinlove: No she doesn’t drive, unfortunately, and she lives in area that none of the other guests do, so there is no way she can car pool with someone else.
Now I am also worried about my uncle drinking too much and making ass out of himself at my wedding, I really hope he can be on his best behaviour. I don’t have a ton of interaction with this side of the family, so if he causes a scene or gets totally wasted at my wedding, I think that will be the last of our interactions. 🙁
Post # 5
Why can’t your aunt drive? I don’t think this should be your problem.
Post # 6
@ElbieKay: Not having a license seems to be a theme in my family LOL. I don’t, my mom doesn’t and neither does she.
I know it shouldn’t really be my problem, but she kind of made it mine when she came to me with this… and I just can’t find it in me to be that girl who says, sorry, no. They can’t come at all, and therefore I guess you can’t either 🙁
Post # 7
@Baroness_Meg: I also don’t think this is your problem. They can take the bus, come the day before, stay overnight, whatever they need to do.
Post # 8
is there a way that she could take a bus to the general area and have someone pick her up?
how far does she live from where the wedding is? could you have a trusted family member go pick her up a few days prior to the wedding?
@ElbieKay: not everyone drives. it could be a medical reason, or a personal choice. i know plenty of people who don’t drive, for either health reasons or personal reasons. just saying.
Post # 9
fuck i would say “sure they can come to the ceremony and dancing if you would like”
Just because she doesnt drive does NOT mean you need to be forced into paying for her kid and his gf to come for the meal.
I dont understand the audacity of some poeple. Like. if i were her i wouldn’t even mention it to you and would just have my kid drop me off.
Post # 10
If I were in the situation that your uncle is in, I would just say I was unable to attend. If you can’t go without inviting other people, then you don’t go. They are the ones being rude and I would tell them that you won;t have enough seats or something.
Post # 11
@lampshade: “If I were in the situation that your uncle is in, I would just say I was unable to attend. If you can’t go without inviting other people, then you don’t go. They are the ones being rude“
@Baroness_Meg: “Well, I just think it would be incredibly rude of me to say, ok, out of all the guests, you two are the only ones who can’t have dinner, so I guess I am going to have to let them attend the wedding now.“
Uh, no. You don’t have to invite them. This is your Aunts problem. Not yours. She is being rude, inviting two other people to your ceremony and then the dancing at your reception. Telling her no isn’t rude in the slightest!
Post # 12
Thanks everyone for your support! I talked with FI, and we’ve agreed that since it’s family, we will let it go. If it was just a friend, it would be a different story. I just wish she hadn’t put me on the spot