Post # 1
We’re not TTC just yet, but it will be our first! I’ve had a bad case of baby rabies lately so all I can think about are babies and pregnancy.
I decided long ago that I want to be Team Green and I think Darling Husband is on board. I heard someone described the feeling as like being a kid on Christmas morning, so excited to open your presents and see what you got, and your only opportunity for “that feeling” as an adult is being Team Green for a baby! Totally agreed.
.. but I’m worried that it’ll cause too much chaos after birth, having to return certain items that were gender-specific that you no longer need, especially since it’ll be our first. Any first time (or any time) moms-to-be that are Team Green and can offer any insight? Do you include the fact you’re not finding out the gender on your shower invitations?
Post # 3
@MrsTillerResq: I’m a first time mom-to-be and I’m Team Green. I think the really hard part is not being able to buy certain clothes until you know what gender you will have. I plan to get a lot onesies and clothes that I would put on either a boy or a girl. For the shower, I’ve already told my sister that they should put that we will not be finding out the gender on the invitation so that hopefully no one will buy clothes. If they do, I am considering returning the clothes early to get a gift card instead. For the rest of the gear, if you are planning on having more than one child, you would want gender neutral stuff anyway so that it can be used again. I’ve seen a lot of gender neutral nurseries that are adorable so I’m not worried about that either. I think we’re going to go with an animal theme.
Post # 4
I’m not a parent, but how many clothes does a kid need to wear before your husband can go to Babies-R-Us and buy a bunch of pink or blue onesies? You can find enough frogs and ducks to get you through a couple weeks, then your parents will flood you with pink and blue stuff, and when your husband goes to get your take-out he can go pick up some baby clothes.
My asisstant’s baby shower invite had a really cute poem – something like “ten fingers, ten toes, pink or blue, no one knows” so people would get the idea and not call her mom asking if it was a boy or girl.
Toys are gender neutral, and you can find plenty of carseats and strollers that are, too. You’ll want to re-use that stuff or give it to you SIL or BFF when she has a baby, anyway, right?
Post # 5
I’m newly pregnant, and wavering on whether to be Team Green. I always thought I would, but now my husband is leaning towards finding out, so I’m starting to waver. But when he makes the argument that it’s so much easier to plan when you know what you’re having, I just keep reminding him that many generations before us survived just fine not having the technology to find out what they were having before the baby was born.
Post # 6
I was team green and now have an almost 4 week old baby boy. I didn’t find it difficult in terms of logistics, it was harder to go to ultrasounds and not find out when the techs asked if we wanted to know haha.
We put a note on our babies r us registry asking for items to be purchased in gender neutral colours (some items automatically come up as blue or pink when you scan them because their system is flawed). We had our shower 5 weeks before my due date so Darling Husband and I went and exchanged everything that was purchased in error in one gender colour or another but really, there wasn’t much to exchange or return, most people were respectful of the fact that we hadn’t found out the gender and any of the clothes we got was neutral. The best part about team green is people buy you items you NEED vs cute outfits for your shower.
As for clothes, I bought some gender neutral stuff to get us started and also got hand me downs from my SIL who was also team green for both her babies. She happened to have a girl and a boy, both in the same season as our little guy so once we knew it was a boy she gave us a ton of hand me down boy clothes. I was worried about not having enough clothes for him at first but they live in sleepers the first little bit so you’ll have time to go out and get the things you need.
Being team green, although hard at times because you so badly want to know what you’re carrying, was AMAZING! The moment they announced he was a little boy was totally surreal and I would never trade that feeling. It’s worth the agony of waiting 9 months for it! I was also worried about bonding with baby, but the second he was born it was an instant unbreakable bond.
Post # 7
@LoveMikey: I’ve always not wanted to know if I got pregnant. My husband HAS TO KNOW. I’m working on my arguements, but I’ll probably just cave, since it seems like a really big deal to him. Doesn’t help that my brother just had a baby (knew it was a girl) and his brother is going to have a baby and of course is going to find out.
Post # 8
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@MrsTillerResq: It’s easy to avoid buying/receiving gender specific items before the baby is born. Do a gender neutral nursery (i.e. zoo animals or light yellow or green and you can add pops of blue or pink later.) Register for gender neutral clothing (white, yellow or green gowns and onesies will work on boys or girls.) Again, you can get pink or blue items after the baby is born. It’s not like the baby is going to pop out and demand pink dresses or blue sports bibs.
Post # 9
@MrsSawyer: I do worry about the bonding, and that is one of the reasons I’m allowing myself to waver. I’ve always pictured myself with a houseful of boys, so if I had a girl, I feel like I might benefit from knowing ahead of time to sort of “get used to” the idea. But at the same time, my previous argument still stands: For generations before us, women who pictured having one gender or the other – and had the opposite – bonded just fine with their babies and loved them as much as could be. So I just don’t know!
@almostmrsj: Ugh, yeah, everyone we know has found out too. Definitely doesn’t help.
Post # 10
@LoveMikey: Honestly, I was leaning towards wanting a girl and I wavered a bit because I thought knowing one way or another would make me feel better and be able to stop looking at cute dresses if I was going to have a boy but ultimately decided it didn’t matter and that I would hold out (DH was a huge convincing factor here because he REALLY didn’t want to know and I didn’t want to take away the whole “it’s a …” moment for him). Turns out it didn’t matter, the second they said it’s a boy I forgot I ever wanted a girl. Plus I had a feeling he was a boy all along. But I can say from experience, the second your baby is born you won’t care either way 🙂
Having said all that, I’m not sure if I would go team green for #2. I loved it, but part of me wants to experience knowing in advance too. We’ll see how I feel when the time comes I guess!
Post # 11
+1 to everything PP have said! We are team green and fighting the curiosity is definitely more difficult than the planning. If you haven’t yet, read @MrsSawyer‘s birth story: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/baby-sawyers-birth-story-very-long-sorry-ladies#axzz2ZPTTVvO5. Whenever I start to waver, I think about that moment after the birth when I meet LO for the first time. How amazing to be able to tell everyone you love at the same time?! Not to mention, we’re having a baby in MN in November so no matter what, LO will not be in cute clothes – just warm clothes!!!
Post # 12
We are team green, due with our first in Nov like @traceyjoy: 🙂 We have actually found it really easy to keep everything neutral. Our bedding is neutral, and we only registered for things we “need” vs things in pink or blue or lots of clothes. We scanned some onesies in white and have picked up a few neutral things along the way but nothing crazy. I know we will be spoiled with all the gender specific clothes after the baby is born, so we are just making sure we have a bunch of neutral outfits to get us through the first little while. We haven’t had any troubles finding the big things in neutral colours (strollers, pack and plays, playmats, bedding, decor, bibs etc) and I am glad we won’t have a ton of pink or blue kicking around, in case we have a baby of the opposite gender for baby #2!
I honestly can’t wait for the moment they tell us if this is a little boy or girl. Neither of us has even been very tempted at ultrasounds to “peek” or waivered when asked. I think there are so few surprises in life, we’re just happy to know we have a healthy baby coming and the rest are just details.
I have found it really easy so far, and we will just return anything in pink/blue for gift cards or exchange for neutral items if we receive any at the shower. 🙂
Post # 13
I’m not team green, but something to think about is how many kids to you plan to have? are you going team green for the fact that you can use the stuff for kids multiple times, or are you going team green because you just want to know after the birth you want it to be a suprise?
Car seats have a saftey expiration for when they’re considered no longer safe. I think some other big gear might as well… or just the fact that things are changing so much… you may want to upgrade to the new latest and greatest item. But if you plan to have a few years in between children, some of your big gear is likely to “expire” and you’ll need new stuff anyway. Also, are you going to be willing to store it that long if you’re waiting for a long time?
just some other aspects to think about!
Post # 14
@gpsp2B: The car seat point is legit, but I wouldn’t worry about the other stuff. I don’t think most parents would really feel they need the latest model crib/high chair/stroller/playpen/etc. if they have a perfectly good one that just happens to be a few years old.
Plus, in most circles, you don’t have a baby shower for every single pregnancy (at least not one where people are willing to spring for bigger-ticket gifts like they do for the first one). If anyone really wants to upgrade all that stuff for a future child, they are probably mostly going to be on their own to do so.
Post # 15
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
It’s not any more difficult to have a gender-neutral plan than it is to have a gender-biased one. I did not want to know when I was pregnant with DS because it really didn’t matter. Either way it was my baby, and that was that. I packed an all white outfit for my baby to come home in, the nursery bedding was classic Winnie the Poo, and I had tons of yellow/white/green clothing to keep bebe warm. The only thing that would have changed if I had known ahead of time was that my Mother would have spent even more money buying gender-biased stuff.
Post # 16
@KCKnd2: maybe for you. but for some people it matters… its just a point to think about for the OP.. you don’t have to argue that most people wouldn’t care. you don’t know that. its not like im saying boo team green. Just giving the OP some things to think about that we thought about.
ETA: I don’t plan on getting the big ticket items at our baby shower. my Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law are spliting the crib cost. She bought us a pack n play as an early mothers day gift…. I would never expect our families to buy the big expensive stuff for our baby. Though some parents I think tend to offer, I would never register for it. But I find it unproductive for you to argue points I was making for the OP. They’re simply things to think about. Aside from “latest and greatest” safety standards change so much because everyone is getting a lawsuit from SIDS or an accidental death. In an case, some people are trendy and like to have the latest and greatest or what have you. And perhaps if OP is one of those people, it was something she hadn’t thought about. I’m simply giving out things that crossed our mind when deciding it was worth it. It’s not for you to say that those questions are not legit.