- 6 years ago
DS is almost 3 months old. My DH and I have always had an amazing relationship, we always did everything together, we always had respect for each other, always helped each other. Now with our DS in the picture I feel like everything has changed. I know the first year is rough, and many say it puts stress on the relationship so I do understand that.
DH and I do date night and get out together and always said we wouldn’t lose sight of us. As the weeks go on I get more and more angry and annoyed, and frankly disgusted with him.
We did agrue a lot the first few weeks of DS as my DH was way too laid back, like leaving the gates open in the house and going upstairs to shower. Mind you we have a 140 Mastiff, you don’t leave a baby sitting there with a dog that has never been around babies before. He had no common sense the first few weeks, running out to the car with the baby wrapped in a blanket in 20 degree weather. So yeah we had some issues the first few weeks. We got through it. But now again in the last 2 months he has just been not there.
I am home with the baby from 5am until 7:30, DS is colicky, it’s draining, I am tired , and by the time 4 rolls around I am in tears myself. I understand he has to work but I also need help and it would be nice to have him try to come home early 1 night. Last week I made plans to go out with a friend and he assured me he would be home, and of course he was late. He is constantly late to everything. On top of that, he doesn’t do anything when it comes to our bills and that fustrates me.
I pay the bills and his 2 things are to deal with the mortgage and the health insurance. Well our mortgage for some unknown reason went up 5 months ago and I have been HOUNDING him everyday to call the mortgage and get it worked out. We are paying $100 extra a month for no reason and he still hasn’t done it! I ask him to do something and he never does it or he forgets. We have all the medical bills for the insurance to pay and DH is suppose to take care of that and pay them and now I am getting notices that things are late and past due.
For awhile he wasn’t helping with making bottles, or feeding our animals. I hit my breaking point with that which he has gotten better with, but it’s like his desire to help me is gone when he used to be the type that would do anytihng without me ever having to ask.
Then the other night, he comes home at 8:00, I am beyond tired, upset, baby cried all day, I didn’t eat anything all day because I was holding him all day. We were seriously low on formula and cat food. So he says he will go out and get the stuff. SO he goes out, gets himself food but not me! So then he comes home and I ask him what he got me and he says oh umm you can have half of the sandwhich. SO then I flipped out and then he tries to play it off like he got the sandwhich for me, when I know he didn’t because he got 1 sandwhich!
He has no idea how hard it is to take care of a screaming, cranky baby all day. He says the baby for 30 mins every night. He makes light of what I have to go through durning the day, and he just doesn’t get it.
I don’t know if he expects me to do everything because he is working but he needs to pull his weight and start doing things. We are trying to plan the baptism, I don’t have much time and try to do it when the baby isn’t screaming, so we finally agreed on a place and I asked if he could call and give the depost and get the contract signed, he still hasn’t done. He does NOTHING when it comes to our home, money, taking care of things. I am just so upset, to the point that I feel like I don’t have any feelings for him, that this isn’t the man I married, and I am not even attracted to him becaues I feel like he is worse than my DS, with me constantly having to tell him to do things.