Weddingbee boards

First of all, relax! You're marrying someone you hopefully trust more than anyone else, and he is going to do all he can to make you feel comfortable and loved. Don't waste brain space worrying about if you look sexy enough or too sexy - he's going to be really focused on what's ahead and will think you're beautiful no matter what.

We were virgins too on our wedding night. I wasn't nervous about it at all until we actually got to the wedding night, and then I felt awkward. But my husband was so sweet and calming - we took our time getting to the sex part, and he made me feel comfortable and safe. I think the most important part for me was that he didn't rush me and we took as much time as we needed. Just make sure you communicate with your husband if you're feeling nervous or need to slow down.

Feel free to PM me if you want more advice! It would have been helpful for someone to tell me what to expect, so I'm happy to pass that on.

While I'm not in your position, I would try not to worry about it. I think the main thing is not to build up any expectations. I hear a lot of people are too exhausted, or too nervous to do anything that night anyway.

You can certainly slip in the bathroom to change into something to make yourself more comfortable. I've read other bees say after the wedding, they were sweaty and gross (heavy dress) so wanted a shower anyway. If you do wear lingerie, I'd go with something simple like a slip or those fly-away slips that tie at the chest, instead of something complicated, like a corset. It might make you more comfortable, and it will be easier to figure out.

My first time was with a boyfriend who was also a virgin. We built up to it over several months of doing other stuff. I really liked that. Getting to know eachother's bodies and likes and dislikes and explore without jumping right in. Depending on your experience levels and wishes, this could be an option.

The longer you guys do some kind of foreplay (kissing even), the better it will be for you. I think that's why most people don't like their first time - guys finish quickly and, if it's rushed, the girls aren't 'prepped.'

Last tip: keep your sense of humor. Sex is funny - and fun. And laughing together is always a good thing.

Are you a Christian or just waiting? If you don't mind me asking? I think waiting is good and I am Christian and I am looking forward to being with my FH. If it's awkard first couple times..so be it..we'll have all our lives together to get cozy! And so will you!:)

I didn't read any of those posts so forgive me if I repeat a lot. I'm self conscious to kiss in front of everyone after we are announced husband and wife, I'll keep it quick but sweet. As for the wedding night, light lots of candles, everyone looks amazing in candle light. Regardless, he will think you are beautiful. My best friend who got married a few months ago said her wedding night lingerie was a waste because her husband just tore it off so I'm not even considering buying anything. Well, maybe something nicer but also something I could wear again. Another friend of mine said her wedding night wasn't great because she tripped on the stairs in her heels and twisted her ankle and her husband was so drunk he couldn't get it up.I can't help but laugh every time I think of that story.

Remember, there will be sounds during sex but put some soft music on and you'll feel more relaxed. Use lube just in case. Make sure you make encouraging noises or he will think he is not doing it right.

Congratulations on waiting! It's going to be *amazing*!! We waited, too. On our wedding night, I just stepped into the restroom to change and prep, though DH did have to help me out of my dress :)

It's going to be wonderful because it's the two of you. It might be emotional, it might not feel amazing physically at first, but you will have such a great time with it together. Just take it slow, be communicative, and don't be afraid to feel a little silly or awkward. Don't have specific expectations, just let things happen-if you don't want him to see you completely at first, maybe get under the covers. I'm excited for you! (haha sorry if that's weird!)

I wasn't in your situation, but after our reception we went to our hotel.  I was super sweaty and hot from my dress so I took a shower - I washed my hair because there was so much hairspray in it i knew it would be a tangled mess in the morning if I didnt wash it and brush it out.  I didn't blow dry or style it or anything.  Then I put on some lingerie and came out of the bathroom and suprised my new husband.

I would say dont feel pressured to actually have sex on the wedding night.  If you feel more comfortable doing "other stuff" with him that night, you have the whole honeymoon and the rest of your lives to have sex.  I have plenty of friends who went to their hotel rooms and passed out from exhaustion.

@KLP2010: I agree with Aubergold, loved your response!

Hi! I know I'm about 3 weeks late on this, but considering you have until June, hopefully this will still be in time! : )

My DH and I waited for our honeymoon night.  (It wasn't our first kiss) First of all, let me say, GREAT JOB! That is something to be proud of, and really doesn't happen all that much anymore.  Great job!

When my DH and I got engaged, I started to think about our wedding night.  What would I wear, would it be at our new home or a hotel, etc. etc.  I had come up with all these ideas - we'll go to our new home, he'll help me take my dress off and we'll go from there.  Beautiful, right?  Well, thankfully I had some other Christian women in my life to help me make a little more sense of something I didn't quite get.  Hopefully this board will help you as much as those women helped me.

First of all, I would say that at some point (maybe not yet, unless you want to), you and your FI will have to talk about it.  You want to be on the same page and have the same expectations (or lack of expectations).  Maybe he has something pictured that you hadn't even thought of.

I'm not sure what kind of wedding/reception you are having, but being that your wedding is in June, you'll probably be sweaty.  You'll want to shower and clean up after.  This was something I hadn't thought through until one of my dear friends said, "Don't you want to feel and look beautiful your first time.. not all sweaty and sticky?" Of course, my answer was YES!  So I explained this to my then FI (now Husband).  We chatted about what we would both want, before and after (when we first get home, before the intimacy part, after, etc.)

I'm about to go into some details just for the sake of you being able to hear the whole process. My girlfriends did this with me, and it really helped.  I hope this isn'y TMI for anyone! : ) Here is what we ended up doing/decided to do (just in case it's helpful) - We left the reception as soon as it ended. My sweet family stayed to clean everything. We drove to our home (which the car ride was not at all awkward like I thought it would be. We used this time to talk about the whole day). We got home, unloaded the car, etc. and then split.  I went and took a shower in our bedroom bathroom, and he went and took a shower in the guest bathroom.  When he got done, he came out and finished setting up the bedroom (he had already put rose petals on the steps and leading up to the bedroom, had music playing, had champange on the dresser, etc.) I stayed in the bathroom and got fully ready.  Because I take a long time to shower, blow dry my hair, and flat iron my hair, I didn't do all of this.  Instead, I just put a shower cap over my hair, and washed off my body.  When I got out of the shower, I took my hair out of the updo and fixed it so it was down, loose, and kinda curly.  My make-up was air brushed, so I didn't have a ton to fix, but I did touch it up a bit.  I then put on a "lingerie" outfit.  I went with a very classy and pretty lingerie (white, of course! : )).  After getting ready, I stayed in the bathroom for just a bit cause I struggled opening the door (I knew he'd be sitting there waiting).  That part was awkward. But, I sat in the bathroom and prayed.  The nice thing was that I knew that this was something beautiful to God, and HE had created it to look like that.  I finally opened the door, and there was my DH on our bed, patiently waiting.  I walked out, we sat together and drank a glass of champagne (we aren't drinkers, but liked it for the intimacy). We didn't force anything, but let it happen as it did.  It was perfect! : )

Here are my thoughts/things you may want to know:

1) Talk to your husband before the night of.  Get on the same page and have an idea of what you want. You don't have to go through EVERY detail (cause some of it will change as the night goes on, anyway), but have a general idea.

2) Ask your husband or a friend to come decorate the room to make it special for you.  If you're going to a hotel, they will often do this upon request.

3) Take the extra time to get ready and make yourself look and feel beautiful.  I know it's awkward being in the same home and getting ready for that, but it's so worth it.

4) It will most likely be kinda painful.  It's possible you will bleed, also.  (You may already know this, just don't want anything to alarm you).  Make sure your FI knows this when you chat. Ask him to go slow and listen to you during (to your ouches, etc. so he can learn a slow pace, etc.)

5) It will be awkwardly perfect because it is GOD CREATED! It is beautiful to Him.

6) The first time won't be perfect, but I promise it will get better every time.

7) Don't forget to relax and enjoy it! Take time for everything! Don't rush and "get to it".

I know this is long and detailed, but I know it's what I wanted and needed to know before. Hopefully this will help you some.

PLEASE, feel free to Private Message me if you have questions, etc. And, CONGRATULATIONS!!!

I was raised with the same kind of convictions as you were. At least from my Christian school education.  I waited until I was 20 to do anything with a guy.  My FH was my first for almost everything except my first kiss.  He will be my first and only if I have it my way.

Was I scared? Yes. It wasn't the most pleasant experience the first time. It took several days and tries to get everything running smoothly. But the best part is I was never pressured by him. He waited until I was ready to do anything. He took his time and I never felt more loved and special. He is a patient man and I'm lucky to have him.

The experience may not be all that you hear about your first time, but the love that you feel, if you're like me, makes it worth it.

@maisymay: LOVE what you said! I think it's so beautiful that your hubby found it important that you pray together first! What a great memory to have. 

Great advice girls!

@Miss Galaxy: Congratulations on waiting! That is an incredible accomplishment and God will bless you immensely for your dedication. I'm so excited for you and your new adventure! You're going to have so much fun! And if it's not fun.... calm down, relax, pray, and remember that it's supposed to fun!