Post # 1
The church coordinator is big on us doing the first look. She thinks that it’s a tear-jerking, very intimate affair and that it would save us a lot of time on photography. Instead of spending 2 hours after the ceremony on photos and having our guests twiddle with their thumbs and toes while waiting on us at the other venue, we can get some of the bride+groom/bridal party/family photographs done and spend less time post ceremony on the wedding shoots. I agree on the time saving aspect but I like the idea of wow-ing the fiance – in my wedding dress (another post about it coming up soon) for the very first time – as dad walks me down the aisle. I have this crazy idea: What if I see him pre-ceremony with a different dress and then quickly change into my wedding dress after the “first look”? I can still have photos taken with me in my wedding dress after the ceremony and it will work out, right? Tell me if I’m insane. Mom and future MIL think it’s bad juju if I were to wear 2 white dresses on my wedding, so I’m thinking of a champagneish dress for the pre-ceremony/first look and the white dress for the ceremony, reception etc.
Oh my beloved bees, I feel like I’m turning into a bridezilla.
Post # 3
I was absolutely against the first look until we were doing it. I refused to make our guests wait any longer than necessary for the reception to start. I am so grateful we did. It was such an intimate moment with my H and I will never forget the look on his face when he saw me in my wedding dress for the first time.
Honestly, I would just stick with your dress. It will still be a special moment walking down the aisle, trust me!
Post # 4
@chxryl: Where I live (Mexico) is pretty common to have this “first look”, but it is not romantic at all. Actually most couples have their couple shots a week before the wedding to avoid photographs on the big day, only to do them with the wedding party.
Which sucks. I really wish the fist time FI sees me in my wedding dress is down the aisle.
Anyways, having two dresses (IMO) it is going to be the same for him that if you had only one.
Seriously, guys are not that detail oriented. He is going to be seeing YOU all dressed up for the wedding, he is not really going to care much about what you are wearing, so I would deffinitely wouldn’t make the extra expense.
I’d do a pro’s and con’s list to make up my mind between your choices. Listen to the advice of the most experienced and be honest with yourself: am I going to be in the mood for photograps right after the ceremony? do I really really reaaaaaally want my FI to see me first dressed as a bride at the aisle?
When you consider all this, make your choice.
But, really, in my honest opinion, a second dress is just not worth it.
Post # 5
@jbh13: That’s what he told me. He said that it would be special regardless of him seeing me for the first/second time because I’ll be walking down the aisle to marry him and that itself is an entirely different wow factor.
@AnaA: Thank you 🙂 Yeah, it feels like the right thing to do is the first look. I have a feeling I want to do it but the whole “i want him to see me for the first time in white” is what’s holding me back. Seeing that I’m already breaking a lot of customary traditions, I should just break this one too.
Post # 6
Ugh, our photographer is trying everything in her power to convince us to do a first look session. She showed us album after album of first look shots. She also mentioned the time saving aspect.
FI and I had talked about it and we are both firm on that the first time we want to see each other is walking down the aisle. We’re traditionalists and I definitely want that wow moment coming down the aisle. And yes, I know we get a wow moment with first look too but to us, it’s just not what we’ve always pictured. So we’re doing after-ceremony shots and if pics take longer than allotted than people can just start eating without us….no biggie 🙂
Post # 7
We’re doing the first look from a purely logistical point of view. We want some outdoor pics, and with an evening wedding, it’s necessary to consider time of day for evening shots and lighting. Also, we want to actually ENJOY our cocktail hour and dinner. I did not throw down this much cash to not have a proper drink on my wedding day. If we don’t do first looks, it’s a guarantee that we’ll miss cocktail hour, and we’ll be lucky to have more than a few minutes to eat dinner. Screw that. I live with him, I see him every day. I’m good with him seeing me before the ceremony 🙂
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Each to their own, of course. But we both really loved doing a first look. After the guests show up and the ceremony starts, the wedding day is NONSTOP CRAZY until the end of the night. Which is super fun! But you also don’t get that much time with your new spouse to really take in the magnitude of everything.
So we loved the first look for that reason… it was a chance to be like, “holy shit, we are doing this together today!” and just soak up the moment together. Not to mention, spending a few moments together was very calming, before the storm that was about to hit.
Plus, logistically it cuts down on the time you spend away from your guests. Highly recommended all around.
Post # 9
I’m really not very traditional at all but I decided against doing a first look. I’m not really liking the first look trend. I’ve seen other bees pictures here of them and to me nearly every one of them look a bit awkward. It just seems kinda contrived and forced to me and I really want the first time he sees me to be special, not convenient. (I hope this doesn’t hurt anyone feelings, just my opinion, I might feel differently if I had some experience trying it). I’ve never been wowed by first look photos. This is just what’s right for me so do what YOU feel is right. Some people said it helped their nerves or they may have had other reasons for it.
Post # 10
FH is completely against the idea of a first look, so we’re not doing it, simple as that. If you really want that moment of your FH seeing you for the first time as you walk down the aisle, then don’t let anyone convince you to do otherwise. It definitely does not make any sense to have a different “first look” dress. That defeats the purpose of the first look, and you’re going to want all the pictures in your ceremony dress.
Post # 11
Our first look and the moment of walking down the aisle were equally special, in different ways. The first look was very intimate and I liked that we were able to talk and spend time together. Walking down the aisle was more overwhelming and exciting with all of our guests there.
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
@Kazza: @chxryl: Just to note: the first look isn’t just about the literal first-look sneaking-up-on pictures, which take maybe 2 minutes and yes, can be awkward. It’s also about getting a bunch of beautiful photos when you have time to embrace it, vs. you’re in a rush because 200 guests are wondering where you are and why you’re not hanging out at your own wedding!
For demonstration purposes:
A photo that make me happy we did a first look:
Post # 13
we are doing a first look for many reasons….
there is the logistical aspects of it with time and not making people wait….
but the biggest reason for us is….I want that moment with him….yes there will be a photographer there….but just that moment where if he wants to he can cry, and be emotional, and i can be emotional…to where we can take a few snaps and then have a moment alone to just be together….and see eachother….no one around…no fuss…no time constraints of starting vows…just a moment in time before all of that to just be…
my FI is a mans man, he dosent cry infront of people. period. he refuses, and hes worried about showing that side infront of all his family and friends that dont normally see him that way…and we arent set on the he cant see till down the isle stuff….we just dont…
I love the idea because that is such a special moment for him….and i know he dosent want 100 of our friends and family staring at us through it…although he says it will still be just as perfect watching me walk down with my dad as it will in the moment of our first look…but he is my rock….and i know ill be a bundle of nerves and emotion and having that moment with him…just him (and a photographer) is what sold me on it…no parents, no friends…us…
although we did speak to our photographer, about being back aways and snapping shots from a distance during the intial part so we can have that moment…and then we will do the posed type stuf…
i can see arguments either way…but it really depends on the couple….we are staying in our home in our bed together the night before the wedding (which apparently is insaine to alot of people)….we are best friends….he is my rock and my calming point….and i think itd help me through the anxiety of the day (im not much of a fan for being center of attention)…I know i would go crazy with emotion if i didnt see him from the time i got up to the time i walked down the isle…cant do it…
Post # 14
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I really doubt you’ll have anyone vote that they regretted a first look- I have yet to see any regrets posts.
I LOVED that we did a first look. Just me, DH, and our photographer keeping a respectful distance. It was so beautiful and special. (Photographer also got some of my “first look” with Dad, which were also really sweet photos.) Most of my favorite photos are first look ones- we did our more formal portraits, and ones in various locations near our hotel and venue- about 2 extras hours of photos we never could have gotten otherwise.
Plus, I wasn’t a nervous wreck walking down the aisle!
Post # 15
@Kazza: +1, although I did a first look, but not for the purpose of photos. I knew I’d be nervous until I saw DH. Our photographer planned to take a bunch of group photos and whatnot afterward and I told him no, I just wanted to see DH, spend a private moment with him, and then go back to doing our thing separately before the wedding. During the first look I let the photographer take a few shots before asking him to give us some time alone. The photos he took when I knew he was there were not my favorite, but aparently he hid behind a bush or something and kept taking photos, paparazzi style. Those I like. I blurred out DH’s face…obviously haha.
We also ran into each other on accident a couple times before the ceremony, I think without the first look there would’ve been added stess knowing I couldn’t leave the bridal suite without knowing his whereabouts.
Post # 16
I’m all for the first look photos. Logistically it works for us because I’m a bride with two dresses, I would like equal photo time for that reason. Also, my FI and I would love to take pictures in different parts ofthe city so time wise it just works.