Post # 1
FI’s dad passed away a long time ago (when FI was 7) and we are looking for a way to incorporate him into the wedding…I already have a handkerchief (sp?) that was his dads, he doesnt know I have it and I am going to give it to him on the morning of the wedding but I wanted a way to have a way to incorporate something into the actual ceremony. Do you have any ideas that you could share if you have gone through something similar? Thanks for your help…..
Post # 3
@LauraRose: Hi there. There are a couple of sweet ways to remember him.
1.) have an empty chair with a picture frame and a rose sitting on the chair in the place he would have sat.
2.) have a memorial table by the ceremony with a picture of him and a candle that you can have the Officiant light and add this into the ceremony:
At this time we would like to bring to mind all of those who could not be here with us physically but are here with us in spirit. The joy they share with B & G will reflect in the love everyone here has for this couple on their special day.
3.) You can say the above and have a family member or the soon to be husband release a balloon to the heavens as a memorial balloon.
Just some ideas 🙂
Post # 4
@LauraRose: You can maybe set up a picture of him and a candle and have a sign or something say in loving memory of those not with us. I’m thinking of doing this with my mom.
Post # 5
Ooooh I love the idea of the empty chair! That actually made my eyes water thinking of that, we are having a destination wedding in Jamiaca on the beach so I just dont know if the candle would get blown out or something that would not be good…..definitely we’ll have a pic of him was just trying to find ways to incorporate it! Thanks Ladies
Post # 6
I’m sorry to hear that. I’m getting married on my great grandparents wedding anniversary in memory, they got married in the 40s so I’m having 40’s inspired details and I’m carrying a locket in my bouquet with their pictures.
We’re going to hopefully sing one of nanas favourite hymns and then at the reception we’ll have a memory table with their wedding picture and some flowers for their anniversary in heaven.
The chair thing could be nice or maybe you could carry a locket? So it’s secret and personal…
Post # 7
My dad passed away when I was 7 as well. I’m 25 now and thought what we would do so just a toast in his honour. After 18 years I feel it would be best to do something simple, suttle and tasteful.
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
This is in our programs:
“We’d like to thank our family for all their love and support which made us who we are, and brought us to this special day.
…Our friends, with whom we experience life’s joys, and whom we hope will be a part of our lives throughout the years to come.
…And those whose memory we forever preserve in our hearts: (LIST OF NAMES HERE.)”
At one friend’s wedding, her Dad was mentioned when her Mom did the toast- a sweet way to honor him, without having it be sad.
Post # 9
My dad passed, and I’ll have a locket with a photo of us in my bouquet, a memorial mention of him in the program, and a memorial table (which will have a memorial vase which will hold by bouquet after the ceremony, framed photos, and a candle). Since it’s your FI’s dad, does he have any of his father’s jewelry? Like maybe he could wear his dad’s cufflinks (I might see if my FI will wear my dad’s cufflinks). The empty chair idea just makes me sad, but I love the balloon idea. I’ve never heard of that. If we weren’t doing an Episcopal ceremony (which follows the prayer book, without additions), I would consider doing that.
Post # 10
@LauraRose: buy a battery operated LED candle. It works just the same 🙂
Good luck! Sometimes little touches mean the most 🙂
Post # 11
While all of those ideas are really beautiful, please make sure your FI is ok with it before you do something. Maybe not the handkerchief part, if that’s just the two of you. My dad passed when I was 11. It still gets really difficult around holidays, his birthday, etc. I think the hard part is how the pain of that loss can sneak up on you sometimes. I know my sister hates father-daughter dances for that reason. She forgot they existed and got blindsided by it at a wedding she attended. It just made her feel so sad; she had trouble enjoying herself afterwards. She and her husband remembered our dad at their wedding by having flowers in his name at the altar. It was important to her that everyone remember him that day, but in a subtle enough way that she wouldn’t be overwhelmed.
I think it is so wonderful that you want to do this for your FI. It is incredibly thoughful, and I’m sure he will be touched. I only am recommending letting him in on anything he will suddenly see at the wedding. If he’s surprised by grief, it will be hard for him to concentrate on such a happy time, and he might be sorry he missed focusing on an important moment. I don’t even want to think about what I would do if there were a surprise picture in a chair at my wedding. I would not handle it well.
You seem like such a caring person; I’m sure you’ll find the perfect way to remember him!
Post # 12
My FI dad passed a year and a half ago. He is still very sensitive on this subject so we are going to simply honour him in our ceremony program.
I love the other ideas up top and we did discuss them, however, it is really up to FI on his wedding day how he would like to remember dad.
I know that Fathers Day was very tough for my FI and so I got a bottle of wine and we kicked back and laughed, cried…
It is very thoughtful of you to include this man who will be there in spirit 🙂
Post # 13
My had also passed before the wedding, as well as his grandparents. We had words in thier memory spoken during the ceremony.
Post # 14
Thanks Ladies for all your wonderful suggestions, I just want to be clear that FI does know about doing something at the ceremony, he wants to do something we just weren’t sure what to do, he knows Im on here asking you lovely ladies for ideas. Thanks again!
Post # 15
Marking this to come back to later. FI’s Mom will be gone two years when we have our wedding, so I’d love to see suggestions of how to honor her.
Post # 16
My brother passed away 2 months before our wedding and we commemorated him with a lantern on the signing table and his boutonniere beside it.