FI's irritable about wedding planning

posted 3 years ago in Houston
Post # 3
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

He’s probably just a typical man who doesn’t want to do much of the wedding planning. I would keep quiet about it unless you really need his input for something.

Post # 5
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

It sucks, and I’m sure it hurts, but try to look at it more objectively – he asked you to marry him, so obviously he wants to marry you! I don’t think I’ve ever met a man that cared about wedding details, as much as they loved their future wives.

Post # 6
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

You’re not alone with your FI really not being all that interested in the planning, it is a harsh reality that most of us must face. 

Over time things can calm down. Some tips tho: (that have at least worked for me)

1. Don’t bother him with every little thing you find, yes its cute but when you are still looking at 50 others he is not going to care and you really can’t blame him. 

2. Be concious of your balance of wedding talk vs. normal life talk. Yes wedding planning world may be all that’s on your mind but you still do have a relationship and need to maintain that as well. 

3. My general rule of thumb, have things narrowed down to one-three options then get his input, and really listen. If you go with a different option after he says he likes one he isn’t going to see the reasoning in giving you input.

4. Have at least a day or two that is no wedding talk. (more if you can stand it, but don’t flood him with too much at once either)

5. Just be patient, to a lot of guys getting married is just that. In the end he probably knows he will be happy with whatever you decide, just remember that.

6. When all all fails, vent to us bee’s 😀

Post # 7
Member
1631 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@albamiranda28:  I only talk to mine about his specific ‘chores’ for the wedding. I gave him a few things to accomplish and he is in charge of them.

I asked him to make sure him and his groomsmen are dressed (I found the suits) and he is in charge of the bar. He has to construct the physical bar and then get all the drinks, ice, etc. (I took care of the bartender)

I know it doesn’t seem like much but he is helping in other ways here and there – but the main thing is that I don’t run to him with every choice.

‘Burlap or Lace’
‘Tulips or Roses’
‘Cream or off-white’
‘Round tables or banquet tables’

Guys don’t care – they aren’t into it. This party planning stuff is ours and our alone (unless you have a rarity who is super involved).

Enjoy the freedom of it. Embrace it 🙂 Have fun! Tell him the big things like ‘Hey I got a us a caterer – she is serving Roast your fav!’ Otherwise give him some space 🙂

Post # 8
Member
1631 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

P.S. It’s why the Bee exists – so you don’t feel alone in this 🙂

Post # 12
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@albamiranda28:  this sucks. My advice would be to lay off the planning talk with him and only bring it up if it’s something really important or if it really excites you and you want to share. 

I didn’t realise I was making my guy crazy with wedding talk until we had an arguement about it. I cut back and only bring up certain things and I’ve spaced out the planning so that we both enjoy it now! 

When I want to gush over details or talk a lot about the planning I have coffee dates with my mother or my girlfriends! Or come here to the hive 😉

Post # 13
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

No prob 🙂 More then happy to help another future bride avoid the same kind of things I’ve been though already with my SO. 

Feel fee to shoot me a PM anytime, I’m around the bee several times a week. 

Post # 16
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

@albamiranda28: Glad to hear things are going much smoother for you! 

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