First time bride in your 40's?

posted 3 years ago in 40 Something
Post # 3
Member
11002 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’m so sorry that your experience thus far has been so disappointing.  You certainly have some extenuating circumstances in your family, given the recent death of your mother, and I think that you’re right to consider that grief and loss are playing a role in your family’s seeming inability to share your joy regarding your engagement.

I also was an older, first-time bride (became engaged at 46, married at 47), and my experience was quite different.  My family and friends were all so excited and happy for me, because they knew that I waited a very, very long time for God to bring my DH into my life.

I hope that your family and friends will begin to show more excitement and enthusiasm as your engagement period progresses.  This should be a very exciting time in your life! 🙂

Post # 4
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I got engaged (1st time for both of us) at 46 and got married at 47. My father had died about six months before we got engaged, my mom has pretty severe Alzheimer’s. So yes, I had very similar feelings! I was so happy and excited, but planning was also sometimes lonely and sad too. Sometimes I also just felt ridiculous shopping alongside all these college-aged women. But I concentrated on the pros – no one told me what to do, who to invite, what dress to wear. My FI and I did exactly as *we* pleased, and ended up with the perfect experience for us (not a perfect wedding by any means but time has softened the glitches.) I’m so sorry you aren’t getting as much interest from you friends and family as you would like, but you can still be giddy and thrilled and have a truly splendid day!

Post # 6
Hostess
15072 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I got married at 39 for the first (and last) time. I’ll admit, it wasn’t as much fun as it may have been at 25. We also had a death that changed things for us.  My stepsons mom passed away 3 weeks before our originally scheduled wedding, we changed it to a year later. Give it a few months, I’m sure that things will level out. Plan on doing most everything yourself or with your So. I did 99% of the planning myself and came to enjoy it that way, but also coming here to the Bee helped a lot. I made some good friends here that were very helpful and gave me those excited remarks when I needed them. 

If you ever need anything or just want to commiserate, hit me up on DM. 

 

Post # 7
Member
2726 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@KatB442:  No, I didn’t have that experience at all but maybe it is because of the mourning?  I will say that people got more excited when we set a date.

Post # 10
Hostess
15072 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@KatB442:  she’s kind of mine. She actually belongs to my roping partner but I’m the only one that rides her. He says she’s mine. 

 

Are you going to look for your dress at Wedding Shoppe? I got a dress from there and they are wonderful. (I used to go to Minn/St Paul all the time til my mom moved back to NE) 

Post # 12
Member
2726 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@KatB442:  Also, people got more excited after I picked out my dress.

Post # 13
Hostess
15072 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@KatB442:  they have a great website to drool over while you’re waiting to shop. 

What area do you live in?  What kind of riding do you do? 

Post # 16
Hostess
15072 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@KatB442:  I know maple Grove, that’s by Brooklyn Park. I used to manage that area. Nice area. 

Do you have a pinterest page set up for wedding stuff while your waiting? I used it to save tons of stuff when I was to early to plan. We set a date for roughly 18 months out also, I didn’t want to really start to plan until my brother came home from overseas.

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