Post # 1
We all have friends from different parts of our lives. How do you deal with FI’s or SO’s friends that you don’t like as much?
FI has a good friend from years ago that seems pretty different in terms of moral character and approach to life. I guess his loyalty to FI is a good quality, but the other goings on in his life are less savory. My house is somewhat small and slightly messy, so I’m reluctant to have people stay over other than FI who has now moved in. FI’s friend has asked a few times if he can crash at our place, knowing I’m not really for it. FI has been respectful of my viewpoint, but I do feel a little bad for putting a wedge between the two of them. However, we’re all grown ups, and it’s time for FI’s friend to grow up! Thoughts?
Post # 2
craigslistgirl: when it comes to “liking” their friends – ehh I wasn’t really that fond of some of my FI’s either but I put a smile on just to make him Happy. LIVING with us would be a totally different story. You can put your foot down on that one. Just so long as you abide by the same rules for your friends!
Post # 3
craigslistgirl: what does he mean by “crash?” Like, crash on the couch for a night after drinking so he doesn’t have to drive home, or crash for days or a week at a time for the hell of it?
If it’s the former, then I’m not sure why it would be a big deal as long as it’s sporatic. If his morals are questionable and he wants to stay with you guys because he’s not responsible enough to secure and hold down his own living arrangements, then I would not want him to crash…that’s an open ended invitation to getting taken advantage of.
Post # 4
I can’t fathom any of my DH’s friends asking to “crash” at our house. But thankfully they are all at the point where they have wives and kids and appoint a designated driver before they go out.
Post # 5
craigslistgirl: polyblonde: one of my FI’s “less than savoury friends” crashed on my sofa when he was drunk. Once. And he pissed himself. Now, nobody crashes here, hahaha!
Post # 6
We’re in our 40’s – the crashing phase ended long ago. That’s what cabs are for! I don’t like having people in our tiny condo – it’s too crowded with more than 2 people.
Post # 7
craigslistgirl: My dh’s friends have never crashed at our place. He does have some I’m not the biggest fan of but I kill them with kindness
Post # 8
craigslistgirl: We have the same friends.
Post # 9
craigslistgirl: Maybe I’m just hospitable but I’m fine with any of our friends crashing for a night for whatever reason. We live in an area where most of the entertainment is so I typically offer if I know my friends are out drinking – or we’re out with them.
Now “crashing” for an extended period of time? Hell no.
Post # 10
polyblonde: To clarify, he lives about a 1-2 hour drive from us, and prior to FI moving in, he would stay at FI’s bachelor pad and just hang out for the entire weekend every few months. They don’t even do anything productive or eventful, just tv and beer. He has never been in a committed relationship. I think he’s just trying to hang on to one of his good, previously single, friends, but seriously, he’s well out of his college days!
I enjoyed hearing others’ perspectives. There are additional logistic reasons why he wouldn’t be able to stay over, so I guess we’ll leave it at that.
Post # 11
craigslistgirl: ah gotcha. well in that case, no way. totally on your side on this one!! dude needs to grow up.