- 5 years ago
Like so many others, I have been lurking for a few months and this is my first post.
I have been hesitant to post previously because my SO and I have been together less than a year…
before you tell me “thats not long at all” (I know) We started this relationship from day 1 with the understanding that we are looking for a spouse. We are “courting” which for you bees who may not be religious, is basically dating with the intention of being married, not just to date.
Anyway… I havent posted up until this point because I havent considered myself to be officially “waiting” We have discussed future plans many times, he has actually jokingly called me his wife to a friend (I told him he wasnt allowed to call me that since I am NOT) But he has told me he is not ready. I completely understand that, it has after all, not even been a year.
Now on to why I am finally posting…
We recently began having ring discussions, what I like/dont like, what I think is an appropriate price range, etc. I had never heard of Moissanite before you lovely bees, but I have done my research, and was able to tell him that is what I wanted. This actually led to a fight to my surprise. I had to convince him I really do want a Moissy…he eventually warmed up to the idea, and asked me to send him several rings I like (eee!) so that he could have some ideas, but still be able to pick one himself and surprise me. Since he told me he still wasnt ready… I didnt think much of it, as he is VERY analytical and likes to extensively research things.
The other night though, he tells me that he is currently looking for the ring/planning a proposal, and he didnt just ask me to send him rings for nothing. That he does want to marry me…
BUT… he is still not ready. That it is not financial, he is not waiting to see if he wants to marry me (he does), there are no red flags. He thinks he just may have an issue with the fact that it hasnt been a year ( again, I completely understand) or maybe that he is just afraid of marriage because it is a lifetime commitment. We do not believe in divorce as an option.
I am so confused?
I asked him, if you are not ready, why would you be looking and planning a proposal? Why would you tell me that?
Have any of you had experience with a man planning things and looking at rings and then saying he still isnt ready? In my head… if you are not ready… you shouldnt be doing those things, and you certainly shouldnt tell me you’re doing them!
Sorry about the novel 🙂