FI's brother posted something rude about our engagment… what should I do?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
  • poll:
    Yes, post a response : (5 votes)
    2 %
    No, dont post a response : (111 votes)
    45 %
    Lets FI talk to his brother : (18 votes)
    7 %
    Just act like it never happend : (113 votes)
    46 %
  • Post # 3
    3089 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @CookieDough_love:  I’ve seen a lot of people posting articles about how terrible the diamond industry is over the past week.  I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a jab at you, especially considering his comment never actually stated anything rude about YOUR engagement.  I think it’s probably just bad timing TBH

    Post # 4
    3237 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    He was just sharing his opinion on diamonds. Why do you take it as an attack on your engagement? Most guys don’t really care about stuff like their brother getting engaged. At least not enough to go and congratulate the fiance of his brother. My husbands brothers didn’t say anything to me and I didn’t think anything of it. Just because people have a different opinion on diamonds and proposals doesn’t mean they are saying anything about YOU.

    Post # 6
    3731 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @CookieDough_love:  his brother posted an article on fb which was entitled “Diamonds are bullshit” along with this caption “So here is a modest proposal: Let’s agree that diamonds are bullshit and rejecct their role in the process. Let’s admit that as a society we got tricked for about a centuryin coveting sparkling peices of carbon, but it’s time to end the nonsense.”

    That’s not saying anything rude about your engagement. That’s stating his opinion on diamonds in general. If he had said, “My brother is an idiot for giving his fiancee a diamond ring” that would be rude to you, but I see nothing wrong with what he posted. If he tagged you or your fiance in the post, that would be a different story.

    Post # 7
    2400 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Let it go girl.

    Post # 8
    2460 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Meh, I would just ignore it.

    Someone I used to work with posted on her Facebook “I’m so glad I’m not stupid enough to get married a second time” about an hour after I changed my status to Engaged on my FB. At first I thought wtf, and then I just laughed it off. Other peoples opinions are not worth getting upset over!

    Post # 9
    10384 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    He didn’t post it on your wall.

    And to be honest, I agree with him. And your MIL.


    Post # 10
    2766 posts
    Sugar bee

    That really doesn’t sound like it was about you at all – a lot of people hold the same ideas about diamonds and the diamond industry (I agree with him, even though I *do* want a diamond – there is no denying that they reached their current popularity thanks to slick marketing). I really think you may be overthinking this and internalizing because you’re already upset that he hasn’t said anything about your engagement so far.

    I’d honestly do nothing at all. This isn’t about you, and people will have their opinions no matter what – doesn’t effect you 🙂 I reaaaaallly doubt they sit around and talk about you or your engagement ring.

    Post # 11
    1303 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    @CookieDough_love:  Multiple guys have been posting that article on FB, I wouldn’t take it personally.  My SO showed it to me too, haha.

    Post # 12
    409 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    If he posted it to his own wall, then why are you taking it as a personal insult? If he posted it on you or your FI’s wall, then yes, it was a jab at you, but otherwise I think you’re overreacting.

    Post # 14
    353 posts
    Helper bee

    @CookieDough_love:  Girl, you got off easy! My best friend’s boyfriend who is supposed to propose ANY SECOND NOW just posted a similar article on facebook… imagine how THAT would make you feel!

    Post # 15
    2302 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    don’t stoop to his level – he might want to start trouble – don’t let him. by not responding you are showing him that anything he says cannot ruffle your feathers and that what he thinks doesn’t matter. 

    don’t contribute to a situation where people can say that you are fighting with fi’s family etc. just let it go and take comfort that you are being the classier, bigger person. that won’t go unnoticed.

    Post # 16
    3570 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    While I do think it was probably meant to hurt your feelings, don’t play into it.  By allowing yourself to get upset, you are giving him all the power.  That’s exactly what he wants.  If you post a response you will look like an immature brat.  Just let it go, act like it never happened, and be the bigger person.  Don’t start a family war over a FB post.  TOTALLY NOT WORTH IT

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