(Closed) First meeting with officiant tomorrow…what should we ask

posted 9 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I think it’s a good idea to ask if there are things he requires that you do, and things that he absolutely won’t do. In a recent meeting our officiant offhandedly said that she would never ask "who gives this woman". I would never want that to be part of my ceremony, but I was still surprised by her comment. You definitely want to make sure the officiant is willing to do everything that you think is important in the ceremony. And on the flip side, you should make sure he doesn’t require certain elements that would make you and your fiance uncomfortable.

 

Post # 5
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

I just wanted to say that we’re meeting with our officiant for the first time today!

Post # 6
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Yeah I agree… ask about their openness in the "script" (for lack of a better term). You may also want to see if they will be doing their own speaking (for example, a Catholic priest will often say a homily) and if you will be able to hear/see what they plan to say before (if you prefer).

Post # 8
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2009

My uncle is our officiant and on the transcript of the wedding, it does say "who gives this woman to be married" and I hope he doesn’t get offended but I do not really want that asked either.  My parents are great but it’s true.. we are giving ourselves to one another… 

I would definitely ask if they can give you a sample transcript of the wedding wordings they use so you can look it over.  Just a suggestion!

 Good luck! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Oh, and duh… you already met them.  I’m late!  But you could still ask for that if you wanted ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 10
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

Yeah, how did it go.  Ours was great and I got surprisingly little push-back on all of our ideas.  The one thing I’m still stuck on is how to announce us since I’m not taking his last name.

Post # 13
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

Yeah, I was totally stunned by the binder full of vows, pledges, and other assorted readings.  It was a little overwhelming!   Luckily we had a little idea and he knew what we were talking about…

Post # 14
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Just make sure you ask him what his style is. It turned out that our officiant is really cool and laid back. He gave us a binder full of wedding scripts so we could piece our ceremony together. I found bits and pieces from various ceremonies that I wanted him to say verbatim…I was thinking this in my head. And then he said, "You know, I had a couple write up every single thing they wanted me to say, right down to the dramatic pauses. It drove me crazy!" So I think I will just give him the list of things I like and let him craft it to his style. I want him to be comfortable, also. I definitely think the ceremony will flow better if it’s catered to us and the officiant’s style. Good luck! Don’t be afraid to ask him questions! We were actually surprised that he asked us so many questions! I was super nervous, but it turned out fine in the end. Good luck!

Oh, I see I’m too late to give advice! LOL. Glad it went well!

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