Post # 1
Granted its because our names are close in spelling and sound. FI’s ex wife is Kerry and Im Kelly. They arent doing it on purpose but when we are all together or we are at a function I end up getting called by her name in all the excitement. Also there is another Kerry in their family and they end up calling her by my name and me by her name as well. They always apologize, and they really dont mean it, but he was married to his ex for 12 years.
I was discussing it with FI and said perhaps I should start going by my middle name and having them call me that. This way no confusion and no one has to be worried about offending anyone.
Is this possible? Is this a good idea. My FMIL actually asked me what my middle name was so that she could call me that. I like my middle name, but I dont know if FI and everyone could get used to calling me that.
Any suggestions would be helpful.
If anyone is going to suggest just calling me K, we cant because daughter is Kennedy and we call her k for short.
Post # 3
Idk if I would switch to my middle name. It sucks they keep slipping but practice makes perfect! They’re going to have to get used to you and your name!
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
Ugh that would definitely irk me… if you are okay with them using your middle name then by all means sure, but if not, I agree with pp, they have plenty of time to get your name right, just keep correcting them!
Post # 5
@PinkPinstripes: They are always genuinely sorry that they call me by her name…it also doesnt help that the other Kerry is also a cousin and we see her at family functions, so when we are both there they switch our names…
@elysion: It was irksome at first, but then I realized they werent doing it out of spite. Also FI has children with his ex that we raise and have custody of and of course FI talks with his kids about their mom.
The worst was after he proposed to me and we were talking by text and he said I cant wait for you to become Mrs. Kerry K. I freaked and he profusely apologized and said it was accidental. He has never called me Kerry again, and he grimaces everytime they call me by her name.
Post # 6
Ugh, that sucks. I used to get that from my ex’s family too – his ex was named Shelly and I’m Kelly (like you) – I got called Shelly a lot.
Honestly I just let it go, and eventually when I was around for a while it stopped.
Whoa – just read the part about your FI calling you her name, yiiiikes. Hope he felt like a big dummy for that one! At least they’re all apologetic, it really does sound like honest mistakes, sometimes brains just do things like that.
Post # 7
@TexasSpringBride: I think it is a good idea to go with your middle name if it bothers you a lot. Everyone will eventually get used to it.
Post # 8
I would understand how and why it would bother you, but if it were me I wouldn’t go by my middle name I would just try to tough it out. After they say it they are realizing it and apologizing so I have faith that after a while longer they will get it right.
Post # 9
Wear a big huge giant nametag whenever you are around them and then just point to it and smile whenever they screw up.
Or maybe carry a big foghorn thing and blow it when they call you the wrong name. They’ll be so scared for you to blow that thing in their ear, they’ll never make the mistake!!!
Post # 10
My Future in laws slip and call me FI’s ex gf’s name. They were together for 5 years and I guess old habbits die hard. FI and I joked that I should wear a name tag 😉
I think you just have to give it time, eventually they’ll get used to it!
Post # 11
That sucks. I’m sure with time they will stop. I’m glad you don’t take it personally
Not that your FI has to but has he said anything to his family? I’m wondering if he says anything it might make things awkward. It’s probably better to just let this pass and soon enough this will be an issue of the past. Although I do understand why you feel the need to vent about it. Good luck!
Post # 12
I wouldn’t go by your middle name. Since your names are so similar it’s understandable that they’d mix it up from time to time. Next time they call you by ex-w’s name, just remind them politely and say “You mean Kelly, not Kerry!” It will take a little time but they’ll get it straight, but if you don’t correct them they may not even be aware of what they’re saying.
Post # 13
Maybe your H needs to learn, perform and sing you the “Kelly song” in front of everyone and they will surely remember that.