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We went through that exact line of thought. And my husband felt particularly strongly that he didn't want to see me until I was coming down the aisle. But in the end we kind of HAD to do a first look or we would not have had any time at all for pics of the two of us, which was important to me. In the end, we were BOTH so glad that we did it. What I don't think I full realized before we did it is that it isn't a good idea JUST for convenience. It was a great idea because we actually got a few minutes (mostly) alone! It was amazing to have the first time he saw me be a private moment between him and I. I really really enjoyed the time we spent together before the ceremony, and it actually made me feel so much calmer all day. How could I be nervous with my almost-husband by my side? Plus just spending more time with him in general on our wedding day was great. I mean you only have ONE wedding day, why wouldn't you want to spend as much time with your husband as possible? Our ceremony wasn't until 4:30 and I'm so glad that I didn't have to go basically all day without seeing him!
I LOVED our first look, I just wish it would have lasted longer than 3 minutes (we were on a tight schedule, hahaha!!!). The main reason why I loved our first look, is becuase it was the only time we were able to be together and alone (aside from the photographer) for the next 14 hours.
Honestly, one of my favourite parts of the day!
I'm so torn on this issue too - have seen so many great points for both, and I hadn't realized how traditional I would feel about some things...we have agreed on first look because the ceremony is not till 6pm(ish) but at the same time...I'm just not sure.
I've wanted one since I first heard the idea. Yet recently, watching some wedding shows I realize I do kind of want that moment when I walk down the aisle...
But I know me/us too well. I get the giggles like MAD when I'm nervous. He doesn't cry and probably won't in front of everyone - but he likely will if we do a first look together, and I want him to be able to experience those emotions. And I really don't want to giggle like a loon walking down the aisle. So we're definitely going for the first look, and I'm sure it'll be marvelous :)
We are doing one... for sure! I love the alone time factor and great pictures (before the tears). Fresh face and full of excitement. I want to share that with him, and I'm glad he wants to share that with me too. He was all for it.
My fiance and I are currently trying to decide how to handle this. We haven't started much planning, so we will discuss the options with our photographer when we get to that point. Did anyone opt not to do the first look? How long did it take to do pictures of just the two of you?
I don't know how practical it would be, but if we decide to do the first look, I'm thinking I could walk down to the aisle to him? That way it has the same effect, but without all the observers. Also, I think I'd want the private moment to be truly private. If it's just us, I would rather it be just us. No photographer. Thoughts?
Didn't regret it at all, but neither of us were all about that "walk down the aisle". But, even though we had spent all day together, the whole ceremony my heart was still fluttering and DH still had to try his hardest to hold back tears.
I don't really see why it's more special to see each other at one time than another. idgi.
We're doing a first look because we want to get the pictures out of the way so we can mingle with guests more, and I think it will be awesome the first time I see my FI on that day, no matter the circumstance. :)
Also, I still think walking down the aisle will be awesome too.
I like the idea, but it's not for us. Maybe I'm weird, but I don't want to look back at my wedding photos and know that we weren't even married in half of them!
I love the idea of a First Look but FI won't even consider it. To the point where he gets angry if I bring it up.
"No! I want my first time seeing you that day to be when you are walking down the aisle!"
Kudos to those of you who did it!!
I'm going to throw it out there: We saved our first look for the walk down the aisle, and it was awesome. I never had, and still don't have, any desire for "first look" photos. I was only nervous for about .2 seconds the entire morning and didn't need to see DH to calm me down...I was just excited, and the anticipation building up to the walk was great. I'm certain we didn't miss out on anything.
You can go either way, and it won't change how special the day is to you. It's not going to change much about your wedding, because it's not that big of a deal! Just go with what feels right for you. :)
@Legallyblondiebride: I am having this very same problem! I always pictured my fiance getting teary seeing me for the first time as I walk down the aisle but as you said it makes SO much more sense for us to do pictures first. Ug!
I think we're going to do a first look...my thing is I have a lot of anxiety issues and am dreading the walk down the aisle. I will be so nervous I'm not even sure I will remember anything. Seeing him first will calm my nerves (because he is the only person who can calm me down), plus he isn't very emotional in front of people so I wouldn't even get a reaction out of him when I walk down the aisle anyway. I would be very surprised if I regret it.
Picture wise, we probably should have done a first look. We we're really rushed and missed out on some things. But do I regret not doing them? No way. He really wanted the first time to be as I was walking down the aisle, and I agreed. His thoughts were similar to JuliePants, he didn't want half of our photos to be of us before we got married. Besides, photo's like these were worth the wait (to us):
After quite a bit of debate, we did the first look and it was amazing! I can't imagine having doing it any other way. I felt like DH and I had really genuine emotional reactions that we would have supressed a little more had it been more public.
We did try to make it a bit walking down the aisle-like though. Our family and bridal party were present and DH stood in place and I walked into the room and towards him.
The walk down the aisle at the church was still great. And, because we had seen each other and most of the photos were out of the way, I really and truly enjoyed the ceremony, remember it all and was very in that moment.
Our first look photo sequence from our photogs blog:
We didn't do a first look, DH was very againts it and I didn't want that either. We did some pics with a door between us and he was at the bottom of the stairs and me at the top. I really wanted that moment of him seeing me for the first time coming down the aisle. I don't remeber much of the day it went by so fast, but I will never forget the huge smile on his face or the tears in his eyes when he saw me walk down the aisle for the first time. Bedies saying I do that was my favorite part of our day.
We had it all set up how our first look was going to go, but the blizzard ruined all our plans... basically my first look wasn't anything like I imagined and all our relatives popped their heads in. I was sooo mad.
We're definitely doing a first look and I simply cannot wait. I'm so excited and think it's very romantic to have that private moment together before the whole shebang begins. Plus I can't wait to see the pictures!
I really wanted to do it but FI said no. It was the one matter regarding the wedding that he was insistent on, so I wasn't going to fight it. We decided to do the cermony offsite at 4:00 (reception is at 6) in order to give ourselves time for photos, this way we can still enjoy the cocktail hour and reception
I'll be honest, I wasn't convinced about the idea of a first look before the wedding. The traditional side of me kind of wanted the first time DH saw me to be when I walked down the aisle. But due to planning and coordinating of the day purposes, I decided it would be better to do a first look, even if it wasn't necessaryily my first choice.
Now, having done it, I am SO GLAD we did a first look. I love our pictures from it and it was so nice to have so quality alone time with DH before the ceremony. It was pretty much the only alone time we got all day so it was really special. Despite having been hesitant about it at first, I'd definitely recommend a first look!
No regrets. It honestly wasn’t as amazing as I thought it was going to be but I blame that on some miscommunications between myself, our DOC and photog. It was nice to get 90% of our pictures out of the way beforehand though. There was no rushing to fit all of the pics into a small time frame and we got to enjoy our cocktail hour with our guests which was really the biggest plus for us.
Neither of us are traditional, but that was one thing we both did not want. We both wanted the first time we saw each other that day to be when I walked down the aisle to meet him. We wouldn't even consider a first-look. I'm glad we didn't, because I still get chills when I think of his smiling face when I walked down the aisle to meet him. It was amazing.
We did a first look and would HIGHLY recommend it. We did it privately. He waited for me under a secluded tree and I walked in. We didn't have anyone else there--the photographer waited outside until we called him in. It was intimate and AMAZING--it made my walk down the aisle that much less stressful and I was able to keep from crying, which was really important to me having spent so much money on make-up and professional pictures. It also allowed him to express how beautiful he thought I looked--he didn't have to keep it in until after the ceremony. Here are some pics of how we did it:
I'm going to meet him under the tree:
We spent some time alone off-camera, then called the photographer in:
My stressless walk down the aisle--I think still as special as it would have been without a first look:
We took a ton of shots with the first look and were therefore able to attend the whole cocktail hour--I didn't want to miss anything. For thosw who don't want to do a first look, I might suggest looking into a day-after photo shoot. That way, you won't miss your whole party because you're taking photos.
Also I'd like to say that seeing you come down the aisle is still special, even if he's spent time with you before the ceremony. I loved my husband's look for both.
This is him when I was coming down the aisle.
@Juliepants: Wow! I never thought of that.
We well, I haven't decided yet. I am struggling between times to start the ceromony 4pm and 5pm. All my venders say 5pm is best for lighting ect but then my videographer said 4pm if not doing a first look 5pm if we are doing a first look.
My FI says he doesn't care either way but I really want our "first look" to be when I'm walking down the aisle. I still don't know what to do and I am pretty much out of time. *sigh*
I think that both a first look and waiting for the aisle can be made special, and it really does depend on the couple (duh, right?). Our venue didn't allow a ceremony until 5:30, so it was important for us to not have our guests waiting between the ceremony and reception, otherwise, we wouldn't be eating until 8pm! But my husband had been in too many wedding parties with endless photos between the two that he was all for a first look. IMO, the look exchanged between a bride and groom when he sees her coming down the aisle is all about the two of them, not the other people, so to me, a "first look" was all the more special, because it was truly just for the two of us (plus photog) and we didn't have to worry about being "on" for the guests. My husband was led down into the vineyard and I walked up behind him and we got to talk, tell each over how great we looked, and have some really great one on one moments that we couldn't have done if we saved it for the aisle and had to move right into the ceremony. Ultimately, I think you won't regret either decision, just weigh your and his personal opinions, think of your guests and a bit about their convenience, your venue(s) and what makes the most sense. Regardless, it will be great!
My cousin did a first look at her wedding. As we were driving in we saw them taking pictures. I don't know, I always love the dramatic moment after the bridal party has gone down the aisle, the doors shut, and then open to see a beautiful bride standing there. The moment was ruined by driving past the picture taking ordeal...
We did one and I'm glad, but I didn't have the heart-ache about doing it that you've had, in fact we were debating between doing a "first look" or just seeing each other when we happened to both arrive, I had to lobby for getting the first look in pictures. I hope you're happy with your decision!
For what it's worth, it was still EXTREMELY special to see my Mr. as I walked down the aisle, and having just spent a couple of hours with him probably helped me not melt into a little puddle.
We did about 1.5/1.75 hours of pictures before the ceremony, then we sort of hung out with our families & friends who were there early for a little while, then I went up to where I was waiting about half an hour before the ceremony and played dominoes with my girlfriends. I have no idea what DH was doing at that time.
As an aside, we were legally married before the ceremony as the judge brought us the paperwork to sign while we were waiting... that also didn't do a dang thing to make the ceremony any less special.
We did a first look and I'm so glad I did. We were able to just hang out and relax together, and we had some unexpected issues that impacted DH, and I was glad I could be there for him.
We did a first look and definitely do not regret it! In fact, they are some of my favorite pictures from that day! We were married on a golf course, so the whole church doors opening and me being able to be hidden away until the ceremony was just not going to happen. Plus, it gave us a special moment just for the 2 of us (and our photographers) away from all the hustle and bustle of the day.
Also, our ceremony was at 4 pm. We were able to do our first look at noon, take pretty much all of our pictures (except family pictures and a few more pictures of the 2 of us *actually married*), and still have time to relax before the ceremony. We were able to spend most of our cocktail hour with our family and friends! Doing a first look allowed us to be more relaxed and have way more wedding photos than had we rushed through everything during the cocktail hour before dinner. We wouldn't have done it any other way!
We did one and have zero regrets. The whole point of the wedding was to celebrate us coming together so we felt like the tradition of staying away from each other all day kind of went against the whole purpose of the day. There was never a doubt in either of our minds that we'd be seeing each other before the wedding and that was even before I found out what a first look was! I totally understand the couples that want to wait until the bride is walking down the aisle, it was just never for us.
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FI and I decided to do a first look. This took A LOT of thought and debate. We both wanted to first see each other walking down the isle, but in the grand-scheme of things it would work so much better for us to do pictures before the ceremony. We don't want to be rushing around during cocktail hour to get everything done, and we want to be relaxed and enjoy ourselves.
I know the pictures will be worth it, but there is still that part of me that wants that moment when I walk down the isle and he sees me for the first time. Ugh, I am so torn. Did any of you bees feel this way? What were your experiences with your first look?