Post # 1
Is anyone else having this same situation? My FI talked to his mom tonight about who they’d want to invite, and they ended up deciding on just his grandparents and one uncle. While I understand that he has a different relationship with extended family (he’s not close at all with most aunts/uncles/cousins, whereas I grew up with mine), I feel really weird about this! I come from a fairly large family, and my family invites will probably come to about 50. I expect he will invite more friends than I will (he’s the kind of guy who’s best friends with everyone, while I have a few really close friends). He says it doesn’t bother him at all – he understands that I’m close with exteded family and can’t imagine getting married without them all there – but it kind of bothers me.
Am I overreacting about this, or should I talk to him and see if there’s more to this issue – he has more aunts and uncles who won’t be invited, as well as close family friends, and I wonder if he’ll regret it if we get to the wedding day and he has so few family members there.
Post # 4
I am your husband. Lol.
If he’s comfortable with the guest list and fine w/ the family vs friends #s, then I wouldn’t read too much into it. I haven’t seen some of my aunts/uncles/cousins in years, so they’re not invited, while Mr.ND’s dad’s niece and her 4 kids and husband are invited. Their side just loves all their family, and that family’s family, etc etc infinity 🙂 “My cousin ‘X'” could actually mean my 2nd cousin once removed by marriage to them, but they treat them all the same. I’d rather have my 6 spots for close, supportive friends (and I’ve got just as many to match all of Mr.ND’s family invites). It’s just a personal preference and the level of relationships and bonds I have built with friends.
As long as you aren’t fighting over the numbers and you’re both understanding of the fact that you have different wants when it comes to support on the big day (family vs friends), I think it’s all good. I totally get his approach to it…I’m not bothered if my side isn’t full of family, I’d rather have it filled with friends that are like family to me.
Post # 5
I think it’s pretty normal. DH had 40 guests to my 80. If he doesn’t feel bad about it then niether should you.
Post # 6
I think it’s a little weird not to invite them! Both my brothers didn’t invite all of my cousins and I didn’t like it. Maybe there’s some family drama going on behind the scenes that you don’t know about? In the end it’s his family and if he doesn’t feel like having them there, then don’t push the issue. He must have his reasons.
Post # 7
@indibee: That’s pretty much what he said about it – I think I’m just overthinking it! He’s not the “bottle things up” type – if he minded, he’d tell me, it would just bother me.
@Meealissa: I think for him, it’s not about drama, but more that he just isn’t close to extended family at all. He hasn’t seen some of them in years. I just know for my family, it would be weird.