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I am! I don't think my experience is anything out of the ordinary for most brides though. Wedding planning can be stressful and often becomes like a second job, depending on how much research or planning you do. I don't really have any gold nuggets of info for you but just wanted to say that I'm in that boat with you.
P.S. CassidyR What have you learned along the way so far?
I'm not the first amongst my friends, but theirs were all a few years ago, when I was nowhere near the wedding headspace. I didn't know anything about weddings to appreciate all the details, let alone remember it now to inspire me!
I'm not the first but the first is only several months before mine. So were all kind of struggling to plan without leaning too much on each other so that we don't accidentally copy or try to insert our ideas when its not exactly necessary. Believe me it is tough!
All the weddings I've been to before was either as a plus 1 or family weddings.
I'm in the same boat...first of my close friends and I've never been in a wedding before. I'm just calling and talking to everyone I know who recently got marries. My mom is a teacher so she is asking all the younger teachers that either just got married or are engaged and so far I've had two binders of information passed onto me! It's helped A TON especially with their advice on vendors etc and the vendors tend to jump on the opportunity to have a bride that doesn't know exactly waht she wants so they can be creative!
Good luck!!
I was the first, and it was kind of nice, since people hadn't "been there" before, they didn't really feel the need to input all of their ideas into our wedding. I think it would have been nice to see some things in action, but a lot of the things that I did, no one had even heard of, so I don't know how much inspiration I would have had
I'm in the same boat! My brother and future SIL (both much older) are not married. All of our friends are not married (with the exception of my MOH, who didn't really have a wedding, just a quick, small ceremony) so I'm going through all of this with NO IDEA what I'm doing except what I think is supposed to happen based on stories, movies, etc. In fact, my wedding will be my first official wedding!
What's frustrating, is that means I have people "telling me what to do" based on their "experience"-- as attendants or guests at other weddings. My advice, don't listen! Take their advice in to consideration because that is what is "traditionally done" and even google some stuff as well, but definitely do what you want to do!
Other thing I've learned: yes, it's my wedding day, but to some people it's just a reminder that it's not theirs. It's made me have to be a little bit less excited at certain points, but it's important to surround yourself with people who have their head on straight because you don't want to be around someone who feels that this is just a reminder that they don't have a man and therefore need a drink. Maybe a guest is understandable, but keep this in mind with those closer to you and maybe schedule a lot of NWR talk and events around the WR talk and events.
I am, too. My friends and I are just going with the flow. :) I turn to the hive when I don't know or understand something.
DH was the first in his core group of friends (including his 5 groomsmen) to get married...and he's 28!
I am the first of my friends too (but since I wil be getting married at 21, its not much of a surprise). I am getting "experience" from watching wedding shows on tv and talking to my mom and stuff.
I don't really have that many close close friends anymore but out of the close ones I'll probably be the first. But out of the ones I could consider friends from high school, quite a few have already married and had children.
It's kind of weird too since my boyfriend and I have been together since we were sophmores in high school and everyone assumes we're already married.
I'm the first of my friends, but among the last of FI's friends. A few of my BMs have never even been to a wedding before! Its been sorta fun figuring it out for ourselves.
Yup, I am. Its kind of awkward sometimes because none of my girls understand my excitement. And I am always catious of talking about the wedding with them because I don't want for them to feel bombarded.
I'm the 2nd of my group of friends, and the girl who did get married just did so a couple weeks ago. So I've definitely been asking her for advice and such. And it's nice now that our friends have all done it before, everyone's like, "Yea don't worry, we know what to do" LOL.
I actually hope this keeps going and we can keep staying in wedding mode! One of our other girlfriends just told us her boyfriend hinted at her to start looking at rings...so it's exciting!
I'm definitely not one of the first to get married, actually everyone in our bridal party is married except for one bridesmaid who is divorced, but I did want to pass on a bit of advice. Please let your bridal party know what to expect ahead of time, I know I look back on my first wedding as a bridesmaid and I pretty much had no idea what I was supposed to do! It was a bridesmaid fail.
I am one of the first. I have had 3 close friends get married in the past 2 years, and one of their weddings I had to miss.
It's funny that I am one of the first. I was basically single my whole life with one short relationship before FI. I was ready to embrace spinsterhood and get a bunch of cats before Fi came along! :)
I have only been to 2 weddings in my life, the 1st being my aunt's when I was about 7 years old and the 2nd being her son's this last summer. Both were very different and I only got to see the final result and not really get to follow the planning process. Everything has basically been just hit and miss for me so far (a lot more misses than hits) but it has definitely been a great learning experience. I am excited for it! Like you, I'm the first out of my group to even be in a relationship long enough to get engaged. It's exciting but at the same time it's a little scary. My friends have been supportive about the whole thing, but they are just as lost as I am. Maybe seek advice from family who have been in the same boat? Keep in mind that you don't have to accept all their suggestions though. Ultimately everything is still up to you.
i'm the first one of my friends to get engaged and maybe married. but i got engaged about 8 months after my older sister and she keeps saying that if i get married before her all hell would break loose....great :(
I am the first one to be engaged from my group of friends and possibly be married before them. The good thing about being the first one to get married is that they are all excited about my wedding and willing to help. My closest friends are my bridemaids. I am the youngest girl from my dad's family extended family (whom I'm closer to) and not the first one to get married however, I am the first one who will have a religious ceremony and an actual reception. This entire wedding process is all new to me and I'm learning as the process continues. My FI and I educate ourselves by reading wedding magazines, asking other (older) married couples, and when in doubt I come to the WB!
I am the first one of my friends to be engaged/married.. and they're all in a different country now, too, so I don't really get any input. FH has a couple of close friends, but most of them in another town and no where near getting married..
That's why I joined the bee :)
@futuremrsloveday: I feel the exact same way (: that's why I love WB, it keeps me from talking about it too much IRL haha.
YES! Two of FI's best friends have kids and live with their couple but we're the first ones getting married. My girlfriends are in med school and not even in relationships so although they're excited they're not into wedding planning.
I was the first among my friends, which I think is part of the reason I spent so much time on weddingbee, the knot, projectwedding, etc. I just wanted to see what people like and don't like, what's traditional, etc. And I did an awesome job, if I do say so myself. Two friends have gotten married since actually (and it's only been 8 weeks!) and my FI now sees how great ours was and brags about it and says now he is glad I was so obsessed with the details, haha.
Compared to some weddings here, I thought ours was pretty average, but I guess for the area I'm in, or my circle of friends/family it was pretty fancy, so that worked out nicely! I guess the brides who bother taking the time being on wedding sites like this are probably paying quite a bit more attention to the little things and getting unique ideas from other brides.
I am. I'm just trying to be super nice to my BMs (not being too demanding, etc), in hopes that they will reciprocate when I'm in their weddings!
I am also the first! With that said, I feel a lot of my party is willing to help, but don't care too much about detailed stuff (they don't even really know themselves) and show up when they can. I find myself fairly independent with the planning process, but it's been okay because I've had lots of time and am pretty organized. What it has done is left me in paranoia about my guests and general wedding ettiquette, such as gifts, rsvping, plus one issues.. etc.
I was still in the process of figuring out everything we were going to do for our wedding when I last posted this. But now we have venue/photographer/venue.
1)You have time, just relax.
2) seriously, no one is that excited. Not even your boy. Try to find one friend who you can talk about wedding stuff with. You need this.
3) be able to make decision. And sometimes you may have to do this by yourself. Just feel confident in your decision making capabilities.
4)It's ok to spend a lot of time on weddingbee or Powerbride.com or other wedding sites.
I'd been to two weddings before ours (both family) and so I know for our small group of friends, we were the first. It just meant... well, that everything we did kind of looked original to them - which was sort of nice! :)
I'm also the first in my group of friends, but I spent two years interning at a wedding venue so I've seen it all in terms of wedding planning (parties from 50 to 500) and catering ranging from a gas station to an out of state caterer. I think all of those experiences gave me a good idea of what I do and don't want and how to most effectively plan!
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Hey Hive!
I always see a bunch of posts about how so-and-so has attended x number of weddings before theres and learned so much.
But I am the first one in my group of friends that is getting married! Anyone else in the same boat and want to share stuff you have learned along the way?