Post # 1
Oh boy. Today I was with my FI and his family. His dad’s side. Parents are divorced, very messy. Although it was years ago, it is making it difficult for everyone.
His aunt and cousin offered to throw us a shower, but we’re having a hard time with what to do with his mom. She doesn’t mix well with his dad’s side of the family or her sister and neices. Is it okay to not invite her to the showers? Where do we seat her at the wedding? Do we just sit her down and tell her to knock her crap off? (Which has not had a history of working…)How do we approach this? Every ounce of good in me is telling me it’s not okay to not invite her, but history is telling me to just leave her out.
She has a history of making people miserable and I’m already sick to my stomach because I know she won’t be able to behave herself. She’s already showing her bad side and we’re still 9 months from the wedding.
I guess I should probably mention that he (FI) doesn’t really get along with her either. What to do. What to do.
Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!
Post # 4
Ah, that’s rough. I mean, the people hosting the shower invite guests so you could say it wasn’t up to u but that’s just putting the blame on someone else. Maybe this will teach her to be on her best behavior lol
Post # 5
@cbco: My parents are messily divorced too. What we (my sister, my brother and I) have done at weddings is seat them well apart and trusted them to behave. At my brother’s wedding, they were in the same row but with my sister and her husband in between them, (I was on the end because I had to get up and do a reading). Then at separate tables at the reception. We don’t do bridal showers here so I have no easy advice there, sorry.
I don’t think it could hurt for FI to tell her that at the wedding she’ll seated well away from her ex’s family, so could she please keep her distance from them, and behave, for her son’s sake.
Post # 6
They feel obligated. Her being his mother and all. I am at a loss.
Post # 7
Are you having more than one shower? Has anyone from your side of the family offered? If so invite her to that one instead. It is not unusual for couples to have showers with different sides of the family.
As for the wedding just seat them apart.
At the end of the day if she causes any drama it will reflect badly on her and no one else.
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2014 - South Bonson Pier & Community Centre
If you’re not doing “sides” at th wedding, than she doesn’t have to sit beside everyone else, and definitely sit them away from eachother at the reception. As for the shower, I would have him give her a heads up that there is to be absolutely no drama, and that if there is, she’d be asked to leave.
At my wedding, I’m having buffers between me and my brother, and I’m giving myself permission to walk away if I feel I’m being bullied by him. And telling a few key people that if they find him offensive, it is okay to do the same, that I would not think they were being rude for cutting him off.
Post # 9
Thank you for all the advice! I just have a heck of a time with her. I’m pretty sure that regardless of what I do, she’s going to do what she wants anyway. So I’m just going to sit back and hope for the best. HA!