- 2 years ago
I guess I should start with the fact that I really do get along with my Future IL’s. Loving people. Had a few rough patches and I think my liberal side, that I reign in around them mostly, still shocks them a bit, but nothing big.
That being said. I really don’t like some of the things that they are asking the FI and I to do in preparation for our wedding. I am a christian, attend Episcopal Church on a semi-regular basis and the FI comes with me fairly often. FI was raised Southern Baptist but doesn’t care for the church and does not attend except on special occassions, Mothers Day and the like. They are asking that we find a church to become members of, attend bible study, read the bible every evening and attend pre-marital counseling.
I have a church. It’s just not baptist. My FI is not interested in becoming a member of mine or any other. He likes attending but that’s about as far as he personally wishes to go. I do not like bible study classes. Never have. FI doesn’t seem to care about that. I do not wish to read the bible with someone else it’s one of the reason’s I don’t enjoy bible study. I have been in attendance to many bible study classes, either with friends I was spending the weekend with or when I was a child. So it is from first ahnd experience that I do not care for them.
Last, I really do not wish to attend premarital counseling. Don’t get me wrong, I am a big believer in counseling for many different things and know it helps a lot of couples. It just seems odd to me. We aren’t having a preacher marry us and we have discussed seriously all asspects of our future. From children, to finances, to dealing with family as a united front. Where and when we wish to retire. We aren’t walking into this blinded by the shine of a ring and a big party.
I know that the In Laws will be disappointed but the things they want aren’t what the FI and I want. I need some advice on how to delicately handle the situation should it come up. Really don’t want to offend or hurt anyone. I respect the choices they made for their marriage but will want them to respect the choices the FI and I make for ours.