- 3 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
I’m a regular bee. I made an anonymous account because, as you will read, I’m not sure what is secure and what isn’t. I don’t mind if other bees realize who I am – I’m mostly concerned about people outside of the bee.
My FI’s family is nuts.
- My FI’s father is an alcoholic, abusive narcissist
- FI’s younger sister, we’ll call her sister A, is a psychopath (abused cats, has falsely accused two men of rape and is going to be legally pursuing one, fakes illnesses all the time, was emotionally and physically abusive to FI’s nieces, stalker her older sister – the mother of these children, etc.)
- FI’s older brother is a clone of his father
- FI’s mother is in denial about it all
- FI and his older sister had pretty much been the two normal ones holding everything together.
FI and his older sister, we’ll call her sister B, decided to cut all of these people off after some seriously messed up sh*t went down. Of course in the lives of FI’s family, all hell broke loose.
After this, FI and I got engaged and were pretty happy with no contact. Of course we worry about his mother, and we felt guilty, so I e-mailed her saying that we would like to have her involved in the wedding. She responded before, but once I mentioned the wedding she didn’t respond back. Okay, whatever.
So I realized that she didn’t really care that much and we went on with our wedding plans not feeling guilty.
This past week, FI got a strange letter from his mother (which his older sister believes that she sent while drunk based on the messy handwriting – normally it is very neat). It was vindictive, threatening, and then randomly at some points pseudo-caring. I showed it to a friend and my mom because I didn’t want to read it and they thought it was just completely f-ed up.
We wondered why she sent this letter. We found out then – sister B and her kids went over to their house because she felt like they needed to talk to them. I don’t necessarily agree with her decision, but I’m trying to see the blessing in disguise in this situation instead of being upset with her.
FI’s mom was questioning the kids “why didn’t I get an invitation to the wedding????” and was going CRAZY on them. The oldest of the kids said “well the wedding isn’t for another year…” FI’s mom also said that they heard about a major change in our plans (major location change) but we hadn’t told anyone yet…
FI’s sister said that their mom was so in denial that when she was speaking you could tell that she was forcing herself to believe what she was saying.
Then we heard about the new false rape allegations by sister A, FI’s brother’s new divorce, etc.
Anyway – we find out that they are getting information because FI’s brother is literally creeping around on this internet stalking us. Yeah. I kind of had a feeling about this.
I just feel like I’m going crazy… We have a wedding website that isn’t able to be found through google but it isn’t password protected. We got STDs printed with no password, so that is why it is open. But it FI’s family would need the exact URL to find our website and if someone gave them the URL they would also give the password.
FI says, “well I doubt they would show up at the wedding anyway… they’re too cowardly”… but I say, “UM… I DON’T WANT THEM HAVING ALL OF OUR INFO. IT. IS. CREEPY.”
If we didn’t have stuff online, they would still hear things from the two siblings of his parents that still speak to them. (FI’s dad is 1 of 11 and only one sibling speaks to him – FI’s mom is 1 of 4 and only one sibling speaks to her). These people don’t seem to get that they shouldn’t do that because they believe that we should just “try to get along” even though they say they “know that FI’s parents are a**holes”. WHY?
UGH. We’re blessed that FI has so many supportive aunts and uncles on his dad’s side, and we’re also blessed to have so many wonderful friends.
I love my FI so much, but sometimes I just want this all to go away. I know FI is worth it, but it doesn’t keep me from thinking about it.
My friends tell me to let FI deal with it and it is his family, it isn’t mine so it isn’t my issue. But this is my wedding and my privacy that they are invading.
I wanted his mother to be involved because I know that she is a good woman deep down, but she is really shooting herself in the foot and I wonder if she realizes it.
That was a big ramble fest… I just can’t even begin to go into every detail… I am just going nuts. Why can’t they just stay the f**k out of our lives????