First valentines – awful. Anyone else?

posted 6 months ago in Relationships
Post # 61
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

zippy85 :  

Ok, so let’s remove your hate filled rants about him, the possibility he’s gay, and his lack of a job from the equation.

Let’s pretend this is actually about Valentine’s Day.

If my FI bought $200 in groceries to make me dinner and worked for 4.5 hours to make me something, you better believe I’d be in there with him pouring wine while we cooked together and laughing together about it if the cooking was an epic fail. The reality is, in relationships if two people are putting in effort (and $200 dollars and 4+ hours of work is real effort), anything can be navigated.

What did you do for him for Valentine’s?

 

 

Post # 62
Member
5533 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Lola's Trailer Park

Girl, just take this marriage out back and shoot it already!

You’re constantly miserable. You think he’s gay. He steals from you and uses you for money. Do you have no self respect?! This is not going to get better or magically change.

Post # 63
Member
19 posts
Newbee

zippy85 :  Based on your response, I guess that means that, yeah, he is still hiding his money and job (and maybe sexual orientation?) from you.

Post # 64
Member
9509 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Get yourself to Al-anon or any place that will help you with boundaries. You have none and you need some.

he sounds like he has a drinking problem and you sound like his care-taker not his wife. They are not the same. This will not change even if he gets a job.  

You will only get what you put up with. If this isn’t cutting it for you, act on that. 

Post # 65
Member
836 posts
Busy bee

zippy85 :  it’s not too late if you don’t want to stay. These things happen. I came close to marrying the wrong man, I just got lucky I got out before the vows were said. Had it not worked out that way, I would have left later married or not. If you don’t want to stay, and don’t think it’s going to work, you don’t have to.  

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