(Closed) FI’s ex sent a facebook message…why do women do this?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5978 posts
Bee Keeper

Wow…how did your FI respond to her, or did he just ignore it? What’s with this girl? She also is trying to sound overly poetic, and that would just irk me that much more about her. The whole general tone of her note just plain annoys me. I don’t blame you for being as annoyed with her as you are!

Post # 4
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@FutureMrsBondo: It’s very weird she’s reaching out after so much time, but her message seems rather non-threatening.

I’ve tried to reconnect with people I haven’t talked to in a long time (not usually ex’s but one was) and it was more because I remembered them fondly and wondered why we ever stopped being friends. Although it would never be that flower/poetic. More of a hey, randomly thought of you, how you been.

Were they good friends before they dated? Or was it always just a dating relationship?

I’m glad your FI shared this with you right away, but I’m not 100% sure it’s a true attempt by her to “get back together” with him and replace you. Maybe she’s just really lonely and has lost a lot of friends and is trying WAY too hard to find friends again.

Although I could be wrong, it could solely be her being manipulative and trying to steal your FI away.

Either way it’s very strange.

Post # 5
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

EWWW. I hate girls.

She is stupid- she took a long time to right that, its obvious. If she really just wanted to know how he was doing. She would have just said Hey! congrats! how have you been?

Nothing you can do about it, some girls just suck, seems like FI def Loves you and did the right thing tho, thats all that matters really 😉

Post # 6
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@2PeasinaPod: I completely agree about the trying to sound overly poetic. It’s SO annoying!

Post # 7
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@2PeasinaPod: You took the words out of my mouth. The wording she used is pretty annoying….LOL. “in another bit of oddness” *puke* 

Post # 8
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@FutureMrsBondo: Well this isn’t what you were looking for, but the letter is very well written. 🙂 It seems to me that she might just be looking for a friend. If he doesn’t want that then he should just respond and tell her he’s not interested and let that be that.

Post # 10
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I know it sounds weird, but there are times I would love to have the courage to reach out to some of my past friends (including ex’s) and see how they’re doing, even though I am 100% happily married and I’m positive they have moved on as well.

I definitely wouldn’t do it in a 5 paragraph rambly overly-emotional facebook posting though.

Also, I wouldn’t expect to truly “reconnect’ with them, just catch up every once and a while. I wonder what she thinks the best possible outcome is for her (besides him leaving you for her)? It’s not like they’re going to start a weekly movie-night or something…

Post # 11
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Ugh! Stupid b*tches.

My only advice is put it out of your mind. Have FH block her on facebook and make no communication with her. After 5 years of dating my FH we are finally (fingers crossed) free of his psycho ex. The biggest mistake we made was “feeding” her things to respond to. FH called her once to confront her on her crazyness and that seemed to bump it to new levels. Just ignore!

EDIT: I do not believe this is a harmless attempt at re-connecting as friends. This girl tried to get back with your SO after you started dating, that screams trick to me.

Post # 11
Member
2548 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Actually I don;t find this too wierd. It depends on what their relationship was before dating I guess. I mean I have thought about my exs, and wondered how they were doing, just out of curiosity, nothing more, as I am in LOVE with my fiance. I would never have the balls to write them years later though. Anyways, its great your fiance respects your feelings, you seem to have a good man, don;t let this ex bother you too much.

Post # 11
Member
5658 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

Your FI should just ignore a message like that. If you contact her back, it’ll just feed the flames.

Post # 12
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You know, sometimes people just simply miss the people that they once shared their life with. That doesn’t mean that there are romantic feeilngs or that she is covertly trying to tell him that she wants to be with him or steal him away from you.

Personally, I think that assuming she wants him back or what have you is over reaching. Don’t be the paranoid, jealous girlfriend… it gets ugly if your wrong about her know what I mean?

Post # 13
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

THAT was one of the more passive aggressive, fakely disinterested messages I’ve ever read. What’s strange is she gives nothing in it about her current life, as I would do if I was connecting with an ex with the intentions of simply finding out what’s new. I did that three days ago, we exchanged numbers, but it never felt awkward like this. DO you know anyone who also knows her to find out if she’s ok or just picking now to reunite? There’s always the off chance that something’s horrible in her life and she’s reaching out. I’m glad you and your FI have an open communication policy. 

Post # 14
Member
1493 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Delete, ignore, and block would be my actions. Holy crap, that girl sounds like other pathetic exes I’ve heard trying to pine their way back into someone’s life. All I see is “Oh look, we had a great past, it’s over, I miss you, and oh you’re engaged.” Your FI needs to block the crap out of this girl. I smell trouble.

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