Post # 1
Today was so emotional.. I am still in high school so that might sum up to why we were even arguing about these petty things.. haha jk.
So I’m a senior, one month from graduating. So my bf and i have a communication problem, i guess i do expect to much. Long story short.. in class, takling it out escalated to going off on each other, and this is the first time ever we both were screaming out the b word and telling each other to stfu and putting each other down. We got security called on and were sent to the assistant principal’s office, i was crying and in shock. What hurt me the most is her telling me i’m not going to get a guy or married with my personality. I’ve had my fair shares of put downs as wel, telling her she won’t make it in the national guard and all she has is her mom and bf. Principal told us not to contact each other till a day later when we have another meeting but i texted her and she isn’t replying. I do not blame her in any ways for not replying i’m just an impatient girl.. I am seeking therapy now for my temper, anxiety and depression. I think today was a wake up call for how bad my temper is [everyone close to me knows i have one] but this is definitely opening. I’ just saddened how we’ve been BEST friends for a few years but were inseperable. Never would’ve expect to end up in this crazy sitch. I even jumped in a fight for her last year and we are just always there for each other and today things got out of hand and hurtful words were said. I don’t know what to do ..
honestly .. is it ever to late to fully make up and solve our problems? We’ve been having problems with my temper since last year and its finally exploded. I feel lour relationship is way to toxic now to even resolve.. Any advice? Stories related to mines? I’m just in shock now.. were month away frmo graduating, and its ending like this. I’m humiliated and emotional drained.
Post # 3
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
Take a deep breath. Everything is going to be ok. People fight. That’s a part of life. Even when you find the love of your life and get married, you’re still going to fight with each other. Try to keep things in perspective. When you feel the need to shout and call names, ask yourself what you really want? Stop and think, “What do I really want in this situation? Do I want to yell and make her feel bad? Or do I just want my friend to listen and commiserate with me? How would I need to act to get what I really want here?” I don’t think it’s ever too late to try and repair a relationship. I didn’t talk to my father for 5 years, and now many many years later, we have a great relationship and he’s walking me down the aisle in 12 days. So keep your chin up. I know in high school everything bad that happens feels like it’s the end of the world. But it’s really not. Your whole life is ahead of you. You won’t even remember these silly spats 10 years from now.
Post # 4
Agree with pp. Take a breath, step back and STOP texting her! Do what the principal told you to do. They see this stuff all the time and it is amazing what a 24 hour break can do. Let it be for tonight.
It is good that you are working with a counselor. Keep at it, do your very best to learn to control your temper and you would be surprised what can be fixed.
Post # 5
Keep your distance from your friend. Is this friendship severed for good? No one can tell you that – but it will be if you continue down this very destructive road. You are tearing at your friend’s insecurities when you get angry and you’re calling them horrible names. No amount of shrugging and “I’m angry” is going to erase that damage. If your friend has similar fighting patterns, I hope she’s also in counseling.
Are you around other people who fight like that? Do your parents have arguments like that?
Relationships and friendships ebb and flow, come and go. You’ll find throughout your life that you grow closer to some and more distant from others. Some friendships fade into the sands of times, and sometimes, that’s the most loving, gentle decision both people can make. Both of you may be better off not seeing or talking to each other.
Give yourself a day or two break and ask yourself how you feel. Is it possible your anger is so explosive because neither of you are good for each other? Do you have any other friends, OP, or is this friend your closest, possibly only, friend?