Post # 1
So our wedding is in fifteen days! I’m so excited and cannot wait. We received an email this morning from FI’s uncle that his wife will now not be attending even though she had RSVPed she would be attending…… the reasoning- she’s throwing her teenage twins their birthday party that day. His parents called us to tell us they even got an invite for the birthday party! We sent out save the dates a year ago and invitations for the wedding back in May! Needless to say FI’s mother is pissed. She said the aunt is sending birthday party invites to all the family that she knows for a fact plan on attending our wedding and supposedly giving them a hard time about not being able to come to the party. We are having an adults only (21+) wedding and I know the aunt was mad her kids weren’t invited but seriously you have to have your kids birthday party the exact same day as our wedding?! Our wedding is a Friday evening so it’s not even on a weekend day so she could have definitely have it on the Saturday or Sunday after. I haven’t said anything about it nor do I plan to (unless she actually sends us an invite like hello I’m a little busy getting married that day!) but am I over reacting by being irritated with the aunt?
Post # 2
Holy passive-aggression, Batman. Yes, you are perfectly right to be irritated, however the best revenge is going to be to smile sweetly and pretend you are perfectly happy for her to do what she likes. In the end it is her poor kids who are going to suffer since it’s highly unlikely that anyone is going to pick a teenage party over your wedding. (Well, anyone who you would want to be there, anyway!) Just ignore it and don’t give her the drama she clearly wants.
Post # 3
Is it customary in your parts that if kids are invited, parents also stay?
Post # 4
future.mrs.koban: Wth?! That was a childish and immature move on her part. Your wedding is 15 days away. She knows when the wedding is. She didn’t need to make the birthday party for the same day/evening. You’re right, she had Sat & Sun of that wekeend to have the birthday party on. She’s pissed her kids cant go (although they’re teenagers – not little kids – they don’t need a babysitter), so she is taking it out by throwing the b-day party at the same time. She RSVP yes and then no for a ridiculous reason, that’s a sheer lack of etiquette. If she had such a large issue with not having kids at the wedding, she should have RSVP’d no from the get-go.
I commend you for keeping a cool demeanor and not blowing this out of proportion. I think it’s best to just let this fizzle out. Allow her to sink in her own quick sand. You and your FI will enjoy your upcoming big day 🙂
Post # 5
What age are these cousins? When in their actual bday? Is your FI blood-related to the aunt or the cousins, or just your uncle?
It sounds a bit like she’s miffed her kids didn’t get invited.
Regardless of why she’s done it, I think it’s ok to be irritated.
I can see a situation where circumstances mean that your wedding day is the only suitable day for the party, and a mother choosing her children over a nephew (by marriage?). However, trying to get other family members to choose a bday party over a wedding is a bit much!
That said, don’t engage. Keep on saying nothing.
Post # 6
LOL that seems pretty petty of her – sorry you are dealing with this! Will FI’s uncle be attending?
Post # 7
future.mrs.koban: I would be irritated too. But she comes across as petty and childish, so you win! Laugh behind her back, be civil to her face.
Post # 8
I think you’re allowed to be irritated. But I doubt any of your family will go to the party instead of your wedding, so it should work itself out.
Post # 9
Yup, that’s an aunt throwing a passive-aggressive temper tantrum. No one in their right, etiquette-conscious mind would throw a birthday party for her kids on the same day as a wedding to which she was already invited and knew full well the date and family members attending. That’s ridiculous.
You’re absolutely right in not engaging with her. It already sounds like your FI’s mother is royally upset, so let her fight that battle for you. You just keep on smiling, kill people with kindness, and consider it a blessing in disguise that someone with such a negative attitude won’t be killing the good vibes on your wedding day 🙂
Post # 10
Wow. She is just embarrasing herself… especially when no one shows up to the party. I would be really irritated!
Post # 11
future.mrs.koban: Not over reacting at all! I would be soooo annoyed with her! Good for you for not saying anything. Agree with PPs you can laugh about it with your FI. What a childish thing for your aunt to do hahaha.
Post # 12
GreenBayBee: I would be sorely tempted to send her kids a nice card – along with a fun gift that makes incredibly annoying noises in a perfectly innocent way.
Post # 13
- Wedding: September 2014 - Dallas, TX
She is annoying! I would definitely be irritated too. Ugh, just ignore her. Like PPs said, she’s making herself look petty and passive aggressive. I feel bad for her sons. No one will show for their birthday party because of their mom…
Post # 14
Penang1885: Lol, brilliant!
Post # 15
Penang1885: +1 yeah her plan is likely going to backfire. Also who would want to miss an adult wedding to HOST a teenage party? Ugh!