FI's mom wants to walk down aisle with her ex…huh?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@darkflame:  Um…. sounds like you and your fi’s parents (and step parents) need to plan a lunch date and get this sorted. That’s incredibly awkward…

Post # 4
4041 posts
Honey bee

@darkflame:  Was their divorce amicable? It sounds like they did this for his sister’s wedding, so they should be fine for your wedding. I would make sure that your FI’s dad knows about the situation and if he is fine with it, then that’s that. If you FI is ok with it, then it’s a go.

Yes, it is odd, but it’s not the end of the world.

Post # 5
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@darkflame:  I find this kind of odd since they are both remarried, but how wonderful that they get along well enough to walk down the aisle together! They may have suggested it out of respect for your FI. It might be kind of nice to have a photo of them walking down the aisle together, in honor of their son’s marriage. I think it would be a beautiful moment 🙂 Their spouses could always be escorted by another usher and still be seated next to them.

Post # 6
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

It doesn’t sound too awkward– have FFIL and FMIL walk together, then sit with their respective new partners in the front-row pew!

Post # 7
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@darkflame:  it is a very unusual situation! However, if your fiancé, his parents, and their new spouses are okay with this arrangement, I think you should go ahead with it. Sometimes, all the explaining in the world would still leave you trying to make sense of it all.

My advice is speak to all parties involve and come up with a consensus. I;d let your fiancé take the lead on this since he knows his parents best. Good luck!!

Post # 9
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

If they’ve done it before at the sister’s wedding, I’d imagine they are okay with doing it again.  But that is definitely something I would tell your FI to check with all parties.

Post # 10
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Glen Sanders Mansion

It does seem odd, but I agree with @mrs-to-be-2014.  If everyone is comfortable with the arrangement, I would be ok with it.  

Post # 11
15011 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I don’t see any issue with them wanting to walk in together. It really is only an issue between them and their spouses, and it sounds like they have already done it once so it sounds like there may be an agreement already in place. 

Post # 12
863 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@darkflame:  Was he married to his current wife at the time of the sisters wedding?

If he was, like PPs have said, they’ve obviously come to some sort of agreement.

If not, I’d agree with you that your FMIL is demanding this to shove it the wife’s face…


Post # 13
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m not from a divorced home, but I can see how it would be a really nice gesture of peace, goodwill, and love towards their son to have them walk down the aisle together, provided their spouses are okay with the arrangement.

My best friend got married, and her divorced parents did the same (both remarried), and it was really sweet.  So I say it’s not too weird!!

Post # 14
1917 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Better than all the divorced parents that refuse to come to the wedding if their ex (or the ex’s new spouse) is invited!

I don’t see the problem – if everyone is comfortable with it, I think it’s a nice gesture to show that these are the two people that brought your husband into the world 🙂

Post # 15
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@darkflame:  I know it sounds odd and awkward but her idea may turn out to be a huge gift to you. this way you do not have to prioritize which parent walks down the aisle first and everyone feels important. as long as his dad is on board I say go for it! 

Post # 16
7025 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@darkflame:  My parents are divorced and I certainly can’t imagine them doing that! This is the sort of thing which should only happen if both parents are happy with it. So FI should ask his father if he’s comfortable with it. If FI’s father is comfortable with it, do it. If FI’s father isn’t comfortable with it, don’t. (i.e. Just because he was put in an uncomfortable position at his daughter’s wedding, doesn’t mean he should need to do it again).

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