Post # 1
So my FMIL is VERY excited about the wedding and offered to pay for the flowers. I obviously accepted her offer as I could see how excited she was about it, but I’m worried about their budget. I have a very specific vision of what I want, and while I don’t want to ask for too much, I also don’t want to make any major concessions. I think flowers are such an integral part of the decor, and it needs to be right. I’m not trying to bridezilla it up on the flowers, but I know what I like.
I’ve asked my FI to get an estimate out of his parents just so I can see what we are dealing with here but he hasn’t yet, which is frustrating me. He keeps just being like OH she’ll do whatever you want… but I NEED A NUMBER FROM THEM, at least a ballpark figure. I’m willing to cover it if it gets too much for them but first I need to know what too much is! FI is not being helpful with this (although with everything else he is perfection). I don’t think they get that flowers are expensive and so they aren’t really thinking about it, but it’s important and I don’t know how to impress this upon the FI and get him to get er done.
Post # 3
Maybe you could just discuss it directly with with your FMIL? Since it seems like your FI doesn’t think it’s that important (he probably doesn’t realize just how expensive they can be either). Just tell her you would like to research florists and were wondering what the ballpark figure was.
Post # 4
I think you could either do what mandalynn suggested and ask her for a ballpark figure or you could shop around for a florist you like first and get a few quotes and bring them back to her and see what she says. If the quote comes back higher than what she wanted to pay then maybe you could kick in the rest if those flowers are really what you want.
Post # 5
I just feel SO awkward talking about money with her. With my parents it’s like whatever – I’ve been asking them for money for years. We are all used to it. But, I don’t know, I’m just not really comfortable enough with her yet to have that convo I don’t think. At the same time, she is a LOVELY woman, SO sweet, and she loves me, so I know it would be fine… but there’s that part of me that is nervous about it. I don’t want to come off as a brat or spoiled or anything just because she may not know how expensive wedding flowers are (and I really don’t think she does).
Post # 6
I totally understand where you are coming from. I feel the same way about my FMIL but I would have a hard time talking "money" with her.
I don’t think that your FI understands how important this is to you. You should sit him down some night (not in the midst of a disagreement or when you are talking other wedding stuff) and just tell him how important it is to you and that you love his mom and are so happy and thankful she is doing this for you, but you need a ballpark figure. Tell him the reasons why you want him to get it. If he doesn’t understand just tell him that’s fine, but you just need him to do this for you. I have had a similar talk (not about the same issue but about something that was important to me) with my FI and he totally understood.