(Closed) FI's sister is not coming to the wedding…

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: FI's sister "has to work" on our wedding day... unfortunate but legit, or lame excuse?
    Unfortunate but legit... she probably really tried but couldn't get the time off. : (41 votes)
    44 %
    Lame excuse! Who can't get a day off for a family wedding with weeks/months of notice? : (50 votes)
    53 %
    Other : (3 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    46138 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    At my workplace a new staff member with 2 months experience wouldn’t have a chance of getting the day off.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2204 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    If she just started this job in November, she might really not have the time off. Maybe more senior staff members already put in for vacation and she can’t take off because of them.

    it seems really weird that your FIs family would be ok with her not coming.

    is it a destination wedding?

    Post # 5
    Member
    1691 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Unless you KNOW she didn’t ask, then I think she just may have,  A lot of places don’t give you time off in your first 2 months of work. Perhaps she is worried they won’t think she’s a good employee if she’s asking for time off within 2 months of starting?  If she’d had this job a long time I’d say lame excuse, but since she just started, her career and income may just trump a wedding.

    Post # 6
    Member
    108 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @lanalnoco:  LAME! Poor excuse and I feel that if she really wanted to come she would’ve have been able to get the time off. Is your FI and his sister close? And do you get along with her? Just trying to figure out why she isn’t trying to make it happen…

    Post # 7
    Member
    845 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Lame-O!  I honestly think she could get off for one day.  It’s not a DW is it?

    Post # 8
    Member
    7431 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    If she he just started in Nov. then and yes many companies especially around holidays are short staffed as is. Workers who have seniority get time off requests honored first before upstarts. As disappointing as it is, your not covering her bills. cut her some slack.

    Post # 9
    Member
    4660 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    My co-worker experienced this personally — a very close family member is getting married next week and she asked for time off for it months ago and was assured it’d work out. Nobody said anything for like two months and then she asked again three weeks ago to make sure everything was ok. No one said anything for ANOTHER week. Then she was told no, and “you should have said something sooner.”

    She’s very non-confrontational so she just took it. I wouldn’t have… but I’m just saying at a very busy or inattentive workplace, this can totally happen. It might not be a lame excuse.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1902 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    As others posters have said, a lot of workplaces will hesitate to give time off to new employees and, given that this is generally the holiday season for a lot of people, there’s a good chances that her co-workers have already applied for leave around this time, so her bosses may genuinely not be able to spare her. She could also feel bad asking for time off (I know this is something I struggle with – I’d rather keel over from exhaustion than ask for a break!).

    It’s also possible that she doesn’t like weddings – not necessarily your wedding, but weddings in general. I can’t stand weddings, and I’ll usually avoid them like the plague unless it’s a very close friend or family member and, even then, if an excuse comes up, I’ll usually jump at it. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about my friend/family member or their marriage – I just don’t care for getting dressed up to sit around watching people talk about how much they love each other. I also don’t drink or dance much, so even the receptions are pretty dull for me. I don’t know your FSIL, but I can definitely understand someone not being excited for a wedding and taking time off work to attend.

    Post # 12
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I don’t know I think it’s a major event for her to miss. However given how tough it is to find a job, I don’t think she could just leave especially if she has bills to pay. I think her reason is legit even if it blows. In most places I worked from retail to even my corporate position there has always been a 90 day probationary period so it’s normal and she is probably telling the truth.

    Let her work it out with her brother, and let it go.

    Post # 13
    Member
    9062 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I worked retail and I was in my best friend’s wedding.

    I nearly had to do unfavorable things to get the day off and I was a part of the bridal party. Unless you know different, give her the benefit of the doubt. Getting off work is tough sometimes.

    ETA: I applied for the day off the day I was hired (About 3 months prior to the wedding) and I had a lot of difficulty getting the day off. I was so, so, so blessed that one of my co-workers heard my plea and was able to cover for me, which was lucky because we were specifically trained for our department (I was hunting) and he was also in hunting.

    Post # 15
    Member
    46138 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @lanalnoco:  I am a Registered Nurse. Our vacation time is done a year ahead by seniority. I only got one day of the dates I requested for vacation in 2013.

    As for people in Education being nicer, I doubt that has anything to do with it. We have had many posts from teachers unable to get time off for almost anything during the school year.

    Post # 16
    Member
    649 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I think this is a lame excuse, because most employers are open to discussing scheduled upcoming vacations during the hiring process.  I took a one week vacation two months after receiving a promotion for a different department within my hospital.  It was considered a new job, and I openly informed them that I had a trip planned in two months.  They were completely fine with it. 

    If she asked and was denied is one thing, but if she didn’t even try, then it is totally lame!

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