Post # 1
So as we have just gotten engaged, FI’s older brother is going through a divorce. He has been one of the kindest people I have ever met and has been so positive and supportive through this process. I am really thankful for all his support (FI made FBIL the best man) but I am wondering how much I should really involve him in the wedding.
Bees, what is the sensitive thing to do? FI claims that having FBIL help with the wedding planning would only make him happy and take his attention off his difficult time. However, I’m still a little worried about it…I don’t really have a clue what is appropriate.
Post # 3
I would have your FI talk to his brother about what he wants to be involved with in the wedding. It’s the only way to prevent hurt feelings I think. If you don’t involve him, he could be upset but if you ask he, he could this it’s insensitive. Therefore, just ask.
Post # 4
Let your FH handle this one. Even if you’re close with his brother, he likely knows him on a much deeper level and will decide what’s best. Maybe being involved in your wedding will take his mind of things; just because he is separating from his wife doesn’t mean he can’t be ecstatic that his brother has found a wife. 🙂
Post # 5
I agree with the PPs. My best friends got married a while back while her sister was going through a divorce. Well, her sister was supposed to be a BM but she backed out a few weeks before the wedding because she couldn’t handle the emotional stress and pain she was enduring. I bet if he wants to help out and be involved, he genuinely wants to. If he didn’t, I am sure he would either back out or you could obviously tell he wasn’t into it…