Post # 1
Both my FI’s and my parents have been married for 30+ years, so I thought it would be nice to pay tribute to them somehow at our wedding. The problem, is that all my ideas keep getting shot down because his parents didn’t have a wedding. Just a quick ceremony, and dinner with their parents.
I thought of a few ideas like playing their first dance songs at our reception (they didn’t have dancing), putting up pictures of their weddings on our guest book table (no photos taken that day – crazy).
My parents have offered us mementos from their wedding to use, like their cake cutting set and champagne flutes, and the hankerchief my mom carried down the aisle, but I feel kind of weird not acknowledging both equally.
Do you guys have any alternate ideas? Or opinions on whether you think it will feel like my parents are more “special” if we use their stuff only, or only play their wedding song.
Post # 3
I would just ask FI’s parents. It might be even more awkward to force it on them if they don’t have those momentos. Or maybe they’ll have something else in mind. Does it have to be something from their wedding? Maybe they just have something in general that means a lot to them you can use for your wedding. And if it’s not important to them or they don’t have any ideas, I would just let it go. Enjoy what your parents are sharing.
Post # 4
Ditto to what Amaryllis said. You could also do an anniversary dance, or mention both parents’ long marriages in a speech or toast to it during the reception
Post # 5
I wore jewellery that MIL owned. I think it’s nice to acknowledge both families, but it doesn’t have to be public or about their wedding, if that makes sense. MIL and FIL are divorced so that definitely wouldn’t have worked for us!
Post # 6
I like the jewelry idea. My FMIL lent me a bracelet to wear totally unsolicited. If you are looking to put something on the table, I guess it might be easiest to just come out and tell them what you are trying to do and how you can represent them and honor their marriage. It doesn’t necessarily need to be something from their wedding day. Maybe a nice photo of their hands showing their wedding bands or something like that.
Post # 7
It may not be that important to FI’s parents – plus, it seems natural that you’d use things from your parents. I wouldn’t necessarily go out of my way to highlight the items you are using. What does your FI think?