- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
I’ve been with FI for 6 years. Mr Honeybee’s family is his mum, dad & older sister, “Isabel.” His parents make it VERY clear that they prefer Isabel and her hubby (Luke) to me & FI. Which sounds so juvenile but it’s true! Weeks, even a month, can go by without Mr Honeybee’s parents even sending a text to either of us, whereas FI’s mum and Isabel chat on the phone regularly, keep in contact with Luke (their son in law) and have shopping trips. I’ve never been invited. When we’re with the parents, every other sentence is about Luke & Isabel, how funny they are, how great a couple they are…I’m always polite and join in the praise, but on the inside it hurts. Especially since Luke hasn’t been around as long as I have.
FI’s mum took me out shopping yesterday, just the two of us, to look at wedding gowns. I was thrilled at the chance to bond. Yet she spent nearly the entire day talking about Isabel’s beautiful dress, Isabel’s wedding, it was a perfect day….I can’t lie, I was disappointed. I just feel like such an outsider.
I hold my head high and do my best to be sweet and caring, but I feel like I’m in constant competition with Isabel, which is ridiculous. I want to keep FMIL in the loop with wedding planning, but I feel like every step of the way I’m being compared to Isabel’s wedding.
Clearly I know Isabel is her blood daughter and she will (and should) always come first, and they have a special bond I could never replicate. I am totally cool with that. But it’s so hurtful to feel, after 6 years, that I’m still not “one of the girls”. Isabel got married last year, didn’t ask me to be a BM (which is okay) but didn’t even speak to me about the wedding. I was completely out of the loop, never invited to a single bridal event besides the wedding, never had any chance to forge a sisterly-in-law bond, nothing. I try to keep in touch, but if I don’t make the first move, I literally don’t hear from her for a month.
While I’m being ridiculous…Isabel DID in fact have a gorgeous wedding. Lol. The worst part is, Isabel is a great woman, she’d be a lovely SIL if she actually wanted to be close, but for some reason she keeps me at a distance.
It’s definitely me just being bitter because I’m not included or really thought of as family. I totally get that. I just don’t understand why I’m not accepted. We’ve never had any major problems, no fights, I can’t even remember having slightly confrontational words with either of them. I’ve always been so nice.
Do you bees think maybe it’s an age thing? There’s five years between Isabel and I (24 and 29)…not a huge difference but maybe at this stage in my life, she sees me as more of a kid? Either that or they just don’t like my personality.
I keep myself busy with my own friends & wonderful family and I’ve begun to distance myself from Isabel and her mum, but some days it stings. It’s just nice to be accepted and feel like you fit in with FI’s family isnt it?