Post # 1
Okay so me and FI have only been engaged about 5 weeks and yesterday his brother posted an article on fb which was entitled “Diamonds are bullshit” along with this caption “So here is a modest proposal: Let’s agree that diamonds are bullshit and rejecct their role in the process. Let’s admit that as a society we got tricked for about a centuryin coveting sparkling peices of carbon, but it’s time to end the nonsense.”
Edit: here is the article Diamonds Are Bullshit
Now I must say that I am not close with FI’s brother at all, he is living in another country due to reasons i do not want to bring up but lets just say its nothing good. But when he did live here in the states we were friendly and never had any type of issuse.. well at least to my knowledge. Like I mentioned we been engaged for about 5 weeks and his brother has yet to say congratulations to me idk if he has said anything to his brother. FI’s family member that i havent even met yet have called me to congradualte us so why hasnt he?
I’m really upset by the whole thing and really want to post something on fb as a respones. I am fb friends with other members of FI’s family and I’m sure they saw this post by his brother but i dont want them to get the wrong impression of me. I’m not planning to curse him out or anything but just state how hurtful and stupid it was for him to post such a thing 5 weeks after his brother got engaged!! but on the other hand i want to take the high road and just act like I didnt see it. Bees I need advice. HELP!
Side note: FI’s mother has made rude comments before about how stupid it is to spend a whole bunch of money on a ring or on a wedding. For example me and FI went to visit his parents and we were all watching america funniest home videos and a girl passed out while she was being proposed to. We all laughed and then his mother says idk why girls act like that over a ring! to which FI’s dad said its not about the ring its about being surprised. At that point she knew that FI was making payments on a ring but she didnt know i picked it out. This was nasty and hurtful but i never mentioned it to FI. Now I feel like his mother and brother sit around and talk about me. Me and FI have been together for over 9 years and its not like he meet me 6 months ago and i pushed him to buying me a ring. I have never responded to anything but i feel like if i dont stand up for myself now this situatuation is just going to get worst. FI isnt very confrontational and he doesnt say much but i think he needs to say something about this. Sorry for the long post but just needed to get that out!!
Post # 3
@CookieDough_love: I’ve seen a lot of people posting articles about how terrible the diamond industry is over the past week. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a jab at you, especially considering his comment never actually stated anything rude about YOUR engagement. I think it’s probably just bad timing TBH
Post # 4
He was just sharing his opinion on diamonds. Why do you take it as an attack on your engagement? Most guys don’t really care about stuff like their brother getting engaged. At least not enough to go and congratulate the fiance of his brother. My husbands brothers didn’t say anything to me and I didn’t think anything of it. Just because people have a different opinion on diamonds and proposals doesn’t mean they are saying anything about YOU.
Post # 5
@CookieDough_love: everything that people post or say is not about you.
Post # 6
@CookieDough_love: his brother posted an article on fb which was entitled “Diamonds are bullshit” along with this caption “So here is a modest proposal: Let’s agree that diamonds are bullshit and rejecct their role in the process. Let’s admit that as a society we got tricked for about a centuryin coveting sparkling peices of carbon, but it’s time to end the nonsense.”
That’s not saying anything rude about your engagement. That’s stating his opinion on diamonds in general. If he had said, “My brother is an idiot for giving his fiancee a diamond ring” that would be rude to you, but I see nothing wrong with what he posted. If he tagged you or your fiance in the post, that would be a different story.
Post # 8
Meh, I would just ignore it.
Someone I used to work with posted on her Facebook “I’m so glad I’m not stupid enough to get married a second time” about an hour after I changed my status to Engaged on my FB. At first I thought wtf, and then I just laughed it off. Other peoples opinions are not worth getting upset over!
Post # 9
He didn’t post it on your wall.
And to be honest, I agree with him. And your MIL.
Post # 10
That really doesn’t sound like it was about you at all – a lot of people hold the same ideas about diamonds and the diamond industry (I agree with him, even though I *do* want a diamond – there is no denying that they reached their current popularity thanks to slick marketing). I really think you may be overthinking this and internalizing because you’re already upset that he hasn’t said anything about your engagement so far.
I’d honestly do nothing at all. This isn’t about you, and people will have their opinions no matter what – doesn’t effect you 🙂 I reaaaaallly doubt they sit around and talk about you or your engagement ring.
Post # 11
@CookieDough_love: Multiple guys have been posting that article on FB, I wouldn’t take it personally. My SO showed it to me too, haha.
Post # 12
If he posted it to his own wall, then why are you taking it as a personal insult? If he posted it on you or your FI’s wall, then yes, it was a jab at you, but otherwise I think you’re overreacting.
Post # 13
@Birdee106: The fact that he has a different opinon isnt the problem. The problem is he posted something nasty and rude! His brother worked hard to be able to put this ring on my finger and now he basically calling him stupid. Not nice and didnt need to be posted on fb, I never said he wasnt entitled to his opinion… My issue is him posting it on fb as a clear dig.
Post # 14
@CookieDough_love: Girl, you got off easy! My best friend’s boyfriend who is supposed to propose ANY SECOND NOW just posted a similar article on facebook… imagine how THAT would make you feel!
Post # 15
don’t stoop to his level – he might want to start trouble – don’t let him. by not responding you are showing him that anything he says cannot ruffle your feathers and that what he thinks doesn’t matter.
don’t contribute to a situation where people can say that you are fighting with fi’s family etc. just let it go and take comfort that you are being the classier, bigger person. that won’t go unnoticed.
Post # 16
While I do think it was probably meant to hurt your feelings, don’t play into it. By allowing yourself to get upset, you are giving him all the power. That’s exactly what he wants. If you post a response you will look like an immature brat. Just let it go, act like it never happened, and be the bigger person. Don’t start a family war over a FB post. TOTALLY NOT WORTH IT