Post # 1
This may be a little TMI or personal, but I need some advice. I’m nineteen-years-old, and my fiance and I are living together; however, we are both virgins, and will remain so until our wedding night (not for religious reasons… But just because we want it to be a very special time for us). I have never been to the gynocologist, but I am planning to go this month so that I can be put on birth control to prepare myself for our wedding this June. :]
I’m incredibly nervous about going to the gyno… What should I do to prepare myself and/or be more relaxed about the situation? I don’t even know what to expect (aside from a few things)!
Post # 3
If all you want is birth control, your doc may not even require you to have an exam. However, it is a very good idea to get in the habit of having regular gynocological exams so that you have a baseline if there is ever an abnormality in a pap smear or breast exam. Make sure to spend a few minutes at least talking to your doctor about what he/she is going to do before beginning an exam if you’re nervous and make sure it is someone you feel comfortable with. It’s healthy, it’s natural, everyone should do it. You’ll be ok.
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country
Peace of mind knowing that you will be tested for cervical cancer once a year during your exam is comforting to me! Even those of us who have been visiting the gyno once a year for some time still get nervous. The plus side is that the RN or Doc that sees you knows that its your first time, and Im sure they will ease you into the process. A good doc will tell you exactly what he/she is doing when shes doing it. Its really a quick and painless process, usually 15 mins or less!
I think what eases my mind most of all, like i said before, is knowing that I’m being tested for any abnormalities that you would otherwise not know about if you didnt get a pap smear. While the visit to the doc is nerve wracking, the year of knowing that you’re in the clear for abnormalities is really nice 🙂
Post # 5
Brush up on your families medical history so your chart is accurate. For many women, the ob/gyn is the only doctor they see regularly.
As far as the appointment, I just give myself a little pep talk beforehand. They are just a doctor doing their job. They have heard it all, seen it all, answered it all. Remember that they are giving exams all day long, all week and all year- they look at stuff everday. You should feel comfortable talking to them and they should listen to you but your physical exam is one in thousands they will do this year. They don’t take pictures home or anything! 🙂 And finally remind yourself that they chose their job- they want to help women. The appointment shouldn’t be awkward for either of you.
My final advice: Find someone you like. They will go through a lot with you over the years- family planning, maybe birth, menopause, etc. If you aren’t sold on the doctor, keep searching until you find someone you are happy with. Best Luck!
Post # 6
If it makes you feel more comfortable you can request a female doctor. You could also bring a trusted female (like your mom or sister) with you. They can even come into the exam room if you wish. You can tell the doctor that this is your first time and you would like them to tell you what they are doing as they go along so you don’t get surprised by anything.
Post # 7
LOL. It’s going to be a bit awkward whether it’s your first or twentieth time. Some tips & things to expect (These will sound simple to those who’ve had a pap before but was a surprise to me first time around)
1) Ask for a female doctor if it makes you feel more comfortable.
2) There should be a female nurse in the room if it’s a male doctor
3) the doctor will be explaining to you the whole time what & where his/her hands will be so you won’t be wondering.
4) The doctor will place a scope contraption inside you and expand it a bit, it’ll be uncomfortable but shouldn’t be painful.
5) At some point, the doctor will place a couple of fingers inside to feel if everything is ok. Also, the lubricant they use is cold. 🙂 Don’t freak out!
And as everyone else mentioned above, they do this everyday so it’s like examining any other body part to them, so there’s really no need to feel weird about it. Good luck!
Post # 8
I went to the gyno before I had ever had sex (for the same reason- to get put on the pill)- it was so scary for me… BUT it wasn’t bad! The uncomfortable part only lasts a few minutes, literally like 3. And they did make me have the exam just to check everything out! Good luck and be strong, once its over, you don’t have to go back for a year!
Post # 9
Hey, missking! I’m 22, getting married in May, and in the same situation as you. Thanks for asking that question- starting birth control has become a concern of mine recently as well! Last year, I went to the ob/gyn for the first time, and while I was freaked out about it, I just forced myself through it. It won’t kill you at all, and it feels good to know if you’re healthy.
Post # 10
Absolutely let the doctor know it is your first exam. He/she will then know to explain to you what they are doing before they do it. Although most docs I have seen do a pretty good job of that, I know they take extra time and care if they know you are not familiar with the process.
Red gave a good description of what to expect. They also use a long q-tip to take a smear, which can be a little uncomfortable but doesn’t actually hurt; it can make you bleed a little if you are about to get your period.
Also, they will ask you for the dates of your last period, so you should figure that out before you go! (Although it doesn’t have to be exact.)
Post # 11
just wanted to add to everyone else’s great advice.
Please ask that they warm the instrument and the ky jelly. most do, but i have been to a few doctors who didnt bother.
and since you are a virgin, it could possibly be more than a little uncomfortable. It was for me. it didnt hurt. but i definitely didn’t expect the sensation that i did.
also, when your doctor does your pap, you may experience a very mild twinge, to cramping sensation. this last all of 2 seconds and is completely normal.
Definitely get someone to go with you…if nothing but for the company in the waiting room.
Post # 12
All the pp’s had great points- one thing I want to reiterate is that the doctor (any doc!) should tell you what he/she is doing- not just the good ones! Once those hands start to go to your pubic region, that doc better explain every single step his/her hands are going. Make sure to tell them if you are nervous- but try to relax because being tense makes the ‘procedure’ slightly more uncomfortable.
And FYI- By law, you have to have an exam before they will prescribe any form of birth control.
Post # 13
Post # 14
- Wedding: March 2018 - Still Looking!
This might sound odd, but try asking your doc if she can use a child-size speculum for the procedure. My first GYN check-up was, frankly, a bit painful. But at the second one, I told the (different) doc that history, and she used a child’s speculum and it was totally a breeze!!
Post # 15
Thanks, everyone, for the advice so far! I feel much more comfortable after being reminded that this is their JOB, and reminded how often they do their job. :]
Also, I know birth control is different for everyone, but could someone give me some advice on what side effects I should expect? What kind do you take, and how has it been so far? Will I be able to ask the dr to prescribe me a certain kind or will they just prescribe me a certain kind since it’s the first time?