- 3 years ago
I’ve been lurking these boards for over a year now, but I decided it was time to make an account and officially be a “Waitingbee.”
Mr. CofeeBean and I have been together for nearly 4 years. We traveled the world together and we are now living overseas (just for a short time), but we will be moving back to the US early in 2014. Yes, we are both hopelessly addicted to coffee.
I’ve been really really really ready to get engaged since March. I knew he was the person I wanted to marry very early in our relationship. When we first met I swear my jaw dropped. It’s like I knew him before I knew him, he seemed so familiar, and I’ve been in love with him pretty much ever since. For him– it wasn’t love at first sight. He thought I was cute but he’s pretty reserved. I asked him out and then he was all about me. I used to hate that he didn’t fall for me right away, but now I’m happy that he’s not the Romeo type, I never have to worry about him wandering or flirting!
Back to March. We went on a two week long Mediterranean vacation. At this point, we were together for almost 3.5 years, and at the time we were both certain this would be the last time we would be able to afford such a nice vacation, so I figured he would propose then. Alas- the proposal didn’t come. About a month or two after we got in a pretty heated argument about him not proposing or even talking much about marriage. He was always willing to talk about having children within the next few years, but not about marriage. The past 6-7 months have been a little rough. Our relationship has been solid, but there was definitely tension and a severe cold front.
A few days ago he asked me what was going on, and for the first time we talked about marriage before bed time and without interruptions, and it was the first time I didn’t cry about it when discussing the issue. I told him I was tired of feeling like it wasn’t happening, that he was stringing me along, and that he won’t TALK about it. He told me what the real issue was all along. He talked to his parents about thinking about marriage, and that they were not supportive. “You’re too young, you need to finish school, you’ll be so distracted, it can wait.” He was sobbing as he told me this, so I knew it was really important for his family to be on board.
Now you might think that we are really young. This is where you would be wrong. We are in our MID/LATE 20s! “School” refers to grad school, it’s not like we’re living in college dorms and drinking out of Solo cups. Ok, so we’re not old, but come on, it’s our family and no one is going to build it but us, and their recommendation wasn’t helpful. I read a very interesting article and I quoted it when I was talking to him about his parents disapproval. “No one knows your world one millionth as well as you know it.” Additionally in this article, the writer discussed how family/friends rarely support change because they like you the way you are and have no benefits when you change. After talking about all of this- he decided he would talk to them in a few weeks when we go back home to the states. I won’t be going with him while he has this talk, but I hope he can keep in mind the points we brought up. He’s a grown man, but when he’s with his family he turns into a 14 year old boy who needs their approval. Honestly, I’ve never liked his family much because they are really overbearing and always giving us relationship advice– DESPITE the fact that NO ONE IN THE ENTIRE FAMILY HAS HAD EVEN 1 SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE.
Some of you may be thinking “This is a disaster already.” But honestly, our relationship is really beautiful. Even though he sort of sinks into this awful man-boy mindset when he’s with his family, I think I do a decent job of reminding him that he’s a man and to take ownership of his decisions and stick up for himself. It’s only an issue around his family, he’s much more confident in every other situation.
Anyway- for the first time EVER- we looked at rings together. We’ve decided on moissaniteco because I want a bigger ring than we can afford, and I don’t want to upgrade years later. I guess he could afford it, but he’s trying to pay off his student loans before going back to grad school, and I am graduating this summer and don’t want to have a few grand sitting on my hand while owing many thousands to Sallie Mae- I would feel so guilty! I’ve also got a promise that a proposal is going to happen within the next 5 months (so it can be in some romantic foreign city) and I can hardly believe it. After all of these months of struggling with being ready and him holding back, we are finally on the same page and it feels so nice.
These are the two rings he bookmarked. I liked a few others but he hated them, so these are our final two
Ok so the one below isn’t an image from Moissaniteco because it’s the kind you customize so there’s no stock image… but this is the general idea.
Now- I’m excited to be engaged but it’s really not all about the ring to me. I’m mainly posting these because I CAN’T DECIDE. I guess he can figure out which one is best. I like the halo because it’s so sexy, but I like the solitare because it’s classic. I mean honeslty- I’d wear a ring pop if it gets the job done, but it is something I’ll have to wear for the rest of my life so I want to get it right.