@MlleBrielle: First and foremost-if you have strong feelings against having a religious ceremony- I would be honest and explain to your family you are not comfortable having a catholic wedding.
My FI and I are not holy rollers at all. We have not been to church for a Mass in years..me since I made my confirmation(16yrs old), him since his first communion(6 yrs old) We have been living together for 3 going on 4 years.
My mother works for the Chaplains office at
College. The Catholic Priest she works with offered to marry us. We met him and I was nervous that I was going to be viewed as a sinner who knows nothing about the religion and be viewed in a bad light along with my FI. NOT THE CASE AT ALL! He was very welcoming and happy to know we were so interested in a catholic ceremony. I can’t say that yours will be, but that’s why you meet with them…to see if he is the right fit for who you’re looking for.
1. BE HONEST FROM THE START! If not, you will be uncomfortable including when you say your “I do’s.” We let him know that we have been living together for 3+ years and do not practice our faith regularly. We are spiritual but do not attend mass etc. We informed him we are not comfortable doing a full mass and would like to keep it within 30 minutes.
2. GO IN KNOWING THERE ARE REQUIRMENTS FOR A CATHOLIC CEREMONY: No I’m not talking about knowing versues of the bible or anything of that nature. The ceremony( at least through our preiest) must have 3 readings, 1 prayer and 1 responsive prayer. You can customize your ceremony-choose the readings, the prayers, etc.
3. YOU WILL NOT BE QUIZZED ON YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF THE RELIGION:We were not asked how often we attend church, when the last time it was we went to church, if we pray daily-none of that. They just want to know what your religion is, what your intentions are going into the marriage(do you plan on being faithful and sticking it out through the good and bad) and talk to you about what it is you want for a ceremony.
We took a compatibility test which was really fun-Bubble sheet style! They have different ones(some for couples of different faith, some for couples that were already married before, some for couples who have children already/currently pregnant, and one for us-couples that live together) It was not intrusive. Yes there were questions about sex but they are not intrusive..all were Agree/disagree. And it;s not meant to be like “well you two arent right for eachother” Basically it will be broken down into catagories by a machine and then any category that shows strong indifferences, he will go over with you just to give advice on talking that subject over so you are on the same page. We loved it. Some of the questions were hysterical and we were joking with our Priest and he agreed that they were corky.
Anyways…it’s nothing to stress over..trust me..once we left I was like wow..that was fun! ahaha