- 6 years ago
- Wedding: January 2013
Ok bees, please don’t judge, but I feel my very first bridezilla moment bubbling up just under the surface and I need to get it out before I spew hate all over FI’s BM! Please forgive my vent, but also any advance on how to tactfully handle this situation would be much appreciated!
A little back story, FI and I have been engaged for a year now, and are getting married in January. FI asked his BM to be in our wedding pretty much as soon as we were engaged, and BM was super enthusiastic and agreed right away. We have told everyone from even before we were officially be engaged that we would be having a DW, so when BM agreed to stand up for FI he was well aware of this! Since that time, he has had a lot of life changes including finding a new girlfriend, having a baby with her, buying a house and switching jobs. We are so happy for all of his positive life changes, but recognized that this could cause financial difficulties when it comes to attending our wedding. FI has discussed this with BM, and when BM indicated that it would likely be a stretch, FI and I offered to pay all or part of BM and his girlfriend’s trip.
Skip to now, we are about 5 months out, and we cannot get a straight answer out of them as to whether or not they are going to come! I. don’t. get. it. It will cost them nothing to attend (we are paying for all of the wedding party attire on top of offering for their trip), BM IS able to get vacation time….but he is being super elusive. FI has asked him a number of times and he either says he still needs to talk about it more with his girlfriend, or flat out ignores FI. I am getting to the end of my rope with this! I have stuff to plan! Like groomsman attire for a beach wedding in January (as in we need to pick outfits NOW before summer attire is not longer in stock!). If they aren’t going to come that’s fine (I don’t understand it considering it costs them nothing and they have had over a year to plan for it at this point, but it’s fine) but I just need to know either way so that we can compensate by changing the wedding party around if need be!
What do I do bees? Ask FI to give him an ultimatum? Try to speak to him or his girlfriend myself? Help!