Post # 1
So my FI is kind of freaking out because apparently his dad wants to go to his bachelor party. He doesn’t want to do anything gross or raunchy (he HATES strippers and strip clubs and all of that nonsense, thinks it’s vile – bless his heart). His ideal scenario would be poker night and beers and sports with his guy friends. He’s a simple guy. His best man wants to do some sort of night on the town in NYC (no strip clubs allowed, per the FI’s request), which my FI would do even though I think he’d prefer something more low key. BUT he just emailed me saying that he talked to his mom and apparently his Dad wants them to go out of town and do something. So not only is he kind of weirded out that his Dad wants to be there, but now he’s throwing his two cents in about what they should do. FI doesn’t know how to deal.
Anyone’s FI dealt with this? I personally think it’s bizarro his Dad wants to go. It’s not like they are BFF or anything. They have the typical father/son relationship. And OMG if my mom was like "I’m coming to your bachelorette party" I would laugh in her face and pat her on the head and say absolutely not.
Post # 3
That is weird.
Is it possible that his dad wants to do just a father/son trip before he gets married? Could your FH suggest that as an alternative?
My Mom mentioned coming to my BP. I brushed it off and I’m hoping she’ll forget!
Post # 4
I actually think it’s totally normal. And I’ll probably want my mom and FMIL there for some of my bachelorette party, too. I think your FI should do what HE wants to do, and if his dad wants to come then he should allow it. Poker night, beers, and sports sounds like a great, non-threatening idea. I say screw what the Best Man and dad want to do, it’s not their wedding. But if his dad really wants to be there, I think it should be ok.
Post # 5
aw, thats so cute actually his dad wants to go, yeah if I were FI I would feel mortified
good luck on this one
Post # 6
I wouldn’t have a problem with it. My cousin had his dad, his FFIL and my dad all attend his bachelor party, they just did a pub crawl and dinner and had a blast.
I’ve also been to a bachelorette where the bride’s mom and FMIL were there too and it was super fun.
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall
I think that Mr. MJ would love to do something with his dad – but he’s also a really low-key guy. So it’s not like he’d be taking his dad out to strip clubs or anything either.
Post # 8
I think its fairly normal to include parents in at least part of the activities. They could have a drink and a game of poker at home with dad there and then out on the town with the boys only.
Post # 9
yeah, another vote for it being quite normal.
However I know my FI’s dad will not want to go out with them but MY dad probably will, and my Fi would love it (he loves my dad! cause he is very lovable – LIKE ME!! haha)
My mom is probably going to go to my bachellorette party, I haveno issues with it either
So he comes, whos to say he will stay all night?
Post # 10
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
You guys think this is NORMAL??? No it isn’t! Especially if he doesn’t want him there!!
He should tell his dad that it’s just for him and his friends, and schedule some alternate bonding time with his dad.
Post # 11
He’s now contemplating doing a boys dinner separately from the party and inviting his friends, their dads, his dad, my dad for some steaks and bromance or whatever men do when they are together. I like the idea. And my dad loves steak So maybe this will get him off the hook for the actual bachelor party.
I’m surprised that so many people say this is normal. Maybe it’s a regional thing. As always, though, it’s so interesting to see how many different perspectives there are on this stuff!
Post # 12
My father went to my brother’s bachelor party when he got married a few years back – and they went to Vegas. I can only imagine what that was like – actually I’d rather not imagine, that’s my brother and father, gross.
I thought it was strange at the time, not because it was my brother’s bachelor party but because my dad’s more of the ‘stay at home and watch home renovation shows/golf on TV’ type. I never asked my brother if he thought it was weird, although he’d definitely be the type to say so.
They came up with a good compromise. I’m thinking of doing that for my bachelorette party – a daytime/early evening event for everyone, then a night out on the town with my friends.
Post # 13
Most of the bach parties I’ve known, have included the fathers and older relatives, strippers or not. Icould see his dad feeling a bit hurt. If Fi wanted to just be with his friends, can he accommodate his dad by doing something with just him, or having a second bach party including all his male family members?
Post # 14
I thought it was weird at first reading (on various blogs) about everyones parents being involved in the bachelor/bachelorette parties, until my own mother and aunt wanted to know when/where mine was. I think its just a matter of parents wanting to be involved and having a good time with their kids. They were young once too and I think its just another way for them to live through us. I’m not planning my bachelorette though so I have no idea when or if I’m even having one since my MOH lives in Colorado.
Compromising sounds like a good idea. The FI should at least invite his dad to dinner and drinks so that he doesnt feel left out of the fun.
Post # 15
Wow, I had no idea that parental types were so common at bachelorette parties. (I’ve been to 3 weddings in my entire life as a result of having moved to the other side of the country and a wage slave while my extended fam was getting hitched. So my ideas about weddings mostly come from movies.)
That’s awesome, though, because thinking about it, I’d love to have my mother at my bachelorette party. And my aunts. They’re hilarious. My mother’s the life of the party, even at 52. We’d be way more likely to come home with some funny stories if we brought her – I tend to be prim and proper.
Post # 16
I think it is totally normal that the groom’s dad wants to go to the Bachelor party; hell, a lot of bachelor parties even include the bride’s groom! It doesn’t sound like he is demanding they do this or that but maybe just giving a suggestion in case it wasn’t thought about?
Either way, I don’t think it is big deal.