- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
My friend was REALLY sick her first trimester. Barfing ALL the time. She was miserable. She was barfing all the way up to the middle of her 4th month.
Twinstar - these are great questions!
I am one of the few people that had a very easy first trimester in that I never had morning sickness. I did however, have extreme exhaustion. If I was planning a wedding during that time, the exhaustion would have gotten to me for sure. Unfortunately, since everyone's body is different during pregnancy. there is no way to know for sure whether it will be an easy trimester for you or not. I think it will be a risk you have to be willing to take.
If you are too worried about it, then I would wait until you are closer to the wedding. Because the last thing you want to do is bring on wedding stress during the most crucial months of the pregnancy.
It's so, so different for everyone. My mom never felt better when she was pregnant; I never felt worse. The first semester with the twins was a nightmare. I felt sick ALL the time--like standing-at-the-toilet-staring-at-it-sick, but hardly ever throwing up (which, honestly, was worse--there was never any relief). Water made me nauseated--I lived for months on Gatorade, Altoids sours, and peanut butter sandwiches that I had to force down. I was more tired than I've ever been in my entire life, except for maybe when I had the flu and couldn't open my eyes (it was about that bad). It wasn't as bad with my singleton, but it was still pretty rough.
I've had friends where it was a nightmare, and friends where it was fine, and friends where one pregnancy was awful, but the next was fine. Unfortunately, you won't know until you're there.
Also, it's not necessarily going to happen on your first try; so be prepared for that, too.
My general advice is not to wait when you know you're ready... But September's so close; I don't know... Would you be willing to call off the wedding if you weren't up to it, or if there were complications? If the wedding itself isn't that important to you, then I'd say go for it. But if you want to be assured a nice wedding, where you're comfortable, and happy, healthy, and awake, I'd probably suggest waiting.
Good luck, with whatever you decide! So exciting!
I felt nauseaous and so so sleepy the entire first trimester and into the early 2nd tri. If you get the bulk of your planning done before the pregnancy, I don't think it would be that bad, but I could barely get myself to work and home again. Mr. DG did all the cooking and cleaning while my job was to sleep and whine!
It's so different for everyone. I had a rough go of it. I was sick from week 6-18 or so. Very tired with no motivation to do anything. I'm pretty sure I also suffered from depression during these 2-3 months. Which stemmed from being so BEHIND in everything in life. Didn't help this fell over Dec/Jan so I was behind at work, behind for Christmas, no cooking, no cleaning. The house was a disaster. It was a very blah time for me. Of course I was excited to be expecting - but pretty much miserable otherwise.
Then again there's my s-i-l that never got physically sick but felt like she has a 3 month hangover. Of course she was still able to continue her life as a 'martha stewart' wannabe with the house clean, dinner made every night, full time job, and keeping up with her 2 year old daughter and all her other activities :)
Mrs Dumpling did it, and she said it was a piece of cake. I believe she was like 4 months overlapped with the planning/pregnancy. I know she commented on another post here somewhere about it
I agree that this totally varies by person. My first trimester was really bad; I was sick 24/7, threw up like 5 or more times a day, couldn't do anything (literally, my husband took over everything, and I laid in bed or on the couch from 6 pm to 6 am). It was miserable...
But once I hit about week 18, things got a lot better. :) I think maybe the first few months wouldn't be ideal to have wedding, but the second trimester is awesome and I think a wedding would be totally doable at 4-6 months along. Good luck!
Unless you are in a huge rush, I would suggest waiting since you have no idea what you will feel like. I think my first trimester wasn't that bad - I kept my food down! - but I also generally stopped enjoying eating and would get hit by extreme exhaustion. The kind where you want to do nothing but sit on the couch and sleep. I personally wouldn't want to plan a wedding like that or get married like that if I had a choice in the matter.....
My first trimester was E-A-S-Y. No nausea. No sickness. I felt tired, but if I took a one hour siesta, I was fine. I'd just go to bed an hour earlier. I think it's just so different for everyone. My only concern for you wouldn't be planning the wedding, but the wedding itself. Some women get "morning" sickness the ENTIRE pregnancy. It may not be so fun to be puking on your wedding day. But I can see why you're anxious to try right away too. If you don't mind foregoing the champagne on your wedding day, then go for it! You may not get pregnant right away anyway, so you may as well get some "practice" in. 
Given the fact that every woman and every pregnancy is different, I would wait. I'm about 8 wks and if I could stay in my house all day, every day I would. With my oldest daughter, I had morning sickness nearly the whole pregnancy and with my younger one I was super pukey until about 4 mos. Now with this baby, I feel simultaneously nauseous and starving and I just don't feel like dealing with anyone bc I am so tired. Also, everything stinks to me. I haven't thrown up, but everything makes me gag. My niece and nephew are over right now and I think they're super smelly, even though I know they're not. I couldn't fake being cheerful right now, even if a shirtless Ryan Reynolds was handing me a million dollar check and telling me he wishes I was having his baby.
@Miss Starlet: "...even if a shirtless Ryan Reynolds was handing me a million dollar check and telling me he wishes I was having his baby."
I just choked on my lunch. Hahaha!!!
while it varies by person, MOST people get morning sickness...Mine kicked in at 6 weeks, and most people I think it's like 6-8 weeks. I was also more tired and of course my boobs grew, etc. (not sure if you already realize the "weeks" are from your period, not conception...) So, depending on your cycle, I would aim to be 4-6 weeks if you want...but then, in that case, you usually wouldn't tell EVERYONE.
If you are determined, though, most people feel better by 12 weeks (mine was 14-15 weeks, though), so you could do that, too, but I'd really try to skip that month and a half where you'd be in the 6-12 week range.
oh, and there are some articles online that will give you an idea on how likely you are to have MS...for example, your sisters'/mom's MS, etc.
For those of you who got sick... how did you work? Was it really bad that you had to call out sick?
I'm about 1.5 years away before we start trying but this one thing I always wondered about. I only get 10 sick days a year and I know a lot of my friends tried to save their sick days for when they actually have the kid.
Hmmm...
I wasn't so sick I couldn't work - but I did scale back my hours and travel - I normally work about 12 hour days and have calls early/late and I just generally made sure to make it more manageable. Telling your immediate boss helps a LOT! I have heard many stories of people waking up with their heads on their keyboards :)
@ yrret107 - For those of you who got sick... how did you work?
This is a great question. I was SO thankful I work from home. I pretty much laid on the couch with my laptop and did what I could for those 3 months. The first 2 were the worst. By the third month of morning sickness I was at least sitting at the desk in my office. There were many a skype meeting when I pulled the 'be right back' - muted skype and ran to the bathroom. Which luckily at home is only 10 feet away. Lots other days I was going into the bathroom every 20 minutes just *hoping* something would come up so I would feel better. I can't imagine doing that in an office.
Even now I have days I am so exhausted (at 23 weeks) I can't hold my head up to sit at my desk so I lay on the couch in my office and work :)
I only got sick maybe 3 times in a public bathroom. Other than that I was at home or in a my own hotel room - thank goodness! And I got sick OFTEN.
@yrret107 : About getting sick at work.... I sucked on sour candy all day and hoped for the best. I remember, one time, getting sick seven times in a row in the parking garage. Thank goodness I kept air sickness bags in my car! I was allowed to park in the handicapped spots out front after a month or two (the garage was a bit of a hike), and by four or five months I worked from home, lying on the couch with a laptop. I had a tough pregnancy with twins, so I wouldn't expect it to be that bad normally. My singleton pregnancy wasn't as bad; but I wasn't working (although chasing two 1.5-year-olds wasn't exactly easy!)
Oh gosh, hearing you all talk about having morning sickness is making my ice tea rumbly in my tummy.
Awesome discussion! Thank you all for such great input!
@Miss Starlet - I think you described my worst fears....and my biggest fantasy (Ryan Reynolds!). My twin sister had it pretty bad during her first trimester so I should take that as my best indication of what I will feel like during my first trimester. I would hate to not want anyone around during what should be one of the happiest times in my life. I want to be one of those bionic pregnant women who look great and feel great all the time. Decisions decisions...
@Melissabegins...LOL!! I think it's the fabric softener my sister uses. It just reeks! I febreezed them, which just made it worse. Shhhh...please don't tell my sister I febreezed her kids.
As for working, I am a total wuss. With the oldest, I fell asleep and vomited at work OFTEN! My dr eventually put me on bedrest for other reasons, so I wasn't able to work. That was when I moved from San Diego to Michigan, so I wasn't working. With my younger daughter, I was just really lazy. I found a couch in a back hallway to sleep on and I spent a lot of time in the ladies room. I was really, really lucky. And with this baby, I just quit my job to spend more time with my girls, so I can nap when they're in school, but staying awake in my office was getting difficult.
Great question about work Yrret! For me it involved shifting my schedule a bit for my desk job so that I went in an hour later and stayed a little later. For ER shifts, I just kind of had to gut it out with ginger chews, Seabands and sour candy. I had to wear a mask in every room because everything smelled so bad to me. You usually know when you are going to have to throw up, so I never had any really bad incidents.
I was so tired that I would actually fall asleep at my desk at times... but you do what you have to do, and I had to put a good face on it because I didn't plan on telling anyone until well into the second trimester. When I did tell people, I was gratified by the response, "Wow! You must have felt great, because I couldn't tell you were sick at all." Phew!
I was pretty much permanently nauseous and exhausted from weeks 6-16. I did manage to drag myself to work each day, since I work for myself and no one else can do my work/meet with my clients... but it was a struggle. I did go home early a couple of times on days when my schedule was pretty clear. The rest of the time, I kept a pillow and blanket in my office and took a nap on the floor between clients... haha.
However, a friend of mine who is only a couple of weeks behind me never had any symptoms beyond a little tiredness and says she feels great... so you could get lucky like her!
@Twinstar - I too wanted to be a "bionic" woman who just loved being pregnant. The truth is that if the fatigue does hit you, you are at its mercy!
@ yrret - Ummm, I think I took off maybe two full days ( one day and two half days) for morning sickness. Honestly, I was really sick even lying on the couch at home, so I figured if I was going to be throwing up and miserable all day I might as well get paid for it. Luckily, my office is right next to a private bathroom, which was really awesome. And my boss was really understanding; she cut me some slack on completing paperwork and doing certain tasks until I started feeling better. :)
My wedding is this May and by then I will be 4 months. Let me tell you, although I love being pregnant, wedding planning basically stopped for me until last week because I was so tired and nauseous I could barely make it to work and back, let alone plan anything. If you do decide to do it, make sure that you have a lot of support and a backup plan. As for work, I almost didn't make it to the bathroom a couple of times. Everyone would see me running down the hall with my hand over my mouth.
First trimester can be difficult for many, many, women. I was one of them - I phoned my mother almost everyday to say "goodbye" because I felt so terrible! :) A wee bit dramatic, but it truly was horrific, for me anyway. I started my pregnancy with a back injury and subsequent bed rest, and it just went downhill from there. I'll be in my third trimester soon - and I like it much better! :)
You all are amazing! Thanks so much for sharing your experiences. It sounds like my best bet would be to wait until after the wedding. I did not mention I work full-time and I'm in school full-time so I'd be spreading myself pretty thin with pregnancy. I'll experience wedding planning first, and pregnancy second. No matter what I hope I don't feel the need to call my mom everyday and say "goodbye" >>>>shortcake. You cracked me up!
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| ticatica | 13 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 12 |
| MrsOliveBird | 11 |
| aussiebee | 10 |
| janetsnakehole | 8 |
| Scottish_lassie | 7 |
| pinkandsparkly | 6 |
| Lyndzo | 6 |
| Rivendeler | 6 |
| GelaMac | 6 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| bebefly | 1 |
 happyface |
1 |
Hello everyone! To give you a little bit of back story, I am in my early 30s and my fiance just turned 40. I would like to have a baby sooner than later. I am getting married in September and I have this vision in my head of being 3 or 4 months pregnant at the wedding and annoucing it to our families. I would love to start trying within the next couple of months but I have been warned that the first few months are very hard.
I'd like to know what your first trimester was like. Could you see yourself planning a wedding while experiencing your first trimester? I am going to discuss this with my doctor today, but I just thought I'd toss the question out there. Thanks!