First time issue with FIL…

posted 3 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Hostess
8680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Those are some pretty long song.. The dj could probably trim them down and mix them together to make one long club type song.

Post # 4
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Who is paying for the DJ?

If you guys are, or if your family is, I would just tell the DJ to play a few of these songs, maybe one of the 10-15 minute sets, and I would time it for a time that many people may not be dancing (like immediately after cake cutting when people are more interested in cake than they are in dancing!) and then play a few of the upbeat greek songs that you and your FI pick out through out the night. Perhaps add another 10-15 minute set towards the end of the night too.

If your inlaws are upset over it, maybe try to explain that you want to be a good host, and  play music that all of your guests will enjoy, and while you would love to honor their village’s music, there are other aspects that you wish to honor as well. If they refuse to listen to reason, and demand that their wishes take priority over your side of the family, I would simply drop it, and make sure your DJ knows that no matter how much your in laws might demand that he play the village music, that he is not to listen to them.

 

Post # 6
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@readbakesmile:  You say they aren’t upbeat… does that mean they are slow? Because if so, maybe you could say “You get to pick ALL the songs for the cocktail hour (or dinner)!” which will feel like it’s substantial, but doesn’t eat up ANY of your dance time. 

ETA: This is basically a compromise I’m making with my FI. He isn’t a dancer and wants a lot of music that is just not danceable. I refuse to splice those kinds of songs in because they will break up the groove once people are dancing, so he gets free range on the dinner music and I will pick the vast majority of the after dinner songs. 

Post # 9
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@readbakesmile:  Oh man. I’m tempted to just say give the DJ one of them and toss the rest, but if he’s likely to make a scene at the wedding, that isn’t going to work. It would work on *MY* dad… but proceed with caution!

Post # 11
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

Yeah, that needs to be dealt with.  If the music sucks to the majority of your guest list there will be NO dancing and people will leave early.

Post # 12
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@readbakesmile:  Then just do what I suggested, and possibly even don’t play the last set. If you can’t seperate the sets, play one set during a less popular dance time, or whenever you choose. The key is to decide what you and your FI want to play, and go from there.

If you’re willing to be the bad guy on this, just put your foot down, give your explicit instructions to the DJ, and leave it at that. Just make sure that you and your FI decide on this together.

Post # 13
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@readbakesmile:  Im Greek and I know exactly what music you’re talkng about. Traditional music with traditional dances. Honestly, those sets are way too long. Just go behind his back (if your FI agrees with you) and I suggest making a Greek “set”, an Armenian “set”, and an English “set” and just rotate throughout the night maybe 20mins each so EVERYONE is happy. He wont be able to say anything at the wedding because he’ll be in front of the whole family. It sounds bad to go behind your in laws back BUT it is your wedding, your family wants their music too and you have total control because you are paying.

Besides, I know for a FACT Greek men are stubborn. One thats old school village stubborn.. chances are going behind his back is the only way. 

Post # 16
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

Take charge and be the bad guy.  You only have a couple of weeks to put this to rest.  Make sure the DJ takes direction from you and FI and warn him that FFIL is not to hijack what is being played.

I think you need to have a direct but firm conversation with him, “FFIL, we will not be playing Greek village music all night as we want the music to appeal to our entire guest list and we want the dance floor packed and people having a good time.  We will integrate some Greek village music  into the evening, but it will not be the majority.  End of discussion.”

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