(Closed) FI's procrastination is driving me CRAZY!

posted 5 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
5007 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Ask people for addresses yourself! If you don’t have their contact, ask him for his phone to get their phone numbers. There’s still plenty of time to ask groomsmen too. My FI probably won’t do it until they have to order their suits haha.

Post # 4
Member
11753 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I feel your pain – my wedding is 2 months before yours though. I gave him all this info for our rehersal dinner to give to his parents (since it’s out of town from where they live) and he refuses to follow up on it.  I’m like seriously dude?! It’s the one thing I’ve asked you to do!

I’ve got to disagree with PP – why should you have to do ALL the work?! They’re his guests, he can get off his ass and help out!

Post # 6
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I know that when I want my DH to do something I need to be VERY direct with my request. Talking about something that needs to get done in the future just sounds translates to “Oh I have plenty of time to get that done.. I’ll just put it off” to him. Your guy may need to be asked and given a specific date that it needs to be done by. Try that with the other things you need him to do. Hopefully it will work. Good luck!

 

Post # 7
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Just tell him that if you don’t have an address, they don’t get a Save the Date or an invitation.  And when they freak out because they didn’t get invited he’ll be the one dealing with them. Wink

Post # 10
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I feel ya girl! My FI & I are living 16 hours apart right now & he’s working mostly in the field, so without reliable cell service. I try to give him a break since he is working (sometimes 16 hour days), but his procrastination can be a little frustrating. We are getting married in less than 60 days & he hasn’t decided on a best man! He has asked two of his friends to be in the wedding and my brother will be a groomsmen as well, but he hasn’t specifically asked one of them to be his best man! And he hasn’t decided on formal wear. I guess I’m partly to blame for this. I don’t want to stress him out while we are apart, so I’m basically taking on all the stress. I guess I could decide on the formal wear, but it’s important to me that he takes responsibility for at least some of the planning and that he likes what he’s wearing. I know that he will spring into action when he gets home next month, but it’s been a little crazy while he’s been away. 

Hang in there! Hopefully your FI will step up to the plate & realize this is a time sensitive party you are planning! I had to end up texting a lot of his side for addresses because he kept forgetting. 

Post # 12
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think it would be OK to send out STD’s up to 6 months in advance. I think you have plenty of time.

That said, I agree with others that if you want your man to do anything for the wedding that you have to give him a specific task and a deadline. Men are not mind readers and they do not sit around reading wedding forums all day like we brides – haha. They have no idea what to do or when so we have to tell them what we expect! Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@KHR20507:  

I had that problem, and yes it can be very frustrating. Contact his friends yourself and get their information. Also, tell him that if he doesn’t ask his friends soon to be groomsmen you’re going to do it yourself. That should light a fire under him.

 

Post # 14
Member
5007 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MrsWBS:  

because you’re the one who wants it done 🙂

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